I have a great deal to say today, so let's just dive right in, shall we? (This will be done in a bulleted points format to make things more easily distinguishable and separate for the readership)

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• I realize that Chicago is a large city, and that there are many MANY video rental facilities in the greater Chicagoland area, but when 80+ students are trying to get a hold of the same movie so that they can write a paper on it in the next week or so, that movie becomes a bit of a hot comodity. Apparently my anthropology professor doesn't understand this. (We've already covered that she is a total and complete idiot... but it bears repeating.)
• If art history has taught me nothing else, I can safely say that I have learned how figures inhabit a space... this is useful knowledge. Knowledge that I can also say that I am blessed with is, I know how to MOVE through space. I have also learned that the VAST MAJORITY of people do not have knowledge of how to move through space. This includes, but is not limited to:
  

1. Walking
2. Driving
3. Getting on and off of any form of public transit (despite any crowding or complete lack thereof)
4. Picking up your feet when you walk
5. Not blocking traffic where others are walking and you have mysteriously decided to stop
6. Not stepping into the path of people who are walking or other moving objects
7. Walking significanly faster or slower than a massive traffic of people can obviously allow
8. Blocking the entrance and/or exit of escalators
9. Stalling on down-escalators when it is obvious that the person behind you is in a hurry (C'mon, gravity is working with you on this one.)
10. Walking all the way to the back of the elevator, instead of standing at the front and forcing all other passengers to navigate around you.
    

• Apparently my nose "FLAPS" when I laugh really hard... I would describe this action as a nostril flare but I am apparently wrong, as Erin Jacobs has informed me that it in fact, FLAPS. (*There is no extraneous noise which accompanies said flapping, unless you're counting the laughter of others.)
• I am in fact aware that I have not addressed any of the topics which I said I would around Christmas time, i.e. - me turning into my mother, this is a problem I hope to remedy when my computer is feeling better.
• The THEY have not had a meeting of the minds in a little while, we hope to remedy this shortly, and get back to you with any and all updates, in the meantime, we are hoping for a clever acronym to accompany the title "The THEY" - T.H.E.Y. - You might be allowed into The THEY if you are successful in coming up with a workable acronym.
• I have come to the conclusion that it is time for me to go on a diet. I realized that this year's "winter-weight-gain" has caused me to get to know my "Fatty-jeans" on a way to frequent and all-too-uncomfortable basis, and it is time to get serious about this shit! (Ladies, I know you're hearin' me!)

A specific and repeated message to David C. Hurley,

• In case you have not noticed that the phone messages have turned sour, this can only mean one thing. I am presently VERY upset.

• "Why are you upset, Liz?" you feel the need to ask... this would not only make you a dumbass, it would also mean that you are oblivious and have likely been comatose for a period of 3 months. The fact of the matter is that I have no plausible reason why I wouldn't hear from you for 3 months other than the possibilty that you are in fact comatose or dead, (in which case I would think that someone would have the presence of mind to cancel your phone service, and/or at least have the decency to call me and let me know of your untimely demise) or the alternative; that you are entirely too pussy-whipped on your girl. If it is in fact the latter, I am shocked, because you always described her as "so cool." (There were in fact times that I found myself liking her during the occasional story, in times when I did hear from my friend Dave) If this is the case, and if she does not allow you to talk to and/or have other contact with females who you were friends with (and have not ever, nor will ever date in all likelihood) for a matter of several YEARS before she ever came along, then she is, in point of fact, NOT SO COOL. I would be shocked, insulted, and personally offended if you were dating a girl with such low self esteem as to impose such restrictions on a person who she loves... because that is horse shit. But since I have no other explaination, and little other recourse, I can only hope that you are not in fact deceased, in a coma, or married to this vile beast, and that this reaches you. I only call and write because I care.
• (*If Dave's girlfriend happens to read this and she is not the vile beast I have been led to believe that she is over the last three months, then I apologize... and that means that you are either dating a corpse, a vegetable, or a serious asshole. In which case, please feel free to call me. 773-750-2903 - I get the feeling that one way or another we're going to need a chat.)

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QOTD
(with regard to J-Dub's quote of 2.19.05, it should be noted that while at work today, I made a special effort to take notice of the "Bubble butt" belonging to one Mr. Patrick Baldwin, and the following quote occurred later in the day)
2.20.05 - "Can I get a towel?" [gets a towel] "Hmm, can I get a bigger towel? Have you seen me lately?" ~Patrick Baldwin (I swear to you, these things happened on the SAME DAY!)

2.21.05/2.22.05 -
Kasia: "I was sitting over there until they started telling dead baby jokes..."
Krystian: "What's the difference between 1000 volvos and 1000 dead babies? ... I don't have 1000 volvos in my garage!"
Mike K: "What's the difference between 1000 bowling balls, and 1000 dead babies? ...I can't move 1000 bowling balls with a pitchfork!"

Ok, just so you all are aware, my computer isn't quite dead yet... in fact he's just partially dead. Bret still has it though, so don't be expecting posts with any kind of regularity just yet.

And so I leave you with your quotes:

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QOTD

2.18.05 - "It's 10:30 AM, I have a job interview at 11:15, and right now I am at the library TRYING TO SOBER UP! I ought to be executed" ~The Admiral

2.19.04
Leo: I want to shower, but I can't, all the basketball coaches are in there showering. -- Jen, you should go in there, I mean they're all naked!
Jen W.: I should! You know, I do really wanna see Patrick Baldwin's ass! He's got a serious bubble butt goin' on, I mean have you seen that thing? IT'S OUTTA CONTROL!!"

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With a name like Smuckers it has to be good!

I'm going to go ahead and use this time and place to rant a little bit about this semester. At present, I have a miserable existence. I hate ALL of my classes this semester, and I feel like I am trapped in a bad relationship. All I do anymore is go over HISTORY, HISTORY, HISTORY, and DRAMA, DRAMA DRAMA...(Leo interjects "Marsha! Marsha! Marsha!") I learn about learning, and I sit trapped in a place where I feel far smarter and otherwise superior to those in control of my situation, and yet it is impossible for me to get out.

I feel like I need to just break up with this semester and get it over with, (possibly by using the old classic "It's not you it's me" line, despite the fact that just like every other time that line is used, it really is not the person saying it that is the problem...) but that leaves me with the one big burning question: "What then? What happens then if you don't just wait it out?" ... Well, mom says I can come home and flip burgers for a living, and let's be honest, I really don't see much difference between the burger flipper who knows that the "War of the Roses" was between the York and Lancaster families in England, and it ended when King Henry VIII married a York daughter and ended the dispute, and the burger flipper who will live his or her entire life with no knowledge of these events.

So I'll ride it out. I'll get this stupid bloody degree, this piece of paper that says "HEY, look at me, I've got an overpriced education, this likely means I am either brilliantly smart and paid for it through scholarship money, or I am deep in debt, which means I will devote myself to keeping a job so that I can pay my student loan bills... Either way, you know you're getting an employee that you can count on."

Another complaint about my education: I have already told you all that I despise attendance policies, I feel smarter than my Anthropology professor, I despise getting up for my art history classes to be lectured by a professor with no concept of "making things interesting and approachable" (who possesses the added bonus of having a head shaped like a mushroom,) I don't like going to drama class where I am forced to try to decipher the lecture given in a THICK Indian accent, and listen to made up words like "Symbolical" (By the way, this instills faith in my university's English department, when they are willing to hire English professors that posses such a limited understanding of the language that they proceed to make up words... But I digress.) And to add insult to severe injury, I hate my history professor.

Here's the story: I don't like history to begin with. (I don't like reading/hearing any LONG-ASS story when I already know the ending... Sorry, I have better things to do with my time.) In addition to her weird lecturing style, her utterly bizarre testing methods, and her general overall nuttiness, (no doubt, nuttier than a Guinness-book world-record-sized pecan pie.) So in an effort to preserve my own sanity, I took a non-history book to class, and as I sat in the back, quietly reading, not disturbing anyone, I was reprimanded because I was doing something that had nothing to do with her lecturing. (It should be noted that there were several people either not in attendance, sleeping, or playing computer games on their laptops who were not singled out for reprimand, and we all know that nothing bothers me more than a double standard. And since these students were also engaging in activities that had nothing to do with their historical education, I feel I have to right this injustice, if only by ranting about it here.) Tiggles claims that she probably didn't say anything about the computer games because she was unaware they were going on... To that, I stick to the mantra of my former professors, and that judge in Duluth, Minnesota who said, "Ignorance is not an excuse!" SO THERE!

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Now that I've gotten that out of my system, I'll go ahead and say this. I apologize to you kids, my readers, my friends and family, my colleagues and coworkers for my continued grumpalumpagus-ness that has been pretty much the status quo since the inception of this semester. I have been generally miserable overall, and I have let it spill over into my interaction with all of you. I have been an incessantly-whiny asshole, I'm sorry. I'll try to do better. I can't make any promises other than "I'LL TRY! REALLY." (Please note I waited until AFTER today's rant to say I'd try to do better!)

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QOTD
2.16.04 - [Person X is pretty much the only person I can't stand to the point of STRUGGLING to feign civility.( Jen W. and person X are talking when I arrive. Person X leaves.)]
Jen W. - "Hey! What's up?"
Liz - "I just have one quick question for you. Can you honestly tell me that you find it possible to engage in an intelligent conversation with [Person X]?
Jen W. - "Well, no, but the lack of intelligence makes the conversation part easy."

2.17.05 -
Liz: "Someone should really tell Shane that with that combination of cross-hatch-patterned tie and vertical striped shirt that he looks like a fucking optical illusion!"
Leo: "I'll do that later, and when I do, I'll be sure to use those exact words! "Fucking optical illusion!"

I feel the need to tell all of you a couple of things, and since I have access to a computer at present, I am going to do just that.

1. David Christopher Hurley is officially missing. I draw the line at 10 unanswered and unreturned phone calls, 3 unreturned e-mail attempts, innumerable comments about his disappearance on this page, and one unanswered post on HIS webpage. Someone get me a team of bloodhounds, because I think Dave is encased in a block of cement, and resting at the bottom of some body of water in the greater Baltimore area. There can be no other explanation, can there?
2. (The above was deliberately done in a huge font.)
3. I now rest assured that I can find a job with little or no effort. Why, you ask? Because Loyola University it seems, will employ just about anybody who has the ability, intellectually, instinctively, or otherwise to put a shirt on, and safely manage to navigate their way to one of the campuses. I know this because my Anthropology professor lacks the common sense and intelligence that god gave a sea monkey, yet manages to hold a graduate degree and a teaching position at a somewhat "prestigious" university... Though the prestige might be dwindling if we're willing to hire characters like this one to teach the future generations... And if I can't manage to wrangle myself into a teaching position, I KNOW I could easily get a job in the student business office... Because we all know that you can be borderline-mentally-retarded and still work there. (This might just be my typical valentine's day anger being channeled into other topics and areas of my life, but I'm strangely ok with that.)

That is all. Thanks for taking the time to read.

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QOTD

2.15.05 - "Hey, I need something to suck on... And I just don't want it to be chocolate." ~Jamie

Happy Valentines day/ Singles Awareness day...

I hate this bloody, god-forsaken, hallmark holiday. Why? Because I am always single. (This is no change from any other day on which I am single, except for the fact that this is a day when we singletons are ostracized for our seemingly permanent single-hood.)

Lots has happened since the last time I posted, and every so often I find myself saying, "Man I should write all of this down, so that people have a chance to read about it... but here's just a couple of quick bullet points.

• First off, there was a suicide on the el tracks last Thursday. It was all that anyone could talk about in class on Friday. (Word to the wise: If you didn't see it, don't speculate. And certainly don't say that you wish you'd been there... You obviously don't know what you're saying if these words exit your mouth.)
• Pertaining to the afforementioned statement; there are certain things in this life that a person cannot "Un-see" ... we'll leave it at that.
• I lost my phone on Friday, got it back from a nice boy on Saturday.
• I met Beth's mom on Saturday, she is fabulous.
• Sunday I shopped, because well, despite my computer problems, I NEEDED a little retail therapy this week.

So there you have it. Congrats, you're all caught up.

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QOTD

2.12.o5 - "Cock push-ups? I can totally do two... that's more than that fat bastard Jack Black can do!" ~ Eric Spiess

2.13.05- "MMMM, this is like heaven in my mouth... not an orgasm in my mouth, because that would be a blow job!" ~ Jen W.

2.14.04 - "You're giving me a valentine? Why?Every time I see you, I'm always mean to you!" ~ Shane Davis

Posts might be few and far between here for a bit kids...

The sad fact is that I found that my computer died a sudden and quiet death yesterday. I had it turned on as usual, and when I returned to check my messages in the afternoon, I found that poor little Vinny had kicked the bucket. At first I thought it was merely the normal auto-shut-off thing that happens from time to time, but after a couple of attempts to turn it back on, I came to the sudden realization that it was far more serious. I tried re-charging the battery, I tried plugging it in and taking the battery pack off... Poor Vinny has breathed his last I'm afraid. We all knew this day had to come, we just never thought it would come so soon. I am hoping that Bret will take pity on me and Vinny and see what he can do as far as resuscitation... I've got my fingers crossed, but I'm not exactly holding out for a miracle. (Anybody got a decent notebook computer they are lookin to get rid of cheap?)

Other than that, the last few days have been filled with studies of art history, and reading plays I don't understand... Envy me.

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The best part of my day so far certainly came after lunch when we were sitting around the conference table in the Ireland room at alumni gym. Along with a couple quotes of the day, we also started up a brand new game that will surely catch on and become a favorite in offices the world over. Our version was played on the conference table with a racket ball and a rolled up magazine. I think you can infer the basics from there.

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QOTD
2.10.05 - "Stick it in my ash!" ~ Jamie making an ash wednesday joke

2.11.05 - "Who doesn't like play-doh? I'll tell you who! TERRORISTS! If you don't like play-doh, you're a terrorist!" ~Pat Schultz

Other Ash Wednesday quotes included:

- That guy's an ash hole.
- Get your head out of your ash!
- What an ash!
- Were you just checking out my ash?
- Wow. That's a nice ash!
(If you have any of your own, feel free to contribute by clicking on the "comments" area and putting in your two cents!)

We all know that I love kids. I love watching kids, I love playing with kids, I love talking to kids, I love just about anything there is to do with kids. We all know that I want a "MESS-'O-KIDS" there are however 2 things that I have to worry about. Both of these concerns stem from reality shows. (We all know I detest reality shows, but in flipping through channels, I have to stop on occasion) My concerns are basically both the same thing, just in different phases of life... Basically reality TV has shown me that if there was ever a child that ACTUALLY deserved to be beaten with a coat hanger, they generally appear on either "Super Nanny" (a show where a family has let the kids run wild for so long that the parents have lost any semblance of control, and a profesional must be brought in to assist in retaking the family) or "My Super Sweet Sixteen" (where a child, usually female, and always entirely too wealthy to be a decent human being, has a sweet sixteen party).

These shows have demonstrated that there really is no substitute for quality parenting. (Thank you mom, for not beating me senseless with a coat hanger when I was rotten to you, and for raising me well enough so that nobody else wanted to beat me with a coat hanger either.)

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Sarah gave me another reason to detest myself. I'm not going to get into it here... let's just say that I did something SO AWFUL that I really might go to hell for it, (Yes it is worse than the toothbrush thing)

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To tell you about the weekend nonsense, I fell on black ice on Thursday, (if I had been an older woman I certainly would have broken my hip) instead I managed to only bruise myself (delicate peach that I am) and strain a few muscles, including a slight case of whiplash. I have total sympathy for Carolyn.

Friday was nothing special... a couple in-class naps and some time at the gym

Saturday was quite possibly the most glorious, sunny day that February in Chicago has ever known. I, of course, spent it at work. (But I eased my sorrows with a little retail therapy at the end of the day!)

Sunday was spent lounging about, watching sports, including, but not limited to this year's uneventful, unimpressive super bowl. (Predictably, the patriots won, just like Bill Simmons and I said they would,and there were no real stand-out commercials.)

I basically spent the weekend avoiding studying for art history.

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I tried calling Dave today. No answer. No return call.

I put on my sad face.

Mom thinks he has run away and married a jealous woman who does not allow him to have contact with me anymore because I am so awesome I would steal him... Hey, at least it's a theory... lord knows I've got no better explaination coming from Dave's camp.

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As for the first meeting of the THEY, Turkey Lurky and myself have come to a new decision about the calendar year... more specifically the calendar week. Here are the need-to-know highlights.

• Weeks will now officially begin either on a Wednesday or a Friday. The final decision is left to the individual, however, the options are limited to these two days.
• Monday was instantly ruled out from inhabiting the lead off spot because Mondays suck and we all know it. You gotta have a solid hitter in your lead off spot, otherwise there's no set up for good things later in the order.
  
• Tuesday was ruled out because Tuesday has yet to establish itself as a power hitter or a day with a high profile... you gotta open with a winner and Tuesday just hasn't put in the effort that we were hoping to see.
• Wednesday is certainly a possible contender. Over the last several years Wednesday has firmly established itself as "Hump day" ... And honestly, who doesn't like to start off the week with a good hump?
• Thursday looked good on paper, but when we were looking at the overall performance, the "Thirsty Thursday" profile was just lacking that special something which seemed all too evident in the days which sandwich it... Sorry Thursday fans, maybe next season.
• Fridays are an obvious favorite with the working world because of a firmly established history, and reputation as "PAYDAY!" Now honestly folks, who wouldn't want "PAYDAY" headlining, and in the leadoff spot? This is a goodway to start off the week!
• Saturday and Sunday were both excluded from consideration for the leadoff spot for pretty much the same reason... these are considered by most to be "Lazy days" and we all know that laziness will not get you into the leadoff spot with this team. Futhermore Sunday is regared as "The lord's day" and a traditional "Day of rest" and as far as we're concerned you should not start off your week with a day of rest, because you don't need it! YOU HAVEN'T BLOODY DONE ANYTHING YET, YOU LAZY BUTT PIE! Arguably, it would seem that starting off with a day of rest would kind of ease you into the week, but we, The THEY, contend that it would be much better to start the week with a nice hump, or get hit with a PAYDAY... So this is not up for negotiation.
• Please dispose of all calendars where weeks do not begin on Wednesday or Friday, and pick up a revised calendar as soon as is humanly possible.

These are the rules. You will have to deal.

We have also decided to reintroduce and repopularize the term "Crapola" in the great American lexicon... please immediately begin using the word "Crapola" liberally in any and all apropriate instances.

On a similar note, we are recommending the use of the term "Butt pie" for people with whom you are arguing, or are generally displeased. (i.e. - "CRAPOLA! You piss me off, you're nothing but a gigantic butt pie!")

Thank you.

Sincerely, The THEY.

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If you like kitties or not, I do suggest that you view this... it is enjoyable. (Thank you Christopher.)

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And for those Napoleon Dynamite fans out there, (And I know there are a lot of you, and that the number grows every day,) here is something that you will also enjoy. (Thank you Nater-tots)

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I did send out an e-mail on pooping ettiquite, if you did not receive this e-mail and would like to, please contact me with your e-mail address (if I don't already have it) and I will send it along to you.

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2.8.05 - "So of course I made a big deal of it, and I said 'MARY! You HAVE to come over here and look at this SUBMARINE SHIT!'" ~Erin talking about a monster dump in a movie theater bathroom

2.9.05 - "I have to pee again, Liz. I think I have overactive bladder! I am 19 and I'm going to have to go on Detrol [breaks into song from Detrol commercial] 'Gotta go, gotta go, gotta go right now, gotta go gotta go gotta go!' ... I mean it only makes sense, my mom has over-active bladder... my mom peed on a horse once!" ~ Erin. (Not many people can say that they have peed on a horse, it was worth mentioning.)

I just finished a long, glorious entry for all of you, and my computer wigged out and sudenly it was gone beforeI could publish it. I'm sorry. In case you care it was a recap of Thursday through Superbowl Sunday, including the first decisions reached during the first official meeting of the THEY. I'll try to reproduce it for you in the next day or so, but since I have an art history exam tomorrow so you'll just have to wait.

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2.7.05 -
Nicole: "Liz, did you get new bed stuff?"
Liz: "No... why?"
Nicole: "Oh, well, I guess it just looks different."
Liz: "Well, it's MADE."

I spend way too much time at a gym to not be spectacularly fit. Alas, I still spend my days there, and well, as for my fitness level, we're just not even going to go there.

I hope you enjoy the pictures I posted below, I thought they were amusing/nice.

As for musement, here's something that might give you a little chuckle. (There is another version of this on Ebaum.)

This is the original Iraqi kids pic. Courtesy of Pat Schultz. In case you can't read the text, it says, "Still safer here than at Michael Jackson's!"

Here's my first attempt at editing the Iraqi Kids picture... Leo recommended the text. I know it should be skewed a bit, and it could be in a more hand-written-looking script, but I think you still get the idea.

This is Me, Jen, and Nicole getting ready to go out on the town for Jen's birthday. Damn we're hot.

Apparently my peanut butter fudge was a success of mythic proportions. People were asking about it again today. (I have a feeling there will be a return run for valentine's day... we shall have to wait and see how the bank account is looking then.)

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Crushes are no fun. At least not for me... because I am a total candy ass when it comes to crushes.

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If you've seen Napoleon Dynamite, give this quiz a try. See who you'd be! (I am a Liger... naturally. Because I am basically the coolest animal ever... bred for my skills in magic.)

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QOTD
2.4.05 - "Wow, that fudge was good! It was like an orgasm in my mouth! .... Oh, wait, I guess that didn't sound too good!" ~ Jen W.

2.5.05 - "I hate pugs, I wish a pack of wolves would run around the city and eat all the pugs!" ~Blair

2.6.05 - [upon seeing asian people on tv] "Oh, hey! It's my people! My people are on tv. What are they doing??" ~ Jen W.

Hey there again kids! Groundhog day treats were a rousing success around the gym today. If you did not get a piece of peanutbutter fudge, and you wanted some, please see Ciara Henderson or Pat Schultz. They each had 5 pieces... I'm only guessing here, but I think they liked it.

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As for the comments (all in person, as it would seem nobody decided to say anything in the comments section) I've gotten regarding the toothbrush incident, here is my public response;

1. As I said before, I am still not sorry I did it.
2. SHE WAS A HORRIBLE PERSON! (I can refer you to her former roommate if you are seeking proof beyond my word.) Note: I am, in fact, sure that she IS STILL a horrible person, but the fact that I was never what you'd call "Friends" with her kind of led me to lose touch since then, so I can only speak to past misdeeds.
   
3. For the record, I did not personally live with her (i.e. she was not my roommate). We lived in the same suite in Simpson, (so I did still have to regularly tolerate her and her foulness). This means we were next door neighbors, and we shared a bathroom.
4. There was a witness in the room when I did this to the toothbrush, so I technically had a willing accomplice. She started out as a lookout, and then took a more active observational role. The social-psychological rules of diminished culpability apply.
5. The girl who I did this to did have highly questionable hygiene habits. (Including, but not limited to showering only once a month at times. I wish this were an exaggeration, but alas it is not.) That said, this girl also didn't use her toothbrush very often. I don't know if that makes you feel any better about the whole thing.
6. Another reason that I am a horrible person (also pertaining to this same girl) requires that you be aware of the fact that she was Jewish. (I have nothing against Jewish folks! I have several Jewish friends and I don't do this kind of thing to them, nor anything that I've ever heard them say was insensitive to our difference of religion.) Anyway, while in her first semester of attending a Catholic institution she loudly and repeately announced her disdain for all-things-Christmas. Being the asshole that I am, I used this knowledge to my advantage and to her irritation by leaving my dorm room door open and blaring Christmas music for all to hear. (Even in April... Yeah, I'm a jerk.)

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Leo and I are in the process of becoming the new "They" ... As in "They say that Elvis was spotted getting a footlong hotdog while having his oil changed at a service station up in Niles." or "They say that San Diego is Latin for 'a whale vagina'"

In the future, any time you hear anyone say "Well, you know, THEY say... " please check with either myself Elizabeth [last name redacted], or Mr. Leo R. Krause and check the facts. It seems that previous "THEYs" are trying to put a lot of their crap on us. We're not having it.

As for becoming a part of the THEY, please feel free to contact me and I'll see what we, the THEY, can do for you.

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QOTD
2.3.05 - Leo (aka Turkey Lurkey) were discussing the toothbrush entry)
Leo: "You say this girl was worse than you could ever even hope to be? That's incredible!"
Liz: "It's true. She was an affront to my 15% decency... she was a horrible human being"
Leo: "No, I mean you're pretty imaginative, it's gotta be really tough to top you."

Many popular magazines and news organizations have asked "Who is Paris Hilton", but all have missed the more pressing question: What is Paris Hilton? A cross between the traditional glory hole and what most of us would consider human or maybe a being which exists between the reality we all know and one in which all forms of purity and goodness have been replaced by pop culture and cheap liquor.


*Editorial note: This post was written by Dave on 12/14/04. I have been aware of it's existence since that time. Since Dave has completely dropped off the radar in the interim, I felt that this should be posted now... as they might be his last words. (Please observe a moment of silence at this time) Thank you. ~Liz~

For the first time ever, my job has made me want to do myself serious bodily harm. I make minimum wage at this job, there's no reason that work should follow me home! Yes, that's right, my laundry work has found its way into my homelife. This evening I was actually doing other things, and I got a message on my computer regarding an athlete's laundry. He was very concerned that he had placed a personal towel in the laundry and wanted me to keep an eye out for it. ARE YOU KIDDING ME? This guy had to contact me at home for this??? This couldn't wait until I worked tomorrow afternoon? This couldn't be handled by anyone else when he happened to be in the gym next? FOR REAL??? So, for future reference, I do not care enough about anyone's laundry other than my own... and I don't even care about my laundry to contact someone at home about it. I don't even call my dry cleaner at home, and those are the best parts of my wardrobe!

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I should probably take this opportunity to say that while I do know that some of my friends (though certainly not all,) and other people in the athletic department do read the blog. I don't know who exactly, but I think it's a fairly safe assumption that the people who mention my nonsense from these entries in my presence are occasional-to-daily readers, and I make no assumptions about anyone else. Based on this info, I generally censor information to protect people's feelings, etc. But this I gotta say! (I'll leave the name out to protect his anonymity, but if the boy reads this, I'm sorry.)

So here it is. A boy told me tonight that he loves me. This is not a boy I love. This is not a boy I currently, or ever had a crush on. This is a boy I regard as a friend. Not even necessarily a close friend. In point of fact, I don't think he knows enough about me to say that he loves me. I have dated people for significant periods of time without saying, "I Love you." I have never gone on a date with this boy, nor really seen him out socially. I guess this technically makes him an acquaintance... I really hope he wasn't serious, but I put nothing past anyone anymore. He seemed fairly serious until I rebuffed the statement. Honestly I did feel bad about saying no, he didn't really love me, but the fact is that he is a nice guy who I am not interested in beyond friendship. I can't help that. This, of course, happens the day after I tell selected people about my latest crush. The timing is a little unnerving.

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I was once again reminded that I am not a good person. Today while I was leaving class, I was talking with my friend Sarah, and she reminded me about a horrible thing that I did when I was a freshman.

You're curious now, aren't you? What did Liz do? What did Liz do that makes her so horrible?

Ok, fine, I'll tell you.

There was a girl freshman year, she will remain nameless, but I assure you that if you are reading this, it's not you. And this girl was a far more despicable than even I could ever hope to be... and well, she bothered me, but I tolerated her for almost the entire first year of my college career before doing this. You've probably guessed it by now. I took her toothbrush, and I used it to scrub the toilet bowl and the scummier parts of the shower corners and drain.

Know what?

I'm still not sorry I did it either.

This is why I am a horrible person.

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I tried calling Dave again. No answer. Pretty soon I'm going to cry. For real.

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If you're on the Lakeshore campus on 2.2.05 (Groundhog day) and you are so inclined, please stop by the cage in alumni gym after 2:30 and grab a piece of double decker peanut butter fudge. Home made by me! And while I am a terrible person, I promise I didn't do anything gross to the fudge!

I lack the energy to go through the levels of irritation at the moment, but to make sure you're not totally left hanging in suspense, I'll tell you that it ranges from "Stop it./slightly irritated" to "Incredibly irritated to beyond the standard limits of my tolerance/That's it, I think it's time I choke a bitch."

And so now here are your quotes as promised!

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1.28.05 - "So, I said, 'Call me again, and I'll fart in your mouth.'" ~ Lindsay O.

1.29.05 - (Nate is a collegiate-aged volleyball player... this shouldn't have come from his mouth at this age!)
Liz: "I don't tend to swim in public pools because while I was a lifeguard for 6 years I learned a lot about them that makes me want to avoid them."
Nate: "Yeah, I was one of those kids who would totally pee in the pool."
Liz: "EEEEW! That's SICK!"
Nate: "What? The last time I peed in a pool was like 2 years ago."

1.30.05 - "Hey Liz, I think I've found my game!! GIN! I totally won all but one game on the road trip!" ~ Chris K. (She has been struggling with playing Shitter, but she apparently has found her card playing niche.)

1.31.05 - "Want candy? [What is it?] BUNNY POO! It's bunny poo, just try it! YAAAAAAAY BUNNY POO!" ~ Krystian

2.1.05 -
Liz: "I have bunnies in my gloves!"
Erin: "Real ones? [tried on fur-lined gloves] OOOH! This is like sex for my hands! It's kind of like my UGG boots, those are sex for my feet!"

2.2.05 - "Liz, look what I brought! (pulls out a copy of "In Touch" magazine; a celebrity-focused gossip, trash mag.) And guess who's pregnant! [Liz: "I really don't care Er."] Well, none of them are actually pregnant... It's VERY DECEPTIVE! But I love Jessica [Simpson]." ~ Erin

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I have a new crush. SHHHHH!

I do sincerely apologize for my lack of posting this weekend. There are many topics to cover, so let's just dive right in!

• Friday was Jennifer's birthday, so instead of going to class I went to Jewel and got all the stuff I needed to make her a cake. (Jennie left to go to NW Indiana for the evening before the cake was completed, but that's ok, we celebrated on Saturday instead!)
• So, Friday night I had the apartment to myself, I wanted to paint but didn't. Instead, I drank alone, cleaned my room, and toyed with the idea of making out with a boy. (Fortunately for all involved that didn't happen... Just trust me here, this one was a good makeout for me to avoid.)
• Saturday I loafed about, did some reading (though not as much as I should have) and then went to Joe's for beer and the IU game.
• Saturday night was VIP time. We pre-drank a bit at home, I called Dave from the cab, and in typical form he didn't answer, nor did he return the call. (I think he's ignoring me in the hopes I will forget that he hasn't followed through with Christmas gift exchange yet... no such luck.) So, we went to Hi-tops (where I nearly had to choke a bitch, but more on that in a bit) and Barleycorn's (where, unlike my birthday weekend, I actually remember being upstairs this time) to celebrate the anniversary of my roommate's birth, and we actually called it a night pretty early. (We all know that while I love Wrigley, and all it stands for in the spring and summer months, you also know how much I hate the wrigleyville bar scene.) So general tiredness of all of that plus a little drama (once again not MY drama) and the impending field trip (more on that in a moment) caused us to phone it in and end the night fairly early. (Sorry Natey-kins, no rockstar effort this time.)
• We came home, had some cake and other drunken carbs, and went to bed. Pretty standard evening with the added bonus of birthday cake! (I also had the most cracked out dream ever, involving the alien thing from the Predator movies, my buddy Jeff, a tennis ball, a giant shrubbery maze, bad breath, and people I went to high school with and have not spoken to since graduation... but that has nothing to do with anything else... but I digress.)
  
• Sunday I was required to get up earlier than I honestly wanted to because I had to go to the Art Institute for an art history field trip. (Yes, a class field trip on a SUNDAY MORNING... I'll get into the details of this in a moment... but let's just say that this trip caused me to further detest my professor and this class.)
• I then bought a loaf of bread entirely in change because I am poor.
• I took a nap.
• I watched a Cold Case Files mini-marathon for like 4 hours because I LOVE that show.
  
• I watched Project Runway because it is the one reality show I can actually handle, but only because it's done by Bravo Network, and it's about artistic design instead of just being cute people with money and problems. I'm hooked. Oh, and sincer we're on the topic of the Bravo Network, I would also like to take this opportunity to add that when I get the chance to watch, I also love Inside the Actors Studio with James Lipton, and Significant Others. BLOODY BRILLIANT! (I heart Bravo Network!)
• We are once again current.

Ok, so now we're going to take a more in-depth approach a few afforementioned topics.

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Ok, I said I was about to choke a bitch at Hi-Tops, here's why: (A tip sheet of sorts.)

1. When people are three-to-five deep at the bar waiting on a drink, this is not the time for you to start thinking you are cute so you can slide in front of me right when I get to the bar.
2. If you do decide to make the mistake of sliding in front of me, this is not the time to camp out at the bar... In fact, I advise you to get what you came for and hurry away before I have a chance to memorize what you look like so that I can track you down later and throw down.
3. If you decide to compound your previous mistake of sliding in with camping out, this is not the time to continually flip your hair in my face and pretend I'm not there, especially when I have already voiced my problem with your existence at the current place and time.

We all know that Lizzle has been in a bar fight before, and she did not lose. This might be the one time I am grateful for my current build. We all know that Lizzle will step outside, bodyslam and/or choke a bitch, and walk right back in. Please violate guidelines at your own peril.

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So now that we've covered the Saturday night perils list, let's move on to my Sunday field trip to the Art Institute. (A list of issues I have with the field trip, as well as the art institute itself)

1. I don't like having to cut any weekend evening adventure short to do school-related things... this includes field trips, some reading (though certainly not all) as well as attending things that I would not ordinarily attend on a weekend.
2. I don't like having to get up earlier than normal (Weekend wakeup time should be significantly later than school week waking. This applies to phone rules as well as school nonsense.)
   
3. I don't like being told that attendance is mandatory when in fact roll is not taken so I could totally lie and say I was there.
4. I don't like having to spend my laundry money to attend this field trip which I was told was mandatory, and thus not be able to do laundry, and also have to buy a loaf of bread entirely with dimes and pennies.
   
5. I do not like spending three and a half hours in one thirty yard span of one hallway listening to my professor drone on about the same features of the same or HIGHLY SIMILAR works of art that she has aldready, or will eventually drone on about in normal class lecture. When in doubt, say the most basic facts, open it up to questions, and let people look at what they are actually interested in.
6. Rule #5 applies especially harshly when I am only expected to listen to said professor in 50 minute stretches on a normal school day. Four times longer than standard lecture is especially unacceptable on a Sunday morning.
7. Do not act like you're teaching us something new, when you are merely reading the tags that describe each object and then re-stating the things we've already covered in class.
8. Do not repeat the same thing 9 times, even if it applies to 9 different objects... BELIEVE ME, we made it into college, we understand that culturally stylized features apply to multiple things.

Now, lets address my love-hate relationship with the Art Institute:

• Being an art student, and one who is generally appreciative of the fine arts, I LOVE going to the Art Institute.
  
• I love the different smells in the galleries that you just can't find elsewhere, sometimes it's the smell of fine paper, sometimes it's the smell of oils, or acrylics, sometimes it's the slight remainder of India Ink, or the cold stone smell that seems permanently mentally associated with big old churches and the fine marble they tend to contain. (It takes an appreciation of art and a sensitive nose to really get this one.)
  
• I love looking at all the fine details the master works that you can't see in a book.
• I love the feeling of being totally inspired and ready to create something beautiful and lasting that I get while I am at the Art Institute.
• I hate visiting the Art Institute, because while I have all those other reasons for loving it, at the same time looking at all the masterpieces makes me feel very inadequate as an artist.
• I hate it because I think you should have to know something about art in order to go and talk to people in your group about it because I am forced to listen to people who are content with their artistic ignorance. Nothing bothers me more than standing in a room full of incredible pieces of modern art, like a Jackson Pollock, and have people walk up and say, "It's just a bunch of splatters." (*Example from today: I was standing in a room looking at a Pollock today, an ignorant old woman was looking at another painting on the wall behind me... (A Mark Rothko, 4 color modern, featuring an orange ground, with 3 horizontal rectangles one purple, one red, and one white) and she was like, "Oh this one is PATRIOTIC!" I REALLY wanted to turn around and say "You are an idiot. You either need to read the tag and educate yourself, or get out of this gallery and stop breathing my air.") (This is probably the kind of comment that makes me a bad person.)
  
• I also hate the Art Institute because of the presence of kids and parents. Please don't get me wrong, I love kids, and I'm all for exposing kids to viewing artistic masterpieces, but COME ON PEOPLE! TEACH THEM about the art, don't just walk up to a Salvador Dali, a VanGogh, or a Picasso and say "Look at the pretty colors!" Try to explain to a kid what it is that they are looking at (within reason) Tell them about line, and form, and texture. EDUCATE YOUR CHILDREN, I mean if you're going to bring the kids to see the art, then you should do something to bring the art to a kid's level, even if it's just reading the tag next to a work that the kid seems to show an interest in. Engage them in some kind of thought process.
  

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In the next entry I will catch up the quotes of the day and cover the Lizzle scale for irritation. But at present it is after 2 AM and I must be going to bed so that I can get up and go to art history in the morning.

Lizzle has been delinquent with the posts this weekend. I apologize. I will post when I get back from my field trip tomorrow. I promise. (I have a lot to say. I promise you this!)

For those of you who didn't already know, it's official. I am a horrible person.
Yes, it's true, a test has confirmed that I am, in fact, not a good person. Believe it, I am a horrible person, and only 14% of the world's population are worse human beings than I am! (That includes all the murderers, rapists, child molesters, etc.) I am only in the 15th percentile of good people. That means that 85% of the people on this earth are better human beings than me. 85%!!! In addition to being a bad person I am also a VERY ineffective person. I am only in the 4th percentile of effective people. Those 3% who are accomplishing even less than me are very likely small children, 90 year old women who have never worked a day in their lives, George W. Bush, shut-ins, the mentally incompetent, people in the prison system, and coma patients... oh but even some of those guys have jobs... JEEZ!

According to this same test I am, however, a very powerful person, a very joyful person, and a very peaceful person. So let's see, that must mean that I am powerful yet ineffective, but I take great joy in it. I am not a good person, but I am peaceful... so apparently being a terrible human being hasn't led me to hostility... YET.

Now, you all know that I am the first to admit to you that I'm a horrible person, that I laugh when people fall down and slightly injure themselves (myself included because we all know I'm a bit accident prone, and once the cursing stops I generally have a good giggle at my own expense,) I laugh at people with horrible disorders like tourette's syndrome, I make fun of stupid people, and yeah, I totally roast my friends at every opportunity... but it's a whole other story to have a written test tell you that you are a sad excuse for a good, decent, compassionate human being. My ego has just taken a serious blow. There's no coming back from a real, genuine, psychological personality test telling you that you pretty much suck.

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I would like to take this chance to announce that some people never change, and I'm very glad that I noticed this once again now, rather than a short distance down the road. (Mendez gets it.)

*Note to all those of you out there, being observant DOES pay off.

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Since this won't be read until the 28th, I'll go ahead and say
HAPPY BIRTHDAY JENNIE!
(My roommate is 24 today!!!)
YAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!!!!!!!!!

Went to class, wanted to stab myself in the face because getting up that early makes me suicidal, (and if I could muster the energy, at times, homicidal) followed class with work where I talked with Nate about racism and astronomical chances with regard to first name and middle name combinations, and then I came home and took a glorious nap. That was my day, sorry if it wasn't anything refreshing and wonderful to entertain you with... But wait, no, I'm not sorry. I refuse to apologize to you for my mediocre day! What kind of selfish asshole are you to demand that I have some REALLY interesting experience so that you can be entertained. Jeez! GO STAND IN THE CORNER AND THINK ABOUT WHAT YOU'VE DONE!

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Mendez wants to kick my ass. And I can't say that I blame her. She and I conversed about boys. And basically she told me that after all this time, if I lower my standards now, she's going to cut me... and she's a Chicago-Mexican, so I believe that she has a switchblade in her cute little bag. (Her bag says I [heart] nerds!) (She's gotta be keeping her blade in her bag because lord knows she's too skinny to hide anywhere on her body.) And since she weighs 100 lbs soaking wet, I think her only chance at taking me is to be armed... but she'll sniper your ass man, she'll sneak up on you and slice your achilles! And we all know from then on out, you're fucked! And then while she's cutting out your kidneys for some weird mexican taco recipe, she'll sing happy birthday to you in spanish! Believe me! I've seen her do it!

But anyway, she basically gave me the ego boost I needed to keep going. She told me that love won't come along when I'm looking for it, it'll come along when I hate guys and am seriously considering becoming a nun. (I've been through that stage, and I didn't have a boy then either...DAMN) But anyway, Mendez, here's to you kiddo!

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QOTD
1/27/05 - "We had a diversity training luncheon today! We played DIVERSITY BINGO!" ~Pat Schultz

This semester is physically kicking my ass. (It's too early to say if this will carry over into an academic ass kicking.) I think I'd be ok if it weren't for the fact that my scheduling sucks in addition to the fact that all my classes suck. I could ordinarily handle one or the other, but not both. Both is poop. Add in work and every day nonsense like games and errands, and I'm feeling like I'm being run ragged and it's only two days into the second week of the semester. This doesn't bode well for the rest of the semester. I think maybe I need to spend some time in the jewelry lab, burn some shit, pound the hell out of some metal, relieve some stress and come away with something nice. That'll also require a supply trip to Newall which I don't want to make (nor do I have the time for) ... GRRR.

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Still no word from Dave... GRRR.

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Jen W. said tonight that she needs a new boyfriend... Yeah, she "NEEDS" a new boyfriend... I love J-dub and all, but she DOES NOT NEED a boyfriend... I NEEDED a makeout after 170 days. J-dub just WANTS a new boyfriend... THERE IS A DIFFERENCE!

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Note to self (and others who might find themselves in contact with the Men's basketball team): Do not, under any circumstances, take anything from a member of the men's basketball team if it has been in their locker room for any extended period of time. And if you absolutely must take it please take appropriate precautions such as wearing gloves or having some other form of protective barrier between you and said object. If you don't heed this warning, you will come away with a hand that smells a great deal like a dead animal. Just take my word for it.

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I caught a boy peekin at me tonight! (Why weren't the boys peekin at me 5 months ago?) Jeez, sometimes a girl just can't catch a break??

I've got a few other people interested in the book idea... While sitting at work today Jen W. came out to tell me that she also laughed quite heartily at my written retelling of the tourettes-train incident. I don't know if she was telling me so that I had the comfort of knowing that someone else would be joining me in hell for laughing at a horrible syndrome, or if it was just to keep me in good spirits about writing up other peoples' misfortunes. Either way it prompted a verbal retelling of events for those who were not present and had not read the blog... I think that while it is funny in print, it is a story better told in person, if only because the things the woman said needed the inflection in order to be just THAT MUCH funnier. (I think perhaps I've mastered some unspoken skill that makes my stories a little better than average.) But while at work Erin and I had a little discussion about reality television, it went a little something like this:

Erin: Mark your calendar! Season premiere of "Newlyweds!!"
Liz: Sorry, I don't mark my calendar for trash TV.
Erin: It's not trash! It's "NEWLYWEDS!!"
Liz: Yeah, like I said, trash TV... they are being paid millions of dollars to do what? Be themselves? OOOH THAT'S TALENT!
Erin: ...
[A few minutes after Jen W. came by and I retold the tourettes-train story]
Erin: You know, Liz, you end up in some of the funniest and strangest situations. What are you doing that causes such weird stuff to happen to you?
Liz: I don't know why these things happen around me, they just do! But I sure as hell don't see anyone offering me millions of dollars for a reality series, you know why? Because I'm an ordinary person... weird, funny shit happens to me all the time but I only get to share it with the few people who read my blog, not much in the way of huge ratings.
Erin: If I had millions of dollars, I'd finance your reality show! I'd totally watch it too! It'd be hilarious.

So, someone would be willing to spend millions of dollars to finance my reality show if they had the money... this makes me think that the book idea might actually work. I mean there are a lot of people out there who have the fifteen bucks or less that it would cost to buy my book once it goes to paperback... I'm not asking for millions to produce a reality show. And in a book you wouldn't have to wait a week for the next episode... it's all right there!

I'm comfortable with the idea of living off my book royalties, spending my money on new adventures for the next book. I could go for that! (And with the elevated profile of being a best-selling author I could also sell my paintings for a decent sum!)

This book idea is getting better and better all the time.

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I would like to note that I wore a pair of brown pants and a pink sweater to work today. Brown pants and a pink sweater... not exactly the most glamorous outfit I own, but after today I'm starting to think that I must look like a total slob the rest of the time, because I don't know if I've ever gotten so many compliments in such a short period of time for looking cute / dressing up / "being all sparkly" / etc. I'm still not sure why I was "all sparkly" (The actual compliment was, "Wow, Liz, you're all sparkly today!" and I do want it on the record that I didn't have any glittery makeup or anything on...) but anyway, I think it was a compliment. Anyway, thanks everybody for making me feel good about the wardrobe today, and question my wardrobe the rest of the time.

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QOTD
1.25.05 - [I heard this one right before we left for Florida and forgot to post it]
(Lanny was asked if there were any extra perks to doing volunteer work at the public library)
"Well, no, there aren't really many things you'd call 'perks' but I am getting all kinds of street cred with the other librarians!" ~Lanny.

1.26.05 - [Majak Kou had just walked by] (Majak is about 6' 7" and weighs approximately twelve pounds... Yes I am aware that his "Rambler profile" says 6'5" 165, but I think it's REALLY off.)
Pat Schultz: "You know he's my favorite guy named Majak. Of all the Majaks I know, he's definitely my favorite, and he's also probably the skinniest Majak I know."
Liz: "Yes, that Majak is a rather slender fellow."
Pat Schultz: "Slender? Are you kidding? The guy is a burnt pencil!"

Today was boring, you don't want to hear about it. I watched football and basketball, I stayed warm, and didn't leave the apartment. I read for anthropology and talked to Karla and Mendez. That's all. Here's the quote:

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QOTD
1.24.05
Liz: "Hey Mendez, what's your middle name?"
Mendez: "Pick one for me."
Liz: "You don't have one? AWW, how sad!"
Mendez: [hangs head] "Nope, my parents couldn't afford one... almost all of my sibs have one, but not me."

*Oh, and if you're reading this, I want to know your middle name. (That is if I don't know it already)

Here's the thing. I just want to be a good person... And I try hard, I really do. But after being good for so long, I do things that will undoubtedly have me cast into a very deep circle of hell. For example, today I was on the train, headed to work. I waited patiently in the blizzardy snow for fifty minutes for a train to show up without a word of complaint, but upon entering the train car, I knew I was gonna be faced with a challenge. I was about 8 feet away from a woman with a very serious, very real case of Tourette's Syndrome. (I've studied it some, so I know about the tics that go along with the verbal outbursts... basically I could tell what I was in for before anyone else realized what was going on.) As much as I've may have studied this disorder, and as serious as I know this is, and as much as I know it's actually quite horrible and greatly limits certain life aspects of the sufferer, I still couldn't help but smile to myself about the words coming out of this woman's mouth, and admittedy I did laugh to myself once I was no longer in her company. If it makes me a bad person for laughing because a woman yelled "FUCKING BITCH TITTIES!" and "HOW'S YOUR FEET?" and "COCK-WHORIN' CUNT" well then I'm sorry, because I laughed. I really couldn't help it. It was almost like her tic caused me to have an involuntary laughing tic. I'm sorry. Please god, don't banish me to hell for appreciating your sense of humor!

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After spending the afternoon at work today I came home and didn't really do much. I consoled a few of my volleyball boys because a few of them played really well, (and they should be proud because they played their hearts out, and that's why I love them.) Then I got back in touch with a few friends who I hadn't talked to in quite some time, and I had a lovely conversation with Karla. (Karla and I REALLY get each other... kind of the way twins have their own language, that's kinda like me and Karla.) Long story short, Karla gets it. (And she said she would SO buy my book!)

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QOTD
1.22.04 - "I usually totally hate girls cuz I'm so not like the conventional kinda girl. I just don't understand them and then Jeff reminds me that i am a girl and that i shouldn't make fun of them." ~ Karla on being reminded that she's a girl

1.23.04 -
Liz: "Oh did Alana tell you that she and I have a class together?"
Karla: "Really?"
Liz: "Yup we totally didn't even plan on it either... she walked in and it was a total shock."
Karla: "That should be fun, what class?"
Liz: "Cultural anthro."
Karla: "Do you guys sit by each other?"
Liz: "Yup."
Karla: "...and braid each other's hair?"
Liz: "Totally! And we talk about boys while we give each other manicures!"
Karla: "I wish I could do that, it would be so swell!"
Liz: "It is SWELL! We're best friends forever!"
Karla: "WOOOOOO BFFs!"

I found this yesterday, and it intrugued me. (I didn't like either candidate, so voted for Nader in Indiana... so I have no invested interest in posting this.) I just thought it was interesting, and that you deserved to see it.

Rank	State	Average IQ
1	Connecticut	113	Kerry
2	Massachusetts	111	Kerry
3	New Jersey	111	Kerry
4	New York	109	Kerry
5	Rhode Island	107	Kerry
6	Hawaii	106	Kerry
7	Maryland	105	Kerry
8	New Hampshire	105	Kerry
9	Illinois	104	Kerry
10	Delaware	103	Kerry
11	Minnesota	102	Kerry
12	Vermont	102	Kerry
13	Washington	102	Kerry
14	California	101	Kerry
15	Pennsylvania	101	Kerry
16	Maine	100	Kerry
17	Virginia	100	Bush
18	Wisconsin	100	Kerry
19	Colorado	99	Bush
20	Iowa	99	Bush
21	Michigan	99	Kerry
22	Nevada	99	Bush
23	Ohio	99	Bush
24	Oregon	99	Kerry
25	Alaska	98	Bush
26	Florida	98	Bush
27	Missouri	98	Bush
28	Kansas	96	Bush
29	Nebraska	95	Bush
30	Arizona	94	Bush
31	Indiana	94	Bush
32	Tennessee	94	Bush
33	North Carolina	93	Bush
34	West Virginia	93	Bush
35	Arkansas	92	Bush
36	Georgia	92	Bush
37	Kentucky	92	Bush
38	New Mexico	92	Bush
39	North Dakota	92	Bush
40	Texas	92	Bush
41	Alabama	90	Bush
42	Louisiana	90	Bush
43	Montana	90	Bush
44	Oklahoma	90	Bush
45	South Dakota	90	Bush
46	South Carolina	89	Bush
47	Wyoming	89	Bush
48	Idaho	87	Bush
49	Utah	87	Bush
50	Mississippi	85	Bush

I apologize to my friends. I am an utter ass. I walk out of classrooms and am in my own little world... (according to Megan this is "Disinert," though I contend that Megan makes up words and definitons.) I apologize to Chris Nelson and Krystian Krzyzak because I totally ignored them for a good 15 yards of hallway walking as they were talking to me. It finally took Krystian announcing rather loudly, "AMIGA LIIIIIIIIIIZZZZZ!!!" (they were coming from Spanish class) So sorry guys! (You know I love you!) They then proceeded to sing some Spanish song as we walked across campus. (This made me feel stupid because I remember very little Spanish.)

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As for the missing David Hurley, I got indirect word from him (through a post on his website) that he is in fact still alive and kickin' rather than lying dead in a ditch as I had previously imagined. He claims he's been super busy, though I don't know if anyone in the history of the world has ever been THAT busy. He says he'll call soon. I don't believe him. Call me a pessimist. (In unison: "Ok, Liz, you're a pessimist!") If I had to guess what is keeping David so busy, I'd say it would have to be this "Ultimate, most-awesome Christmas gift ever" that he's still tracking down... That's just my guess.

As for Christmas gifts I'm used to waiting for them (The wait for a gift from Maria is currently at 2 years, while Maggie and Marianne are standing firm at 1 year.) I've pretty much given up on ever seeing any of these gifts, but if they should one day land on my doorstep, I'll be pleasantly surprised. I still love you guys anyway though! You're my friends, and that's what's important!

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This little thing gave me a good chuckle... I'll be damned if I could tell you why. What can I say, I'm kinda weird. I hope you see it and laugh as well. (That will make me feel less weird.)

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For those of you suffering along with me, or possibly as a direct result of me, (though I suffered as a direct result of Jeff,) I would like to tell you a bit about Zicam. Zicam is the stuff you see advertised on TV as the medicine that you can take when you first feel yourself getting sick to shorten the length of your cold. My lovely roommate Jennifer had some sample packets, and she was willing to share her samples with me in order to shorten/minimize my suffering. For her generosity, I thank her. Zicam however should come with the following warning label: "Warning: This will shorten the length of your cold, but in the process it WILL melt away the insides of your nostrils!" I speak from experience here.

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Jeff is a yard ape. (This will prevent him from ever being a member of the scuba squad!)

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I have given up on track of the day. Not because I have run out of good songs, (Believe me, I've got THOUSANDS!) but because I have gotten no feedback on the matter, I've had no suggestions on songs to include, no indication that anyone has listened to anything I've recommended, etc.

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QOTD
1.20.05 (Kerry and I talking about our anthropology professor)
Liz: "Hey, Ker, I went to ratemyprofessors.com and looked this lady up. From what I gather she's a little funny about people leaving to go to the bathroom."
Kerry: "Weird."
Liz: "I also noted that she got a few votes for being "Hot" ... I'm just a heterosexual girl, but personally, I don't see it."
Kerry: "Nope, I'm not seeing it either... maybe she went on there and voted "hot" for herself. Besides, she's got limp hair!"

1.21.05 -
Liz: "Hey Alana, that boy back there, he's the one I used to have a crush on."
Alana: "I figured that out!! You know, ordinarily I suck at putting 2 and 2 together, but I actually got that one!"

As a person with an invested interest in the field of psychology, I found this little "oreo study" quite amusing. (I think you will too!)

Psychologists have discovered that the manner in which people eat Oreo cookies provides great insight into their personalities. Choose which method best describes your favorite method of eating Oreos:

1. The whole thing all at once.
2. One bite at a time.
3. Slow and methodical nibbles, examining the results of each bite afterwards.
4. In little feverous nibbles.
5. Dunked in some liquid (milk, coffee...).
6. Twisted apart, the inside, then the cookie.
7. Twisted apart, the inside, and toss the cookie.
8. Just the cookie, not the inside.
9. I just like to lick them, not eat them.
10. I don't have a favorite way because I don't like Oreos.

Scroll Down to find your results...

Your Personality:

1. The whole thing: This means you consume life with abandon, you are fun to be with, exciting, carefree with some hint of recklessness. You are totally irresponsible. No one should trust you with their children.

2. One bite at a time: You are lucky to be one of the 5.4 billion other people who eat their Oreos this very same way. Just like them, you lack imagination, and are just one of the herd.

3. Slow and Methodical: You follow the rules. You're very tidy and orderly. You're very meticulous in every detail with everything you do to the point of being anal retentive. Most people hate you.

4. Feverous Nibbles: Your boss likes you because you get your work done quickly. You always have a million things to do and never enough time to do them. Mental breakdowns and suicides run in your family. Megadoses of Prozac and Valium are called for. Now!

5. Dunked: Everyone likes you because you are always upbeat. You like to sugar coat unpleasant experiences and rationalize bad situations into good ones. You are in total denial about the shambles you call a life.

6. Twisted apart, the inside, and then the cookie: You have a highly curious nature. You take pleasure in breaking things apart to find out how they work, though you are not always able to put them back together, so you destroy all the evidence of your activities. You deny your involvement. You are a compulsive liar and exhibit deviant, if not criminal, behavior.

7. Twisted apart, the inside, and then toss the cookie: You are good at business and take risks that pay off. You take what you want and throw the rest away. You are greedy, selfish, mean, and lack feelings for others. You should be ashamed of yourself.

8. Just the cookie, not the inside: You enjoy pain. And I'm pretty sure you have herpes.

9. I just like to lick them, not eat them: Stay away from small furry animals and seek psychological help - immediately.

10. I don't have a favorite way, I don't like Oreo cookies: You probably come from a rich family, and like to wear nice things, and go to up-scale restaurants. You are particular and fussy about the things you buy, own, and wear. You are a priss.

I thought that it was time for me to post again. I have a class with 300+ pages of reading a week, and I have not started, but oh well, it's time for some thoughts from Madison.

First, I would like to mention that I have never had a class where attendence did not count. Indeed, it always comprises some percentage of my grade. I had a class of 150 (this is medium sized at Madison, I have a class of 300 this semester, and have had one as large as 600, but I digress) and even in a class of 150, with no discussion section, attendence mattered. Perhaps, my dear Liz, mandatory attendence is good for you.

Now, on to what is actually happening in my life. I, like Liz, graduate in May. I have never been more terrified of anything in my entire life. I don't have any job prospects lined up, and honestly, I don't know what I want to be when I grow up. I think that I want to live in Chicago or DC. I think I want to work in politics. I know that I want to change the world. But I now realize those things are difficult to do with merely a bachelor's. Which is crap I tell you. When did a degree stop being enough? Furthermore, the other day I asked an instructor, who I know quite well, for a recommendation. His response was sure, but I need to give him an academic resume. What the hell is that? I'll tell you what it is: one more stressful thing I have to do before I graduate. Basically, I need to summarize what I have done in the past 4 years and make it look better than it actually was. For example: Volunteer work. I happen to be a very good babysitter of drunks. Does that count?

Well, of course there is more. But I realize now that it getting late, and I have to read about globalizations's impact on the third world's population increase (interesting, yes. does it help me get a job? no.)

Ciao for now.

Oh, quick side note: I have had 2 wonderful though drastically different movie experience in the past 2 months. One: Napoleon Dynamite. I have never laughed so hard. Two: Hotel Rwanda. I cried the whole way through. But I loved it. It was absolutely amazing.

An epiphany of sorts.

I have actually known this one was coming for quite some time. This has been one of those slow moving ideas that kind of rolls around in your head like a little snowball, and after it rolls around for a little while, it gets bigger and bigger, and it includes more and more information, until all of a sudden it falls off a cliff and SPLAT, it lands right on your noggin.

This particular revelation has to do with relationships. (Friendships, romantic relationships, etc.) and it took an episode of Sex and the City to cause the SPLAT. (SPLAT being the ultimate epiphany.)

I've been formulating this for quite some time. I looked at my successful friendships. I looked at the friendships of people around me, (the friendships of my friends with other people which I found hard to understand). I looked at the successful romantic relationships of people around me (as I obviously don't have any successful romantic relationships to speak of at the moment, or for quite some time for that matter...) And I think I've figured it out. I think I know what it is that makes it all work... the thing that holds all the real relationships together. It's not sex, it's not money, it's not sharing the pursuit of a common goal. Although all of these things can be found in certain successful relationships, that's not what makes them work.

So, what is it then? What holds it all together? What keeps us coming back to people for love, friendship, etc? I'll tell you. It's the understood knowledge (whether we realize it or not) that being with this person, this friend, this significant other, makes us better. It's not that they complete us, it's not that they make us feel better about ourselves, it is that being with this person makes us better because being in their company brings out the best in us.

We are that much better because we are understood, we are not judged. We are that much more easily able to laugh or to smile. We are supported when we need help, and we are told the ugly truth when that's what we need (even if it might not be what we want to hear).

So there it is. My advice to you. Go where the wind blows you, be who you are, and surround yourself with people who allow you to be you, and make you feel better for being no more or no less than what you are. Keep close ties with those who make you better, and let the rest go. The rest is just unnecessary baggage. It's money, and things, and goals, they blind us from what's really important, just being us, and being the best versions of us we can be, and cultivating the relationships with those who make us better. Because in the end it's not about the things we owned in life, the wealth we amassed, but rather it's about the lives we touched and the people we cherished.

The relationship might not be the prettiest thing to an outsider, then again, it might be deceptively pretty and simple, but then again the reality of the insides can also be dramatically different than the outside might appear. It may be impossible to comprehend for anyone who doesn't know it on an intimate level, but that doesn't matter. All that matters is that unspoken understanding that exists inside the safe confines of the relationship itself. The unspoken knowledge that this other person makes you just THAT MUCH better.