Christmas pics...

Ok, so I've been promising you all some pictures for quite some time now... And with the recent pictures of the stinkies, I merely served the appetizer. I've been storing up pictures for a while now... Case in point, here are the pictures from Tarreck's family Christmas party.


You know those colossal snow globes that most people would only put out in the front yard... Yeah, well, seeing as it's a party, Tarreck put it in the foyer.


We might all be family, but that doesn't mean we don't harass each other as much as possible, and we start the harassment young!


Yep, those are all either alcoholic beverages, or some form of non-alcoholic mixer which was shortly mixed with alcohol...


A little Wii bowling keeps the kids quiet... But the "kids" are widely ranging in age at this shindig.



The young-uns are expected to entertain themselves in a corner...


And they did, at the expense of tidiness. (But really, all zebras need a little popcorn!)


And here sits the popcorn cleanup crew.


Yeah, that's Santa, a sleigh, a tree, and a few reindeer in one giant inflatable musical thingy ordinarily reserved for lawn use... Tarreck just puts it on the back porch.


Tamara is big pimpin' on her phone.


Time to bust out the party games!


Tamara explains the rules!


They seem confused. But we still love them!


Moving back to the Wii, just look at this follow-through! (Actually, he damn near broke his thumb by busting it on the coffee table shortly thereafter!)


Tarreck is big pimpin... Kinda.


We had to create a Grammy on the Wii.


And this one is my Aunt Peggy...


And then it was time for a little pay-per-view boxing... It was fight night!


Mayweather won, in case you care and are somehow really behind the times!


Then it was time for poker and pool!


But Tarreck wanted to show off his ballin' skillz, and decided he's going to represent Palestine in the 2008 Olympics!


That about sums up the Christmas party... The New Year's party was much more adult in nature... Those pictures are still to come!

Picture pages!!!!!

Debbie calls all the kiddos in her life her stinkies. I think that is just so perfect a term for all the great little kiddos I have the privilege of calling family... So I'm gonna D-BO the term and show off the adorable little stinkies in my life!

Here's Brandon, rocking his new free t-shirt!


Keegan is a a boy with a healthy appetite. As you can see, he's not one of those "failure to thrive" babies!


Keegan is showing off the dinner which made it on his face, rather than in his mouth!


Nicholas and Olivia play remarkably well with each other.


Olivia was really excited about showing off her static-y hair!


Occasionally Nicholas still picks on his little sis though! (But as you can see, she doesn't really mind!)


Parker just cracks me up!


Olivia wanted to share her pink snowman jammies with the world!!!


While not a member of the stinkies, Cousin Eric started it... It was all downhill from here!


Kim and Olivia got in on the fun!


And they hammed it up for the camera!


Parker was rocking his forehead stamp... He was so proud that he could make it move by wiggling his eyebrows!


And while he's not TECHNICALLY family, he might as well be! Here's little Caden, only hours old at the time, he's now a little more than three months! Can you believe it!

Cody wanted to show off his Halloween costume (though not on Halloween.) As a little monkey, he was soooo excited about pulling his own tail!


And Tyler was rocking his cowboy boots, which really kind of complete the Ninja Turtle ensemble if you as me!

Hey, Cody needed a good tickle!


Cody is rockin' the wellies, while Tyler tells everyone about his gift card!

So that's it, those are my stinkies! (Aren't they just too frickin adorable!?!?)

Now that I've finally taken the time to download all my pictures to my computer, you can expect more picture posts VERY soon! (I'm overdue!)

Myyyyy Bellllllllyyyyyy.....

Read that title in the best whiny-complain-y tone you can manage, either out loud, or just in your head.

That whiny-complain-y tone is really all I can muster lately, and it's all I can reasonably think of while trying to work this week.

Monday was supposed to be a day off for me... Instead, I had the dubious honor of spending like 5 hours with a client and ended up taking her to the hospital because that's what goes with the territory of being on call 24-7.

Tuesday and Wednesday were total losses because of an ice storm which kept all of us home. Today I went back to work, but having lost two days, pushing things around to ensure that everyone gets seen becomes quite a chore. And that's not even the half of it.

To boot, I haven't felt like myself lately.

Tuesday and Wednesday I was totally lethargic, (which is kind of normal for a snow day if you ask me,) but I have no kind of energy (I mean laying around was the best I could manage for two days, but sleeping was the ideal... no matter how much sleep I'd already gotten,) I haven't been hungry, or able to eat... Something is up!

Thursday was the first time I could manage anything resembling an appetite. But it was one of those weird appetites where no matter how hungry I felt, nothing sounded good, and I could already tell that whatever was going in was not going to do the trick... And so I put off eating until I was literally so hungry that I nearly vomited. (Seems counterintuitive, I know, but that was the literal sensation, complete with retching.) And so I ate, and just as I had suspected, while it didn't come up, it didn't sit well, and so I had a sour tummy all day!

Several hours later, when it was appropriate to consume another meal, it was another round of totally lacking any kind of appetite, but since I knew I was due for a meal, I tried to eat something, even if it was just something light... A half a can of soup, and some peach slices later, I once again have that nauseated sensation, this time accompanied by an overstuffed sensation which is hardly something I expected as a result of consuming a half a can of soup and a few sliced peaches...

Again, I say, SOMETHING IS UP!

I'm just whining... Pay no attention to me.

Nerd post...

Ok, so by the end of this brief post, you're either going to think I'm a total nerd, or you're going to respect my opinion and review of a product, and consider making a purchase for yourself!

Ok, so I'm not one to go totally overboard on self-indulgent purchases, and if I had paid full price for this item, I'm sure I would have felt that it would have been closer to an overly self-indulgent purchase... But seeing as I paid roughly 25% of the retail cost, I thought of it more as a wise investment.

So, about a week ago, my mom called to say that her office had gotten a promotional rate on the latest, fancy, high-end super toothbrush. She said if I wanted to, I could also take advantage of the ridiculously good discount. So I did.

And here's where I turn into a huge nerd.

I gotta tell you, it's more than just a toothbrush! It's this toothbrush. (Go ahead... Go see EXACTLY what we're talking about here... I'll wait.)

Back? GREAT!

So now that you know the specifics of what we're talking about, let me just say, HOLY MOLY!

For those of you who have decided you don't want your mouth to look like that of Amy Winehouse (or the mouth of your favorite neighborhood dumpster-dwelling hobo) at any point in your lifetime, I am guessing that you've probably seen a dentist in the not TOO distant past. And while you're probably not a total masochist and most likely find all the poking and prodding of your dentist and or hygienist pretty unpleasant, I'm guessing that you probably do enjoy that super clean feeling in your mouth when all is said and done. Well, using this contraption, I just gotta tell you that this is like getting that super clean feeling WITHOUT all the poking and prodding.

And while I haven't been back to the dentist since beginning use of this product, I have heard that using it does REDUCE the poking and prodding necessary during dental visits. Reducing the need for someone to inflict pain on you is always a wise investment if you ask me.

If you pay any attention to what a bunch of doctors conducting research have to say on the matter, then making an investment in your dental health now, can save your ass down the road... In more ways than one. So there's always that.

Like I said, it's entirely possible that I am just a huge nerd who is getting WAYYYY too excited about an overpriced toothbrush, but as I see it, I am just a relatively normal person trying to get the word out on something that will improve your life in both the short term AND the long term pictures!

And since you know that I love you, my dear readers, I'm choosing to believe that I'm just looking out for your hot asses! For real.

Dear Traci...

I was having a conversation with my friend Traci about the state of affairs which seems to be our life at the moment. (She also works at my office.) I indicated that after growing up in my hometown, I moved to Chicago for a very distinct reason... I didn't want to be HERE. As you all know, I left Chicago, because I needed the job, and as hard as I was pushing, it just wasn't coming in Chicago. Basically, I'm of the belief that (at least as far as Chicago goes,) if you don't know someone to get a toe in the door, you're pretty well screwed... I am not bitter about this fact, but I am holding true to my belief that is actual FACT.

We talked about our desire to pursue opportunities elsewhere. We talked about how much we feel the need for some kind of change... Be it internally in our office or externally from some more massive change.

And then Traci said it.

She uttered the words which so accurately captured my sentiments about my hometown, my workplace, my life...

"This place is just a festering cesspool of mediocrity."

She gets quote of the month for February. I don't care what else is said, that sentiment was just too perfect a line to encapsulate how I feel about this place to possibly be unseated as the head of the table for February.

I dare you to compete.

I think it's an alien...

No, I'm not talking about little Suri Cruise, but I am definitely referring to a small child.

I am currently working, supervising a visit. The visit is scheduled to be 2.5 hours long. The first half an hour went smoothly. From then on, one of the kids has been screeching.

SCREECHING.

S.C.R.E.E.C.H.I.N.G.

We've still got an hour left of this mess, and this kid is crying and making that alien noise that little kids are spectacularly good at. Seriously, he sounds A LOT like E.T. It's one thing when it only lasts a few minutes, this has been going on for over an hour, and I'm starting to understand why the parents did drugs... I'd do drugs too if that was all I heard all damn day... Oh wait, that IS what I hear all damn day. Silly Lizzle!

On whatever day that I no longer work in this position, whether through retirement, firing, quitting, or whatever, I am going to have to go on the biggest drug binge ever. You might as well just keep an eye out for Amy Winehouse, because by the time she sobers up, I'll be WASTED all the time like she is now... Only I plan on bathing, maintaining my current tooth count, and not sporting a beehive. Ok, so that makes me more like umm... Well, all the total wastoids I can think of don't tend to bathe, so maybe I'll have to settle for not being a total train wreck and just be a functional recreational drug user like Charlize Theron... Either way, the alien screeching of other people's children will not go without remuneration as far as I'm concerned. I just have to wait it out until I don't have the possibility of random drug screenings threatening my income.

A good day.

I have to say that I had a good day today as far as the first day back from vacation can go.

I opened my mailbox to find that not only did my replacement bank card arrive while I was away, I also got word about my "reckless driving" ticket.

I saw the envelope marked "County Prosecutor's Office" and put off opening it. I had monthly reports to turn in, and just really wasn't in the mood, so I left it in my car unopened as I went into the office to get my ass in gear.

Coming out of the office in order to see a client, I had a few extra minutes, so I figured I might as well open it up and find out what the damage was so that I knew just how much of my tax refund to earmark for the fine and diversion program to keep this stupidity off my record... I had a feeling it was going to be several hundred dollars based on earlier calls to inquire about what I was possibly looking at.

Turning my attention to the text before me, I was more than a little shocked with what I encountered. (Aside from the omission of full names, this is a direct transcription of the letter.)

"Dear Reckless Driving Liz, (They used my real name, but c'mon, you know they wanted to say that.)

Today is your lucky day. The officer who cited you for reckless driving has not, and will not be turning your ticket in. This means that you will not have to appear for court, the citation will not appear on, or effect your record, and you will not be responsible for paying a fine. May we suggest that in thanksgiving for this, that you consider slowing down a little. Happy Valentine Day. We appreciate your rapid attention to this matter and cooperation throughout this matter."

To get a letter from a prosecutor's office which leads off with, "This is your lucky day," while slightly unprofessional, is more than a little bit pleasant! It's not every day that the prosecutor's office tells you that you're getting lucky, lets you off the hook, and then wishes you a happy Valentine's day. This is so not the way my luck typically runs, so this is a VERY BIG deal for me!

It's nice to have a little good luck for a change!

My ass is back... And I have a feeling it will be dragging all week.

Well, I'm back from vacation... And what a rude awakening I had when I returned.

I was all relaxed and mellowed out, and upon landing and driving home from the airport, I came to the crushing conclusion that I could no longer put off my monthly reports, since they are due today. Damn.

It's almost 2 AM, and I've got a lot of work to do... I'll have to tell you about my vacation later if I plan on getting any kind of sleep tonight! I hate to say it, but I've got to get down to business and get some work done!

The wine helps...

Trying to be excited about vacation while trying to settle unnerved feelings about the loss of a friend even younger than I am, and contemplating serious changes in the work-life, well, it's all a very delicate balancing act. And let's point out the obvious...

Nothing helps a balancing act like a good bottle of wine.

...Let alone a bottle of wine consumed alone...

...Without bothering to dirty a glass...

...Because I've already packed, and drinking solves all problems... Just ask my clients!

Sadness.

I found out that I lost a friend Monday. Anthony "Big Twin" Smith passed away after battling leukemia.

Tuesday would have been his 25th birthday.

Anthony was always good for a laugh. If he wasn't running late for practice he would always stand around the cage for a few minutes to chat. He was genuine, caring, and charismatic.

He will be missed.

Eff the library!

When I'm in a funk, one of my simple pleasures in life is buying books. Even if I'm running a little low on cash, I immensely enjoy going into book stores and finding something on a sale rack which can occupy me for hours. I mean I'd happily skip a meal to buy a good book... A good book feeds you more. And while I could probably find them for free at the library, or cheaper on Amazon if I was willing to wait for it to be shipped out, there is something so thrilling to me about going into the store, thumbing the pages, reading the synopsis on the dust jacket, eventually buying a good book, calling it my own, and never having to return it.

That's one of the really great things about a vacation. I have a built-in excuse to go and track down a good deal on a couple of those books I've had my eye on. I mean, since I'm going to visit family, there is the distinct possibility that I won't have a great deal of time for reading, because when you've been away as long as I have, everyone wants a piece of you, but even if you only read on the plane, you've spent a portion of your vacation reading. And since I derive pleasure from purchasing books, and I was buying books for vacation, a little piece of my vacation started today!

What kind of fool do you take me for?

So on Friday I got my W-2... I looked at it and unlike most people I was aghast.

I know that when I've looked at W-2s in the past, I've thought to myself, "Damn! I made all that? Where the hell did it all go?" This year, that was not the sentiment. I looked down at the total I made, and nearly wept... "That's all I made? Normally I'd ask where it all went, but I know where that measly little pittance went."

And the more I thought about it the more upset I got. You see, part of my job is driving around all day. So I have to track my mileage. But the office doesn't pay me for that. They expect me to write it off on my taxes... Well, being that I am a single person, and I have very few tax liabilities, I don't pay in all that much, and as far as the mileage goes, I can't get back what I don't pay in. And when I totaled it up using last year's figures for how much a mile is worth, well, I figure I'm giving away a LARGE part of my annual salary every year. (We're talking the equivalent of about three months pay.)

The more worrying matter is that on the same day as all this happened, I found myself in a situation where I was being asked to put myself in harm's way. I was being asked to do a supervised visit with a dad and his son. This seems perfectly normal and all until I came to find out that the dad had called the foster placement and threatened to kidnap his child and threatened physical violence against the foster placement... Yeah. So this guy wants to abduct his kid, and seems to have no problem with issuing a beat down to someone standing in his way.

I was not pleased with this scenario.

The office offered to give me someone to assist with the visit. But the person that they offered me was someone who has only been doing this job for about two weeks. Umm... I'm sorry. No. If we're going to do this at all, (which I wanted it on record that I felt was totally stupid, and in need of serious reconsideration,) at least give me someone who I know has proven the ability to handle themselves in threatening situations... Not some kid who is still wet behind the ears.

When you have to process all of this on the same day, it makes you reconsider a lot. I mean I know this is not an industry you get into for the sake of making money. This business is about fixing families because you care about people and want to better their lives. Yeah... So I have vacation this week. I'll be in Alabama visiting family from Thursday through Monday. And while I'm vacationing, I'll be contemplating the utter folly of my pay rate for the tasks I am asked to achieve.

It isn't appealing, no matter how you slice it. I'm making some calls, thinking too much, and contemplating some tough decisions ahead.

Crap.

Trainwreck...

Yeah, you saw the title, and if you're anything like me, the first thing you thought of was one of two things, and since Amtrak has the better PR people lately, I'm guessing that Britney Spears is at the top of that short list, and the only other possible contender for the top spot would be the entire Bush administration... And even with all they've done to fuck up over the course of the last seven years, even they have better spin control and PR than Brit.

The folks who know me well (and even some who don't know me all that well,) know that I am a quasi-celebrity-gossip-whore. I say "quasi" because I don't have a subscription to any of those tabloid magazines, but I admit to happily scanning the covers when in the checkout lane. And while CNN is my homepage, after scanning the real news headlines, I do admit that my first stop away from the homepage is D-listed.

Since that is the case, I think it goes without saying that the Britney debacle has been pretty much inescapable, even by those who don't pay attention to the celebrity trash gossip. Unless you're particularly dense, you've picked up on the fact that I work in the social service industry. We gossip heads at the office have our own take on the whole thing. We chat, we jokingly assign therapists, parent aides, and visitation facilitators to the case... I mean it might seem callous of us to spend our free time poking fun at such an easy target, but then again, it's not every day that we have such a well-known person who seems all to happy to easily dive into the ol' possible client pool.

I mean sure, we are all horrified when she endangered her kid by driving with him on her lap and got away with it by saying, "Oh, that's how we did it back home, because we're just country, y'all!" That was just the earliest well-known misstep in a loooooooooong stream of fumbling attempts at "parenting." (I put parenting in quotes, because I'm really not sure if what she has done in the last 2.5 years really qualifies.) And while I can't attest to the stringency of standards for child care in the state of California because I don't work there, I can tell you this, going by the standards I know, she should've lost those kiddos a very long time ago. And as for all these hearings and whatnot, I am appalled that she has been to court as many times as she has, (and I'm NOT counting all the other hearings that she no-showed for,) because when I see folks feebly trying to defend her by saying, "Oh every parent screws up from time to time, it just seems like a bigger deal because she's a celebrity and she's photographed all the time" well statements like that make me want to punch those people in the face. (And contrary to popular belief, I'm not one to rush to violence.) The fact is that there are plenty of celebrity parents who have managed to raise their children without a need for the department of child services. I mean even Michael Jackson kept his kids out of the system... That example alone should show you that they've got a very low standard to meet to be deemed a capable parent. And her celebrity status cuts both ways, because while she it sucks for her that she was caught publicly screwing up with her kiddos in tow by the paparazzi, I can promise that the average-joe-level parent has to wait months for a hearing regarding changes or increases in visitation. And they certainly had to be more compliant than loony ol' baldy over there to get any kind of visits.

I know that we all have more important things to worry about than the latest Spears shenanigans, but the fact is that we as a country like to see people royally fuck up... We love a soap-operatic story line to play out in the public view for us to see. For a lot of us it is just time-wasting entertainment, and in this case, it's more of a truth being stranger than fiction in an almost, "I couldn't write this stuff if I was a former staff writer on Passions! What the hell comes next!?!?" type of fascination. And yes, it is a shame that her kids will have to grow up with this, knowing that everyone saw their mom's baloney flaps, her head-shaving meltdown, the frap-fueled insanity, the appalling British accent, and everything else, and you know that the classmates will be laughing AT them and not WITH them. I do feel bad for the kids, and I do hope that things improve for them, I have to say that I don't feel any kind of empathy for Britney, because like so many people I work with, she just doesn't seem to genuinely care, and that makes me resent her.

Consider it from this point of view. Even if you don't have children, if you can imagine having kids, and you can imagine having them taken away by "The Man" for whatever reason, even if it's a bogus trumped up accusation by a resentful ex or something, can you honestly tell me that you would not be doing EVERYTHING in your power to prove yourself capable and get your kids back as quickly and painlessly as possible? (You're insides are screaming, "OF COURSE I would do everything I had to!" ... I know this because that's the rational part of your brain at work.) You would be taking every parenting class, every drug test, every court hearing, every single thing pertaining to the case VERY seriously. You would return every phone call, you would be thirty minutes early for every scheduled visit, you would take a pass on going out to be photographed at Hyde or at the local 7-11, because you want your damn kids back, and you don't want to do anything to jeopardize that! Because you have it in you to be a good parent, or you already are one.

So every time you catch yourself reading a headline about America's favorite trainwreck, and think to yourself, "Jesus-God! What the hell is she doing, why doesn't she just get her act together?" Just think of me, because I have the privilege of working with non-compliant people just like her EVERY. SINGLE. DAY.

Get your ass to the ER!

Ok, so if we're related, if you haven't already checked yourself in, you're probably going to be in the hospital in the next few days... At least that's what'll happen if the current trend continues!

First it was grandpa and his broken elbow.

Then it was my eldest sister with a ruptured cyst causing her to bleed into her abdomen, and require surgery.

Then my other older sister gets hit by an idiot running a red light, totaling her car and requiring a hospital stay and an epidural to control the pain in her back...

Now momma isn't feeling so sparky, but she thinks she'll live, and I've been nursing what feels like a seriously pulled muscle in my ass for a few days. Basically, we're all just falling apart.

To add insult to injury, I quit smoking on Friday, (I didn't smoke heavily to begin with, but just enough to notice a difference in my demeanor when quitting, which adds another reason to jump on that wagon,) and I lost my debit card on Saturday.

Losing one's debit card when working with the degenerates I have the dubious pleasure of calling my clients REALLY challenged my commitment to the quitting smoking thing. I admit I wanted one when I stressed out because I couldn't find it. I admit to wanting another when I had to retrace my steps in bitter cold and still couldn't find it. ...And then had to call the folks in India who handle the outsourced call load to Visa because apparently my bank's telephone doesn't get answered on weekends, and having to speak VERY SLOWLY, VERY CLEARLY, and having to spell everything out anyway, I admit that I wanted more than one when struggling with that mess! But I didn't give in. Largely because I had only checks to pay for things, and when I called my mom to tell her that I needed Dr. Pepper to get through the cravings, and that if I were to go to a gas station or grocery store to get Dr. Pepper, and I had to use a check, there is no way that Dr. Pepper would be the only thing I'd be buying because at this point my dedication had been challenged to the upper limits, and momma being the wonderful woman that she is, she braved the cold, brought me Dr. Pepper, and prevented me from further polluting my lungs. (YAY MOMMA!)

Based on the current trend though, I'm expecting to either hack up a lung anyway, or be diagnosed by some doctor on the street with emphysema by random chance... Either way, I'm glad that my insurance premiums are paid up.

Leave the bloggin' to the Emo kids...

I know I don't post nearly as regularly as I should. I don't post with the quality that I was once known for. But I'm holding the the idea that now that I'm at my current job, and I can't make much of my work day public knowledge, despite the fact that I am amassing a HUGE cache of quality bar room stories, on a personal level, I'm becoming boring. I'd like to say that there was more to it than that, but there really doesn't seem to be.

I've noticed that many of my favorite bloggers have been posting less and less. Some have quit the business altogether. I haven't updated my sidebar in forever, and a few of those links are deader than Jack Kennedy. It's a disturbing trend.

No, I don't intend to quit blogging, but I'm trying to work out a way that I can let you in on the interesting points of my life without violating any kind of confidentiality contract. I have also noted that I've just gotten lazy. I've got tons of pictures that I keep intending to post, but just haven't because it just seems like too much of a hassle to go get my camera, download all the pictures to the computer, edit them as needed, and then upload them one at a time to ensure some kind of remotely plausible timeline in a post. It just tires me to think about it.

I have also noted the disturbing trend of bloggers who were once prolific posters, suddenly settling themselves into stable relationships and BAM the posting numbers start to tank. Furthermore, the quality of the posts began to wane because they seem to care more about the quality time with their significant others rather than the reading pleasure of their readership! (What a bunch of selfish assholes!) I, selflessly as ever, have remained terminally single, but have just started to suck. And please don't take offense if you recognize yourself in any of this, or if by taking offense you intend to step up your game, then by all means, IT'S YOU! YOU NEED TO GET BACK ON IT, BECAUSE WE'RE TIRED OF YOUR LAME ANTICS!

And while we're on the topic, if you're going to go into hiding, making your blog all private and such, you need to let a sister know! Because some of my favorite blogs are suddenly out of reach because I haven't warranted an invitation in some CRAZY oversight! I mean I respect your right to keep certain things private, and to grant and deny access to the masses, but I feel the snub when I've been reading your stuff from the word go, and all of a sudden, probably for lack of recent commenting activity on my part, now I can't get my regular fix of your saga. That's like a TV network saying, "Hey, we know you've gotten really hooked on this great show over the course of time, but we thought about it, and since you never provided us with some kind of commercial revenue, we're going to take it to a premium channel, and you can't buy it, you've got to have an invitation to receive it... Sorry about your bad luck... We're going to keep putting out this awesome product, but we're tired of your freeloding ass!"

And as far as commenting goes, yeah, I've been freeloading lately. Totally and completely my fault on that one! I mean yeah, I've still been lurking about, reading the blogs I have access to, but no, I'm not commenting on everything the way I used to. Since I know that bothers some of you, I have also not complained about the lack of commenting here... What's good for the goose is good for the gander, so I have no right to demand comments from places where I don't comment all that frequently. I know it's a give and take thing.

So I am content to leave the daily posting to the gossip bloggers and those folks who follow politics or the Britney Spears train wreck a little too closely. One of these days, I'll stage my comeback, and you'll wonder how it was possible that I could have ever sucked this badly... But by then I'll be a champion archive editor, and these posts won't exist in their current form, so there!

If you want daily posting, go talk to that D-bag John Mayer, or some emo kid. I'm going to retain a little bit of my writing integrity and not compose a 673 post dissertation on WHY John Mayer is a D-bag...

Vacation is coming up soon though... So maybe the batteries will be recharged after that!

Well, that's a new feeling...

So... for as much as I talk to people around my office, I finally had coworkers who don't live in my complex over to my house. They noted a couple of things.

1) They noted that my apartment is a very "adult" home. The highlights were things I already knew. The furniture is not second-hand, and the decor is decidedly not that of a college student. -Despite the fact that I know I have invested a great deal of time, money, and effort into ensuring that I no longer have a collegiate or juvenile home environment, I still like having that reassurance.

2) Secondly, we discussed MANY coworker issues around the office. We noted that one member of the staff is a HUGE closet case. We talked about a fabled firing. We talked about certain cases, and about coworkers who make advances at us, despite marriage vows, and we talked about coworkers who have other assorted issues. It was nice to know that I wasn't the only one who felt this way about a certain group of people... Reassuring in a certain way. Before now, I've only had the feedback of a very prudish and reserved coworker who happens to live in very close proximity to me and therefore was the only person who made their way over to my abode, and that opinion wasn't the most reliable or widespread, so it was nice to get another couple of views from the office on the dynamics of everything.

Do I have to be working at 8:30 in the morning? Sure! But it is 2:30AM, and I find it more important to tell you about this newfound outlet I have... What does that tell you? I don't know if that means I've been functioning totally dysfunctionally for the last 11months and now have a healthy vent to brag about, but the fact remains that I would rather short-sheet my own sleep in order to tell you guys about my new vent who can legally hear about all of my coworker AND case related bullshit, but it excites me immensely... and I have invited them over in an open manner. (Short of giving them my keys, I don't know how to tell them that I want them here as much as possible.)

It's just a new feeling, and a liberating one, so I wanted to share it with all of you. (Especially since it came at such a fortuitous moment in my life outside of work.) I mean, I know that writing here, and engaging in a dialogue with you in the form of comments (Not you Jay/RZV, you're a narcissistic ass lately, we know it's all about you.... JK) but the fact is that it's nice to be able to sit and drink in one's own home, and really delve into the minutiae of one's case load and to discuss one's fellow coworkers ad nauseam without fear of repercussions.

Poor grandpa looked pitiful tonight. He looked as though he had been taken in a back alley and beaten with a Louisville slugger. If it weren't for the fact that he admitted to having difficulties making it to the bathroom in time, I'd have made assumptions that he was still the same cantankerous shitbag, but since the evening played out the way it did, I actually do feel some compassion and pity for the man, despite how he has treated me in the past. It turns out I have one of those stupid "giving" hearts after all. Damn it all to hell!

Sorry... Again.

Ok, so we all know that I suck lately anyway. I don't blog all that frequently, and when I do, I'm a total bore. Well, for the time being things are going to probably get a little worse.

You see, my curmudgeonly grandfather fell while walking home from church earlier this week, and broke his elbow. As a result, he's got a screw holding his arm together, and he's in a cast from shoulder to fingertip. My mother, (god bless her!) has been doing everything she can to this point just to keep him relatively contented and civil to the hospital staff. But he should be coming home tomorrow, and that means he's going to need more than a little extra supervision and assistance. Being the good daughter I am, I have offered my services during any period of time not occupied by a supervised visit or other appointment which impacts my paycheck. (I'd have offered more than that, but my paychecks have been ugly lately due to a couple of case closures and a whole lot of parental no-shows, so I need the hours and resulting dough to pay my rent.) I am also not volunteering my evening hours because they are spent petrifying my liver... Lord knows I am earning it lately.

In other news, ... Oh who am I kidding, I don't have any other news.

I just like that story...

I went out and bought the movie SOLELY because I wanted to own this clip in the event that the movie production companies catch up with youtube and tell bitches to delete it...

For your viewing pleasure, and hopefully to give you some insight as to what I want to be when I grow up:

I should write the headlines...

I knew how tonight was going to play out. Being a sports fan, (particularly a fan of college athletics,) I saw this one coming. I've had numerous conversations with my fellow sports fans and I've said for WEEKS that despite my Ohio State fandom, I knew they wouldn't stand a chance against LSU.

That being said, the game is at halftime right now, and I can already write the headline for tomorrow's sports pages. Namely, "Ohio State plays football like they are at San Diego Zoo: End up mauled to death by tigers." I mean really, if I wanted to see guys get torn up by tigers like this, I'd buy tickets to a Sigfried and Roy show during a Las Vegas trip.

For real.

An open letter to my creditors:

Hey guys,

I hope everything is going ok on your end of things, I know it has been a while since we've talked. Lord knows that the payment I missed recently probably caused your CEO to think twice before purchasing that diamond encrusted bra for his mistress during their most recent excursion to Barbados. And when the boss has to think twice, we all know it makes him unhappy, and when the boss is unhappy, EVERYBODY is unhappy.

In all honesty, I am a responsible person! I keep track of my bills. I know when my monthly payments are due, and I have them spaced out to prevent overdrawing at the bank. I also know that I have to drive a crap ton for work and that gas, insurance, new tires, regular oil changes, and an unexpected brush with Officer Dick-Nose have cost me incredible sums of money lately. I also know that I have to pay those things first because getting a paycheck is dependent on those things being done. And as much as I would love to say that eating isn't something that I need to do, I'm sorry to report that I lack the willpower of the genuine anorexics out there, and I do eat. And if it were up to me, I'd live at my mom's house since I'm in the same town, but having another cantankerous turd around prevents saving money on the rent in that way. It should also be noted that while you might not particularly care, my job --despite serving the greater good, doesn't exactly keep me rolling in dough.

So I'm sorry about that missed payment. And I'm sorry that the boss is pissed off about second-guessing that diamond encrusted bra investment. If I could pay you with perfectly poured cosmopolitans and vodka tonics, I would. If I could pay you with hand-knit scarves, or hand beaded jewelry, I'd be all over it! If I could pay you with quips, and anecdotes in verbal or written formats, I would pay you all in full with no problem... But alas, you don't want any of that! You want cold hard American currency... In that regard, you kind of suck. Hasn't anyone told you that the dollar is floundering? I mean you'd totally be better off diversifying your payment options to include barter and trade goods!

I mean I'm not telling you how to run things, but seriously, THINK ABOUT IT!

Sincerely,

Liz