An open apology letter to my few fans.

Dear kids,

I hope you have all been behaving while I was gone. I would like to thank those of you who left messages with my secretary (AKA my voicemail) in my absence.

I suppose I forgot to mention to some of you why I was gone, where I went, and how long I intended to be away. So here's the basic scoop.

As you all know my grandmother (no, not the one who just fell and broke her hip... This is the other one.) was recently diagnosed with a rapid-growing form of cancer. Yes, cancer happens, and yes it's unfortunate, but the fact is that developing this kind of aggressive cancer at 81 years old all of a sudden took us by surprise, and we now take each day as a little miracle. She had major surgery to remove the vast majority of the cancer and several organs, just before I left Chicago, and now she's busy with her recovery... All things considered she's doing quite well. So I have paid her a couple of hospital visits, kissed her on the forehead, told her I love her, and kinda figured it's not really in my hands. (She's a tough ol' bird though, and I don't think she's going anywhere without a bit of a fight.)

So after the hospital visits, mom, and Aunt Pam decided they needed a few days away from the medical drama, so we went to Alabama as originally planned. (I've been needing to recover my southern accent, and what better way to do that, than to go to the deep South?) So I spent a few days visiting the southern-most branch of my family tree. (Yes, I suppose that my Aunt Monica is technically further south, but I kinda disavow general awareness of that branch of the family tree...)

So those days in the South were filled with small children running about, (pictures to come shortly,) lots of eating, a little bit of drinking, some sunshine, some hurricane-force winds, lots of laughter, (mostly at the expense of my cousin Frank,) and the locating of a new job prospect.

Yes, that's right, I think I've figured out what to do with myself... But more on that in a minute.

So we got back to E-Vegas today, and after having a happy hour drink with my big brother tomorrow, I will be back on my way to the windy city, and back to some semi-regular posting for you kiddies. (Feel free to cheer and applaud at this point)

So, as for the new job... During my visit to Birmingham, I was introduced to Frank's friend Gino. Gino is the owner/operator of several bartenders schools throughout the contiguous 48 states, and a couple of them just so happen to be in Chicago, and upon program completion they are often willing to help you find a job in your new-found profession ... So as luck would have it, I am currently pursuing and education and employment in the ever-so-popular field of bartending... I figure I go to bars often enough, I might as well be paid to be there. (And if I can find a job in a bar that will be airing the second half of the baseball season then I'll be in tip-top shape!)


So, my apologies for leaving you all the way I did. (I know I usually prepare you for this sort of hiatus.)

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Nenny( my dearest beaner /little sister) sent me this little ditty (link).... Some of you might think it's funny, and some of you might not... but no matter what you think, I thought it was worth sharing. P.S. - If what you see offends you, don't get mad at me, get mad at the guy in L.A.

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Here are some quotes!

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QOTD

"Well, I would tell him no, and he would go and take off his belt... I didn't mind though... He could never catch me, he was crippled." ~Frank talking about his grandfather.

"Nicholas, don't jump and climb on the couch like that! ... Well, fine. Go ahead, jump, and then you'll land on your head, snap your neck, and it'll serve you right." ~Kimberly, to her 3 yr old son Nicholas.

"Well my uncle Paul used to babysit us... And one night he let us come and smoke ["reefer"] with him... Well, mom came home, and found us all crashed out at like 7 PM and got mad... Uncle Paul didn't babysit very much after that." ~Frank

"We can't go to the beach now... The beach is BROKEN!" ~ 3 yr old Parker referring to the planned beach vacation being put off because of the hurricane.