Thursday, May 01, 2008

Welcome to my life...

We all know that my job makes me hate life. We also know that while it might be earning me some karma points, I totally counteract those bad boys by thinking really awful things in my head that I save up to spout to all my friends later at the bar. And furthermore, we know that social workers get paid SHIT. While we're on that topic, let's talk about my compensation... When I took this job, I was told, "Oh if gas gets anywhere near $3 a gallon (back then we were still in the $2.25-2.50 range) then the office usually throws a little money at us to make sure we can afford to make it out to see everyone." Well, let me tell you... Gas is nearly $4.00 a gallon, and has been WELL ABOVE $3.00 a gallon for some time now, and we haven't seen an extra dime. So I am forced to spend what VERY LITTLE extra money I WOULD have saved or used as disposable income to fill up my tank so that I can just get the bare minimum done and keep any kind of measly, paltry paycheck rolling in. This only enhances my bitterness about the whole thing.

In addition to all that, I recently got a phone call. "Hey, Liz! It's Mary Sunshine from We-Own-Your-Life bank and trust! Oh, someone forgot to tell you that your loan with us was not rolled into your consolidation of college loans, so basically, we've been silently fucking up your credit for a while now, and we've finally decided that we want to collect. That'll be $5,500. Oh, and we'll be needing that ... umm, roughly, NOW... Or we start taking it involuntarily from your paycheck."

This is just wonderful, because OBVIOUSLY I have $5,500 just lying around... I mean I just keep this shitty job for shits and giggles because I want to hate life and ruin my opinion of humankind and really, who wants to have kids someday? Not me! Because the little bastards are just asking for a beating with an electrical cord and a belt! Or better yet, I'll keep them in my house full of 14 cats and 6 dogs which never go outside and play dumb when I get a call from the school complaining that they are being sent home because they are covered in shit. Really, I mean, the only reason that $5,500 is not in my bank account because I stuff it in my mattress like an old miser who mistrusts federal banks. Oh wait... Nope, that's not right! I keep this goddamn job because I have to, even with it's shitty pay, it's something coming in the door, and since the job market is so spectacular at the moment, and I have SOOOOO many options, I MUST be keeping this job because it keeps me rolling in the dough, right? RIGHT?


This is my life.

Welcome to hell.

In related news, I woke up this morning, figured out that I am a low-level mental health professional and that when I turn my symptom knowledge around and look at myself lately, I probably have a diagnosable level of mild depression, but I can't do anything about it because despite that health insurance that gets paid for automatically with part of my paycheck, I can't afford to spend the money on a co-pay to go see a doctor, get a diagnosis, and then have to purchase medication if that is deemed necessary... At least not if I plan on eating. FUCK!

My life is just a steaming heap of shit salad... Who wants a taste? It's really delicious!

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