Monday, January 31, 2005
And so now here are your quotes as promised!
1.28.05 - "So, I said, 'Call me again, and I'll fart in your mouth.'" ~ Lindsay O.
1.29.05 - (Nate is a collegiate-aged volleyball player... this shouldn't have come from his mouth at this age!)
Liz: "I don't tend to swim in public pools because while I was a lifeguard for 6 years I learned a lot about them that makes me want to avoid them."
Nate: "Yeah, I was one of those kids who would totally pee in the pool."
Liz: "EEEEW! That's SICK!"
Nate: "What? The last time I peed in a pool was like 2 years ago."
1.30.05 - "Hey Liz, I think I've found my game!! GIN! I totally won all but one game on the road trip!" ~ Chris K. (She has been struggling with playing Shitter, but she apparently has found her card playing niche.)
1.31.05 - "Want candy? [What is it?] BUNNY POO! It's bunny poo, just try it! YAAAAAAAY BUNNY POO!" ~ Krystian
Liz: "I have bunnies in my gloves!"
Erin: "Real ones? [tried on fur-lined gloves] OOOH! This is like sex for my hands! It's kind of like my UGG boots, those are sex for my feet!"
2.2.05 - "Liz, look what I brought! (pulls out a copy of "In Touch" magazine; a celebrity-focused gossip, trash mag.) And guess who's pregnant! [Liz: "I really don't care Er."] Well, none of them are actually pregnant... It's VERY DECEPTIVE! But I love Jessica [Simpson]." ~ Erin
I have a new crush. SHHHHH!
- Friday was Jennifer's birthday, so instead of going to class I went to Jewel and got all the stuff I needed to make her a cake. (Jennie left to go to NW Indiana for the evening before the cake was completed, but that's ok, we celebrated on Saturday instead!)
- So, Friday night I had the apartment to myself, I wanted to paint but didn't. Instead, I drank alone, cleaned my room, and toyed with the idea of making out with a boy. (Fortunately for all involved that didn't happen... Just trust me here, this one was a good makeout for me to avoid.)
- Saturday I loafed about, did some reading (though not as much as I should have) and then went to Joe's for beer and the IU game.
- Saturday night was VIP time. We pre-drank a bit at home, I called Dave from the cab, and in typical form he didn't answer, nor did he return the call. (I think he's ignoring me in the hopes I will forget that he hasn't followed through with Christmas gift exchange yet... no such luck.) So, we went to Hi-tops (where I nearly had to choke a bitch, but more on that in a bit) and Barleycorn's (where, unlike my birthday weekend, I actually remember being upstairs this time) to celebrate the anniversary of my roommate's birth, and we actually called it a night pretty early. (We all know that while I love Wrigley, and all it stands for in the spring and summer months, you also know how much I hate the wrigleyville bar scene.) So general tiredness of all of that plus a little drama (once again not MY drama) and the impending field trip (more on that in a moment) caused us to phone it in and end the night fairly early. (Sorry Natey-kins, no rockstar effort this time.)
- We came home, had some cake and other drunken carbs, and went to bed. Pretty standard evening with the added bonus of birthday cake! (I also had the most cracked out dream ever, involving the alien thing from the Predator movies, my buddy Jeff, a tennis ball, a giant shrubbery maze, bad breath, and people I went to high school with and have not spoken to since graduation... but that has nothing to do with anything else... but I digress.)
- Sunday I was required to get up earlier than I honestly wanted to because I had to go to the Art Institute for an art history field trip. (Yes, a class field trip on a SUNDAY MORNING... I'll get into the details of this in a moment... but let's just say that this trip caused me to further detest my professor and this class.)
- I then bought a loaf of bread entirely in change because I am poor.
- I took a nap.
- I watched a Cold Case Files mini-marathon for like 4 hours because I LOVE that show.
- I watched Project Runway because it is the one reality show I can actually handle, but only because it's done by Bravo Network, and it's about artistic design instead of just being cute people with money and problems. I'm hooked. Oh, and sincer we're on the topic of the Bravo Network, I would also like to take this opportunity to add that when I get the chance to watch, I also love Inside the Actors Studio with James Lipton, and Significant Others. BLOODY BRILLIANT! (I heart Bravo Network!)
- We are once again current.
Ok, I said I was about to choke a bitch at Hi-Tops, here's why: (A tip sheet of sorts.)
- When people are three-to-five deep at the bar waiting on a drink, this is not the time for you to start thinking you are cute so you can slide in front of me right when I get to the bar.
- If you do decide to make the mistake of sliding in front of me, this is not the time to camp out at the bar... In fact, I advise you to get what you came for and hurry away before I have a chance to memorize what you look like so that I can track you down later and throw down.
- If you decide to compound your previous mistake of sliding in with camping out, this is not the time to continually flip your hair in my face and pretend I'm not there, especially when I have already voiced my problem with your existence at the current place and time.
So now that we've covered the Saturday night perils list, let's move on to my Sunday field trip to the Art Institute. (A list of issues I have with the field trip, as well as the art institute itself)
- I don't like having to cut any weekend evening adventure short to do school-related things... this includes field trips, some reading (though certainly not all) as well as attending things that I would not ordinarily attend on a weekend.
- I don't like having to get up earlier than normal (Weekend wakeup time should be significantly later than school week waking. This applies to phone rules as well as school nonsense.)
- I don't like being told that attendance is mandatory when in fact roll is not taken so I could totally lie and say I was there.
- I don't like having to spend my laundry money to attend this field trip which I was told was mandatory, and thus not be able to do laundry, and also have to buy a loaf of bread entirely with dimes and pennies.
- I do not like spending three and a half hours in one thirty yard span of one hallway listening to my professor drone on about the same features of the same or HIGHLY SIMILAR works of art that she has aldready, or will eventually drone on about in normal class lecture. When in doubt, say the most basic facts, open it up to questions, and let people look at what they are actually interested in.
- Rule #5 applies especially harshly when I am only expected to listen to said professor in 50 minute stretches on a normal school day. Four times longer than standard lecture is especially unacceptable on a Sunday morning.
- Do not act like you're teaching us something new, when you are merely reading the tags that describe each object and then re-stating the things we've already covered in class.
- Do not repeat the same thing 9 times, even if it applies to 9 different objects... BELIEVE ME, we made it into college, we understand that culturally stylized features apply to multiple things.
- Being an art student, and one who is generally appreciative of the fine arts, I LOVE going to the Art Institute.
- I love the different smells in the galleries that you just can't find elsewhere, sometimes it's the smell of fine paper, sometimes it's the smell of oils, or acrylics, sometimes it's the slight remainder of India Ink, or the cold stone smell that seems permanently mentally associated with big old churches and the fine marble they tend to contain. (It takes an appreciation of art and a sensitive nose to really get this one.)
- I love looking at all the fine details the master works that you can't see in a book.
- I love the feeling of being totally inspired and ready to create something beautiful and lasting that I get while I am at the Art Institute.
- I hate visiting the Art Institute, because while I have all those other reasons for loving it, at the same time looking at all the masterpieces makes me feel very inadequate as an artist.
- I hate it because I think you should have to know something about art in order to go and talk to people in your group about it because I am forced to listen to people who are content with their artistic ignorance. Nothing bothers me more than standing in a room full of incredible pieces of modern art, like a Jackson Pollock, and have people walk up and say, "It's just a bunch of splatters." (*Example from today: I was standing in a room looking at a Pollock today, an ignorant old woman was looking at another painting on the wall behind me... (A Mark Rothko, 4 color modern, featuring an orange ground, with 3 horizontal rectangles one purple, one red, and one white) and she was like, "Oh this one is PATRIOTIC!" I REALLY wanted to turn around and say "You are an idiot. You either need to read the tag and educate yourself, or get out of this gallery and stop breathing my air.") (This is probably the kind of comment that makes me a bad person.)
- I also hate the Art Institute because of the presence of kids and parents. Please don't get me wrong, I love kids, and I'm all for exposing kids to viewing artistic masterpieces, but COME ON PEOPLE! TEACH THEM about the art, don't just walk up to a Salvador Dali, a VanGogh, or a Picasso and say "Look at the pretty colors!" Try to explain to a kid what it is that they are looking at (within reason) Tell them about line, and form, and texture. EDUCATE YOUR CHILDREN, I mean if you're going to bring the kids to see the art, then you should do something to bring the art to a kid's level, even if it's just reading the tag next to a work that the kid seems to show an interest in. Engage them in some kind of thought process.
In the next entry I will catch up the quotes of the day and cover the Lizzle scale for irritation. But at present it is after 2 AM and I must be going to bed so that I can get up and go to art history in the morning.
Sunday, January 30, 2005
Thursday, January 27, 2005
Yes, it's true, a test has confirmed that I am, in fact, not a good person. Believe it, I am a horrible person, and only 14% of the world's population are worse human beings than I am! (That includes all the murderers, rapists, child molesters, etc.) I am only in the 15th percentile of good people. That means that 85% of the people on this earth are better human beings than me. 85%!!! In addition to being a bad person I am also a VERY ineffective person. I am only in the 4th percentile of effective people. Those 3% who are accomplishing even less than me are very likely small children, 90 year old women who have never worked a day in their lives, George W. Bush, shut-ins, the mentally incompetent, people in the prison system, and coma patients... oh but even some of those guys have jobs... JEEZ!
According to this same test I am, however, a very powerful person, a very joyful person, and a very peaceful person. So let's see, that must mean that I am powerful yet ineffective, but I take great joy in it. I am not a good person, but I am peaceful... so apparently being a terrible human being hasn't led me to hostility... YET.
Now, you all know that I am the first to admit to you that I'm a horrible person, that I laugh when people fall down and slightly injure themselves (myself included because we all know I'm a bit accident prone, and once the cursing stops I generally have a good giggle at my own expense,) I laugh at people with horrible disorders like tourette's syndrome, I make fun of stupid people, and yeah, I totally roast my friends at every opportunity... but it's a whole other story to have a written test tell you that you are a sad excuse for a good, decent, compassionate human being. My ego has just taken a serious blow. There's no coming back from a real, genuine, psychological personality test telling you that you pretty much suck.
I would like to take this chance to announce that some people never change, and I'm very glad that I noticed this once again now, rather than a short distance down the road. (Mendez gets it.)
*Note to all those of you out there, being observant DOES pay off.
Since this won't be read until the 28th, I'll go ahead and say
HAPPY BIRTHDAY JENNIE!
(My roommate is 24 today!!!)
Mendez wants to kick my ass. And I can't say that I blame her. She and I conversed about boys. And basically she told me that after all this time, if I lower my standards now, she's going to cut me... and she's a Chicago-Mexican, so I believe that she has a switchblade in her cute little bag. (Her bag says I [heart] nerds!) (She's gotta be keeping her blade in her bag because lord knows she's too skinny to hide anywhere on her body.) And since she weighs 100 lbs soaking wet, I think her only chance at taking me is to be armed... but she'll sniper your ass man, she'll sneak up on you and slice your achilles! And we all know from then on out, you're fucked! And then while she's cutting out your kidneys for some weird mexican taco recipe, she'll sing happy birthday to you in spanish! Believe me! I've seen her do it!
But anyway, she basically gave me the ego boost I needed to keep going. She told me that love won't come along when I'm looking for it, it'll come along when I hate guys and am seriously considering becoming a nun. (I've been through that stage, and I didn't have a boy then either...DAMN) But anyway, Mendez, here's to you kiddo!
1/27/05 - "We had a diversity training luncheon today! We played DIVERSITY BINGO!" ~Pat Schultz
Tuesday, January 25, 2005
Still no word from Dave... GRRR.
Jen W. said tonight that she needs a new boyfriend... Yeah, she "NEEDS" a new boyfriend... I love J-dub and all, but she DOES NOT NEED a boyfriend... I NEEDED a makeout after 170 days. J-dub just WANTS a new boyfriend... THERE IS A DIFFERENCE!
Note to self (and others who might find themselves in contact with the Men's basketball team): Do not, under any circumstances, take anything from a member of the men's basketball team if it has been in their locker room for any extended period of time. And if you absolutely must take it please take appropriate precautions such as wearing gloves or having some other form of protective barrier between you and said object. If you don't heed this warning, you will come away with a hand that smells a great deal like a dead animal. Just take my word for it.
I caught a boy peekin at me tonight! (Why weren't the boys peekin at me 5 months ago?) Jeez, sometimes a girl just can't catch a break??
Monday, January 24, 2005
Erin: Mark your calendar! Season premiere of "Newlyweds!!"
Liz: Sorry, I don't mark my calendar for trash TV.
Erin: It's not trash! It's "NEWLYWEDS!!"
Liz: Yeah, like I said, trash TV... they are being paid millions of dollars to do what? Be themselves? OOOH THAT'S TALENT!
[A few minutes after Jen W. came by and I retold the tourettes-train story]
Erin: You know, Liz, you end up in some of the funniest and strangest situations. What are you doing that causes such weird stuff to happen to you?
Liz: I don't know why these things happen around me, they just do! But I sure as hell don't see anyone offering me millions of dollars for a reality series, you know why? Because I'm an ordinary person... weird, funny shit happens to me all the time but I only get to share it with the few people who read my blog, not much in the way of huge ratings.
Erin: If I had millions of dollars, I'd finance your reality show! I'd totally watch it too! It'd be hilarious.
So, someone would be willing to spend millions of dollars to finance my reality show if they had the money... this makes me think that the book idea might actually work. I mean there are a lot of people out there who have the fifteen bucks or less that it would cost to buy my book once it goes to paperback... I'm not asking for millions to produce a reality show. And in a book you wouldn't have to wait a week for the next episode... it's all right there!
I'm comfortable with the idea of living off my book royalties, spending my money on new adventures for the next book. I could go for that! (And with the elevated profile of being a best-selling author I could also sell my paintings for a decent sum!)
This book idea is getting better and better all the time.
I would like to note that I wore a pair of brown pants and a pink sweater to work today. Brown pants and a pink sweater... not exactly the most glamorous outfit I own, but after today I'm starting to think that I must look like a total slob the rest of the time, because I don't know if I've ever gotten so many compliments in such a short period of time for looking cute / dressing up / "being all sparkly" / etc. I'm still not sure why I was "all sparkly" (The actual compliment was, "Wow, Liz, you're all sparkly today!" and I do want it on the record that I didn't have any glittery makeup or anything on...) but anyway, I think it was a compliment. Anyway, thanks everybody for making me feel good about the wardrobe today, and question my wardrobe the rest of the time.
1.25.05 - [I heard this one right before we left for Florida and forgot to post it]
(Lanny was asked if there were any extra perks to doing volunteer work at the public library)
"Well, no, there aren't really many things you'd call 'perks' but I am getting all kinds of street cred with the other librarians!" ~Lanny.
1.26.05 - [Majak Kou had just walked by] (Majak is about 6' 7" and weighs approximately twelve pounds... Yes I am aware that his "Rambler profile" says 6'5" 165, but I think it's REALLY off.)
Pat Schultz: "You know he's my favorite guy named Majak. Of all the Majaks I know, he's definitely my favorite, and he's also probably the skinniest Majak I know."
Liz: "Yes, that Majak is a rather slender fellow."
Pat Schultz: "Slender? Are you kidding? The guy is a burnt pencil!"
Sunday, January 23, 2005
Liz: "Hey Mendez, what's your middle name?"
Mendez: "Pick one for me."
Liz: "You don't have one? AWW, how sad!"
Mendez: [hangs head] "Nope, my parents couldn't afford one... almost all of my sibs have one, but not me."
*Oh, and if you're reading this, I want to know your middle name. (That is if I don't know it already)
After spending the afternoon at work today I came home and didn't really do much. I consoled a few of my volleyball boys because a few of them played really well, (and they should be proud because they played their hearts out, and that's why I love them.) Then I got back in touch with a few friends who I hadn't talked to in quite some time, and I had a lovely conversation with Karla. (Karla and I REALLY get each other... kind of the way twins have their own language, that's kinda like me and Karla.) Long story short, Karla gets it. (And she said she would SO buy my book!)
1.22.04 - "I usually totally hate girls cuz I'm so not like the conventional kinda girl. I just don't understand them and then Jeff reminds me that i am a girl and that i shouldn't make fun of them." ~ Karla on being reminded that she's a girl
Liz: "Oh did Alana tell you that she and I have a class together?"
Liz: "Yup we totally didn't even plan on it either... she walked in and it was a total shock."
Karla: "That should be fun, what class?"
Liz: "Cultural anthro."
Karla: "Do you guys sit by each other?"
Karla: "...and braid each other's hair?"
Liz: "Totally! And we talk about boys while we give each other manicures!"
Karla: "I wish I could do that, it would be so swell!"
Liz: "It is SWELL! We're best friends forever!"
Karla: "WOOOOOO BFFs!"
Saturday, January 22, 2005
Friday, January 21, 2005
As for the missing David Hurley, I got indirect word from him (through a post on his website) that he is in fact still alive and kickin' rather than lying dead in a ditch as I had previously imagined. He claims he's been super busy, though I don't know if anyone in the history of the world has ever been THAT busy. He says he'll call soon. I don't believe him. Call me a pessimist. (In unison: "Ok, Liz, you're a pessimist!") If I had to guess what is keeping David so busy, I'd say it would have to be this "Ultimate, most-awesome Christmas gift ever" that he's still tracking down... That's just my guess.
As for Christmas gifts I'm used to waiting for them (The wait for a gift from Maria is currently at 2 years, while Maggie and Marianne are standing firm at 1 year.) I've pretty much given up on ever seeing any of these gifts, but if they should one day land on my doorstep, I'll be pleasantly surprised. I still love you guys anyway though! You're my friends, and that's what's important!
This little thing gave me a good chuckle... I'll be damned if I could tell you why. What can I say, I'm kinda weird. I hope you see it and laugh as well. (That will make me feel less weird.)
For those of you suffering along with me, or possibly as a direct result of me, (though I suffered as a direct result of Jeff,) I would like to tell you a bit about Zicam. Zicam is the stuff you see advertised on TV as the medicine that you can take when you first feel yourself getting sick to shorten the length of your cold. My lovely roommate Jennifer had some sample packets, and she was willing to share her samples with me in order to shorten/minimize my suffering. For her generosity, I thank her. Zicam however should come with the following warning label: "Warning: This will shorten the length of your cold, but in the process it WILL melt away the insides of your nostrils!" I speak from experience here.
Jeff is a yard ape. (This will prevent him from ever being a member of the scuba squad!)
I have given up on track of the day. Not because I have run out of good songs, (Believe me, I've got THOUSANDS!) but because I have gotten no feedback on the matter, I've had no suggestions on songs to include, no indication that anyone has listened to anything I've recommended, etc.
1.20.05 (Kerry and I talking about our anthropology professor)
Liz: "Hey, Ker, I went to ratemyprofessors.com and looked this lady up. From what I gather she's a little funny about people leaving to go to the bathroom."
Liz: "I also noted that she got a few votes for being "Hot" ... I'm just a heterosexual girl, but personally, I don't see it."
Kerry: "Nope, I'm not seeing it either... maybe she went on there and voted "hot" for herself. Besides, she's got limp hair!"
Liz: "Hey Alana, that boy back there, he's the one I used to have a crush on."
Alana: "I figured that out!! You know, ordinarily I suck at putting 2 and 2 together, but I actually got that one!"
Psychologists have discovered that the manner in which people eat Oreo cookies provides great insight into their personalities. Choose which method best describes your favorite method of eating Oreos:
- The whole thing all at once.
- One bite at a time.
- Slow and methodical nibbles, examining the results of each bite afterwards.
- In little feverous nibbles.
- Dunked in some liquid (milk, coffee...).
- Twisted apart, the inside, then the cookie.
- Twisted apart, the inside, and toss the cookie.
- Just the cookie, not the inside.
- I just like to lick them, not eat them.
- I don't have a favorite way because I don't like Oreos.
1. The whole thing: This means you consume life with abandon, you are fun to be with, exciting, carefree with some hint of recklessness. You are totally irresponsible. No one should trust you with their children.
2. One bite at a time: You are lucky to be one of the 5.4 billion other people who eat their Oreos this very same way. Just like them, you lack imagination, and are just one of the herd.
3. Slow and Methodical: You follow the rules. You're very tidy and orderly. You're very meticulous in every detail with everything you do to the point of being anal retentive. Most people hate you.
4. Feverous Nibbles: Your boss likes you because you get your work done quickly. You always have a million things to do and never enough time to do them. Mental breakdowns and suicides run in your family. Megadoses of Prozac and Valium are called for. Now!
5. Dunked: Everyone likes you because you are always upbeat. You like to sugar coat unpleasant experiences and rationalize bad situations into good ones. You are in total denial about the shambles you call a life.
6. Twisted apart, the inside, and then the cookie: You have a highly curious nature. You take pleasure in breaking things apart to find out how they work, though you are not always able to put them back together, so you destroy all the evidence of your activities. You deny your involvement. You are a compulsive liar and exhibit deviant, if not criminal, behavior.
7. Twisted apart, the inside, and then toss the cookie: You are good at business and take risks that pay off. You take what you want and throw the rest away. You are greedy, selfish, mean, and lack feelings for others. You should be ashamed of yourself.
8. Just the cookie, not the inside: You enjoy pain. And I'm pretty sure you have herpes.
9. I just like to lick them, not eat them: Stay away from small furry animals and seek psychological help - immediately.
10. I don't have a favorite way, I don't like Oreo cookies: You probably come from a rich family, and like to wear nice things, and go to up-scale restaurants. You are particular and fussy about the things you buy, own, and wear. You are a priss.
First, I would like to mention that I have never had a class where attendence did not count. Indeed, it always comprises some percentage of my grade. I had a class of 150 (this is medium sized at Madison, I have a class of 300 this semester, and have had one as large as 600, but I digress) and even in a class of 150, with no discussion section, attendence mattered. Perhaps, my dear Liz, mandatory attendence is good for you.
Now, on to what is actually happening in my life. I, like Liz, graduate in May. I have never been more terrified of anything in my entire life. I don't have any job prospects lined up, and honestly, I don't know what I want to be when I grow up. I think that I want to live in Chicago or DC. I think I want to work in politics. I know that I want to change the world. But I now realize those things are difficult to do with merely a bachelor's. Which is crap I tell you. When did a degree stop being enough? Furthermore, the other day I asked an instructor, who I know quite well, for a recommendation. His response was sure, but I need to give him an academic resume. What the hell is that? I'll tell you what it is: one more stressful thing I have to do before I graduate. Basically, I need to summarize what I have done in the past 4 years and make it look better than it actually was. For example: Volunteer work. I happen to be a very good babysitter of drunks. Does that count?
Well, of course there is more. But I realize now that it getting late, and I have to read about globalizations's impact on the third world's population increase (interesting, yes. does it help me get a job? no.)
Ciao for now.
Oh, quick side note: I have had 2 wonderful though drastically different movie experience in the past 2 months. One: Napoleon Dynamite. I have never laughed so hard. Two: Hotel Rwanda. I cried the whole way through. But I loved it. It was absolutely amazing.
Wednesday, January 19, 2005
I have actually known this one was coming for quite some time. This has been one of those slow moving ideas that kind of rolls around in your head like a little snowball, and after it rolls around for a little while, it gets bigger and bigger, and it includes more and more information, until all of a sudden it falls off a cliff and SPLAT, it lands right on your noggin.
This particular revelation has to do with relationships. (Friendships, romantic relationships, etc.) and it took an episode of Sex and the City to cause the SPLAT. (SPLAT being the ultimate epiphany.)
I've been formulating this for quite some time. I looked at my successful friendships. I looked at the friendships of people around me, (the friendships of my friends with other people which I found hard to understand). I looked at the successful romantic relationships of people around me (as I obviously don't have any successful romantic relationships to speak of at the moment, or for quite some time for that matter...) And I think I've figured it out. I think I know what it is that makes it all work... the thing that holds all the real relationships together. It's not sex, it's not money, it's not sharing the pursuit of a common goal. Although all of these things can be found in certain successful relationships, that's not what makes them work.
So, what is it then? What holds it all together? What keeps us coming back to people for love, friendship, etc? I'll tell you. It's the understood knowledge (whether we realize it or not) that being with this person, this friend, this significant other, makes us better. It's not that they complete us, it's not that they make us feel better about ourselves, it is that being with this person makes us better because being in their company brings out the best in us.
We are that much better because we are understood, we are not judged. We are that much more easily able to laugh or to smile. We are supported when we need help, and we are told the ugly truth when that's what we need (even if it might not be what we want to hear).
So there it is. My advice to you. Go where the wind blows you, be who you are, and surround yourself with people who allow you to be you, and make you feel better for being no more or no less than what you are. Keep close ties with those who make you better, and let the rest go. The rest is just unnecessary baggage. It's money, and things, and goals, they blind us from what's really important, just being us, and being the best versions of us we can be, and cultivating the relationships with those who make us better. Because in the end it's not about the things we owned in life, the wealth we amassed, but rather it's about the lives we touched and the people we cherished.
The relationship might not be the prettiest thing to an outsider, then again, it might be deceptively pretty and simple, but then again the reality of the insides can also be dramatically different than the outside might appear. It may be impossible to comprehend for anyone who doesn't know it on an intimate level, but that doesn't matter. All that matters is that unspoken understanding that exists inside the safe confines of the relationship itself. The unspoken knowledge that this other person makes you just THAT MUCH better.
Tuesday, January 18, 2005
I don't know what this semester has in store for me, but if the first day is any indication, I DON'T LIKE IT!! It might have merely been the drugs (legal ones for my legitimate ailments) talking, but I can already say that I think at least two of the three classes I had today were total snoozes, and while the professor for the third class was somewhat entertaining, and it (3rd class) seems like it might be interesting, even the professor said it has the potential to be drier than the Sahara... so I'm doomed. It wouldn't be so bad if I didn't have to go, but the administration has finally figured it all out and informed the professors how to make my life hell by making attendance actually count. (They still can't count attendance itself as part of the grade, but they figure if you have unannounced writing assignments done in class, that you can't make up if you miss, worth 40% of the final grade then you kinda have to go... so they've essentially gutted my plans for half-assing my core classes as I'd originally planned.) In the wise words if Mr. Locker, "Well, CRAPOLA!"
It's snowing. DOUBLE CRAPOLA!
I just set my morning alarm for 8 AM. TRIPLE CRAPOLA!
When I orignally started typing this up for you, I did have some very deep insight to offer up for your consideration. Something with regard to relationships... and since I decided to recount the events of my day for you first, I ended up losing it. Sorry.
So instead of offering up something brilliantly insightful about life and relationships, I'll give you my other insights for the day:
- If you are a woman living in Chicago during the winter and you care at all about putting a face on before leaving your place of residence in the morning, you better have a VERY waterproof mascara, otherwise you're going to end up looking like Courtney Love on a crack/alcohol/controlled substance binge.
- Nyquil tastes disgusting. I don't know what it is that they were shooting for with that flavor, but whatever it was, they missed. If they were aiming to cover up the taste of the medicine in it, they must have decided to mask it with a "special super medicine-y flavoring" ... Surely they can do better!
- In the words of Tyler Durden /Brad Pitt in "Fight Club" (based on the BRILLIANT book by the same name by Chuck Palahniuk) "Sticking feathers up your butt does not make you a chicken!" -- Similarly dressing in ugly, "fashionable" (in quotes because I still don't understand how ugly = high fashion) clothing does not make you a model, nor does it mean that you are Sarah Jessica Parker /Carrie Bradshaw of "Sex and the City". Sorry ladies. There are some things even SJP couldn't effectively pull off so you really shouldn't expect to either. Oh, and since you're not famous, you really don't really have a reason to dress like that. Here's a hint: There are not any paparazzi on our campus taking your picture, nobody gives a shit. So for the sake of all of us, and all the poor fuzzy little animals that were killed so that you could have fuzzy boots or a fuzzy collar, PLEASE STOP.
- I have a foot-fetishist from my hometown, who I don't personally know, after me... or at least he's after my feet. I'm not sure how to feel about this... Obviously I'm a bit weirded out by it, and I think that if the drought still stood intact I'd be giving this kind of flattery a little more consideration, but as it stands now, the streak is over, so I'm just kinda sticking with being weirded out.
- I think all of my best friends are diappearing off the face of the earth... something on the order of that movie "The Forgotten" ... First Dave, now Alana. I call, I write, I call again, I just try to check in to see if my good pals are getting by and having a good day, and they are nowhere to be found... sometimes for weeks on end! I suspect a massive conspiracy!
1.18.05 - " I don't mind studying art. I like art. I just don't like it with nearly as much enthusiasm before 11 AM" ~Me on having to get up BLOODY EARLY for art history because it's only offered BLOODY EARLY.
Becky: "If it is not too cold i will so go to hi-tops."
Liz: "What's the cold got to do with it? Free liquor is free liquor"
Becky: "I like drinking... it makes me all warm and fuzzy"
Liz: "Yeah, it's bad for the liver, but good for the soul! Oh, and for the record, you're warm and fuzzy because you're a mammal... not because you drink."
Becky: "Oh yeah."
Monday, January 17, 2005
1.17.04 - "Yeah, just so you know I hate boys now. I went from LaDonna to Burger Delights !" ~Jennie on her reason for man-hating.
Fun link of the day: NINJA MONKEY!!! (Thank you Nate G.)
I've lost my buddy Dave. I was hoping that some kindly person such as yourself would help me track him down. He's from the greater Baltimore area. He's a tall fellow, reasonably attractive. He has a deranged, often crass, and always sarcastic sense of humor, and he can often be seen tooling around in a silver grand prix, or tinkering with a jeep. He is kind of a computer geek, and at the last time of contact he held a job at Johns-Hopkins in the IT department. (But seeing as this is/was my buddy Dave, there is a chance this might have changed in the time elapsed since said last contact.) He can also occasionally be spotted abusing his liver in the bars at Fells Point, or revelling in his drunkenness on park benches in the surrounding area. If you happen upon this gentleman, please do not approach him as he is armed (yep, he's got 2 arms!) and somewhat dangerous (though only to single women) please contact the local authorities, as I am sure he's wanted on some drunk & disorderly charge where a bench warrant had to be issued, or some similar charge. Then please contact me via e-mail or phone because I have a tendency to worry about this boy since I know he has a penchant for being a troublemaker. Thank you for your time.
Saturday, January 15, 2005
I'm back from vacationing in
In the interest of story-telling continuity, I’ll just do this chronologically and I’ll try to keep the daily play-by-play to a minimum so as to keep from boring you all to death.
Last Friday I went out to Schaumpton (a.k.a.
Saturday we got up, went to the airport, spent much of the day waiting, flying, renting a van, and getting to our vacation destination. After dinner and a little time in the pool, it was time for bed.
Sunday we went to Universal Studios and Islands of Adventure where we spent the bulk of the day walking around, riding the rides, and having a very pleasant first full day of vacation.
Monday was also spent at Universal.
Tuesday we opted for a change of pace and went to Wet n’ Wild water park which was a tremendously good time as well… it could have been slightly improved by a little more sun, but still a good time! Tuesday night we went to Margaritaville for a few drinks, and we danced with some old guys because … well, I don’t know why we danced with old guys, but we still had a good time.
Wednesday was a kind of a day off of sorts. We hung around the pool and we just took it easy for a little while… because walking many miles every day for three days and then following that up with all too many stairs and extended periods of swimming in a wave pool for several hours at the water park tends to wear you out! (We all needed a little vacation from our vacation!)
Thursday we went mini-golfing (because what’s a trip to
So Friday we didn't fish... (we later found out that fishing was rained out anyway) and so I went and spent money I don’t have on stuff because it was cheap at the outlets! (Where else can I get super soft multi-functional brown fatty pants from Tommy Hilfiger for 15 bucks?)
Saturday morning we got up, got all our crap together and headed for the airport to catch our flight home.
And that’s my vacation! (Further details available upon request)
It was so awesome, I had so much fun, and I am so glad I went! We had a blast, the weather was beautiful and it was just what I needed to bust up the winter blahs.
It was so awesome, I had so much fun, and I am so glad I went! We had a blast, the weather was beautiful and it was just what I needed to bust up the winter blahs.
1.8.05 - "NARWHAL!" ~ Alana (completely out of the blue)
1.9.05 - “My friends and I found an ID out in a creek, and they thought it looked like me, so for the week or so before I turned 21 I was Zack Morris!” ~Jeff
1.10.05 - (At Red Lobster over a king crab leg dinner)
Liz: "I saved the best piece for last, just look at the size of that last piece!"
Alana: "It's like a really big finger!"
Jeff: "It's like the Finger of GOD!"
Liz: "And what a delicious god he is!"
1.11.05 - "Does your narwhal come from
1.12.05 - “Just remember, I’m Dr. Jeff from the planet Ba-donk-a-donk!” ~Jeff
1.13.05 - "I'm telling Ben!" ~ Everyone on the trip (kind of a running joke)
1.14.05 - "Hey guys, look! Ben joke!" ~ (Jeff pointing to a giant “Wolverine” in Universal) *This is funny because Ben has what he refers to as a “Man crush” on Hugh Jackman who plays Wolverine in the X-Men films (If Benny’s gonna have a man crush on anybody, I think Hugh is definitely one of the more respectable options.)
1.15.05 - "Well, dad, that's not fair, because we had to sit with you on the way up here, and Karla gets the aisle because of her knees, and of course you get the window because you're old..." ~Alana discussing the seating arrangements on the flight home
*For those of you who were paying attention I noted that there was more to say about Thurday. (I did! Go back and see!) So... Think about it... read about what I did on Thursday and you tell me what happened...
You're on the right track!
You're getting warmer!!
DING DING DING DING DING!!!!!
THAT'S RIGHT KIDS!!
THE STREAK HAS MERCIFULLY ENDED!!!!!!!
OFFICIAL FINAL COUNTOF MAKEOUT-FREE DAYS:
That said, the QOTD for 1.16.05 is:
Wait, you mean to tell me your mom knows about the streak??? ~ Alana
Dave has vanished off the face of the earth again. Why am I surprised by this?
I no longer live by a Burger King... I live by a Burger Delights... WHAT THE FUCK IS A BURGER DELIGHTS???? I'm not sure how to feel about all of this!!!
Friday, January 07, 2005
When I come back, I promise I will bring you presents (in the form of entertaining posts about my trip)! And I will have lots of great quotes... as I am vacationing with three members of the weirdest/funniest/most wonderful family ever (except for my own of course... because we know my clan is pretty damn amusing.)
Since I'm bringing quotes back when I come home, I'll give you today's quote, and eight tracks of the day for the eight days I will be gone.
Liz: "I'm going on vacation!!!"
Mendez: "You are the hooker of the forest!"
(I still don't know why I'm the hooker of the forest, or where this forest is)
(And just so you know how sick my family's sense of humor is, here's a quote to grow on!)
"Well, I hope you enjoy the beach... You deserve it! Just don't let the tsunamis get you!" ~My mom
TOTD (Oh and if you give any consideration to any of the tracks I recommend here, then please give the Corey Taylor track I suggested the other day a try! SERIOUSLY!)
Oleander - "I Walk Alone"
Linkin Park & Adema - "Giving In"
Nada Surf - "Popular" (Old one-hit wonder here!)
Nikka Costa - "Push & Pull"
Ryan Cabrera - "She's" (I know this is a very "pop" artist, but this song is so good!)
Louis Armstrong - "What a Wonderful World" (The Eva Cassidy version is also very high quality!)
Tricky - "Christiansands" (I don't know what it is about this song, but I keep coming back to it year after year)
Ghetto Boys - "Damn it Feels good to be a Gangsta"
You know how I've been occasionally writing about things that all of a sudden come to mind, out of nowhere here lately? Well, I've got another one for you.
Today while at work I remembered being in the third grade, sitting in Mrs. Boutwell's classroom, writing pen pal letters, when one particular student asked to use the bathroom. (We'll call this student "Kid A" to protect his identity) Unfortunately for Mrs. Boutwell, Kid A really REALLY did have to use the restroom facilities. The result of a mean teacher's denial: A large puddle of urine on the floor/chair/carpet squares... and then there's poor little Adrienne Wuertz. Someone, while fleeing the ever-growing/spreading puddle, brushed a desk where her newly completed pen pal letter rested, and sent it slowly sailing down into a yellow puddle of disaster. (Hey, when you're a third grader, losing a three page pen pal letter in a particularly nasty puddle with no remnant of your rough draft remaining is a devastating experience.) I don't know what it is that keeps my weird little brain coming up with this random sampling of moments from my past... (I try telling you kids, I remember EVERYTHING)
Thursday, January 06, 2005
I went to work. There wasn't much to do. This is typical. I passed the time talking to Westfall. She gets it.
Westfall is a regular reader, friend, and colleague. She is also a young single woman living in Chicago. She comes to me today and says "I read the blog. I agree. I am also difficult. I've tried telling my mom that I get the feeling that marriage might not be for me, and every time I say it I think it's going to kill her." (I paraphrased, but you get the idea.) This admission was a double-edged sword. On the one hand it comforted me to know that I was not alone in feeling this way. There are other fabulous girls out there who, like me, are questioning what is wrong with them that makes it so hard to find a decent guy. On the other hand I can assure those of you who don't know J-Dub on a personal level that she is a VERY attractive girl with a very attractive and outgoing personality. While I feel I can keep pace on a personality level, I have no problem saying that physically I'm closer to the "average" portion of the spectrum whereas Westfall is on the more positive extreme. (It's true J-Dub... you're hot. It's ok.) So the more cutting edge of that fact is that if a girl as cute as J-Dub can't find a worthwhile boy, there seems to be relatively little hope for the rest of us average girls.
Don't mistake my intent with this entry. I'm not writing this because I'm fishing for compliments. I don't want you to feel sorry for me and say "Oh no, you're hot, Liz!" It's ok really. I know where I stand in the grand spectrum, and empirical evidence positions me closer to the middle of the pack. I'm ok with that. To quote one of my favorite movies "Garden State," "I'm okay with being unimpressive. I sleep better." Compliments are nice and I like getting them as much as any other girl, don't get me wrong, but in this particular case, they are not necessary. They are not what I'm after by putting this out there for the masses. I am simply allowing you all a small glimpse into my neurosis. (And this is a little window on my thinking since you all already know about the ever-present drought, which I'm anxiously hoping to snap while vacationing in Florida. The key phrase for this trip is "GUARDED OPTIMISM")
Meanwhile I've determined that I am in a rut. Though significant, the drought is only a small part of this. Last night, the wheels started turning as I had a really good chat with my buddy Nate G. (Who I love, because he is one of the most wonderfully sincere and genuine people I know.) I know that there are a lot of you out there who are saying to yourselves, "Jesus, Liz, I could have told you that MONTHS AGO! You're only getting to this now?" And the answer is yes, I am only now coming to this revelation. And I will say this, if I wasn't a reader, it would have taken me even longer to figure it out. I was reading a book while at the cage today, and one of the characters noted that he was in a rut... and all of a sudden the light went on above my head. I suddenly knew what was looming on my subconscious daily existence. A RUT. Amazing. The thing is, I get this sneaky feeling that this one might be quite difficult to shake. I mean I think this has been going on since shortly after my week-long-birthday-bender. Since then I've had a couple months of classes, a couple weeks off from classes (many skipped classes while they were still going on), many weekends out, many paychecks, two holiday trips home, an awesome Christmas, and an impending Florida vacation. Still nothing seems to be enough to shake this rut. Now, admittedly, there have been some good days in there, and a few REALLY good days here and there, but the fact is that it all goes back to the same old thing. I land right back in the rut where I started. This is rather perplexing. And I also have the sneaking suspicion that this rut is slowly but surely converting my normal optimistic outlook on life to a very ugly cynical pessimism... This is a problem. (Yeah, it's a problem when a rut is slowly altering my overall outlook on life.) (Any suggestions kids??)
1.6.05 - "I'm an asshole, not a total fucking asshole." ~Corey K.
Merril Bainbridge - "State of Mind"
Corey Taylor - "Bother"
Wednesday, January 05, 2005
Tuesday, January 04, 2005
I've come to the realization that a long-term relationship and eventual marriage might not be for me. Please, hear me out, and don't get me wrong. I still have hopes and dreams of (at some point in the distant future) finding someone to share the rest of my life with, and hopefully have many beautiful children with. I still hope to land a wonderful man who will love me for all of my quirky, idiotic, senseless-weirdness, who will make out with me when I want to make out, and buy me things like season tickets to the Cubs (although I'd settle for just one or two games a season if that's all we can manage) ... and who will occasionally do "man things" like kill nasty bugs and stuff. I know that I'm asking for something there, and I know that love is about compromise, but I've also recently come to the realization that I am "Difficult."
Yes, you read it here first kids, I AM DIFFICULT!
- I don't like it when people talk too much.
- I don't like it when people take credit for things they are supposed to do anyway.
- I don't like it when people take credit for the things that other people do.
- I don't like it when people don't do the things they are supposed to do.
- I don't like it when people are unwilling to sleep in the bed that they make for themselves... basically I want people to understand what responsibility is, and how it applies to them, whether they like it or not.
- I don't like it when people don't practice what they preach.
- I don't like it when people act one way in front of some people and act another way as soon as they are gone. (there is a difference between this and situationally apropriate behavior)
- I don't like it when people who are supposed to be mature adults don't know how to behave.
- I don't like it when adults forget or don't know how to talk to/treat kids.
- I don't like it when people are too pretentious for their own good.
- I don't like it when people are not willing to say "I'm sorry" or "I made a mistake"
- I don't like it when people show no consideration for others.
- I don't like it when people are oblivious to their own idiocy and are unable to laugh at themselves.
1.3.05 - "For some or other reason this evening, I was thinking about protection, about the ways we learn to shield our soft-shelled thin-skinned selves as we get older, as our bones knit, as our emotional membranes become more selectively permeable. It becomes methodical, I think, over time the choreography of revelation and reservation: the active process of self-possession requires us to be our own spin doctors and gatekeepers, summoning our discretionary resources of persuasion to alter the way our personalities unfurl, to time-lapse our childhoods, to finesse our rough edges. And indeed, I think there comes to be such a thing as "perfect" frankness but it's not necessarily an act of total disclosure so much as it is a distillation of detail, an evolving presentation. It's something that happens as we grow into ourselves. Well, at least where some of us are concerned, at any rate." ~Sally's away message (She just had to go and get all philosophical on us)
1.4.05 - "So, I was on flight from Colorado, sitting peacefully and reading before take off when the flight attendant started doing the regular schpeal about the buckles and oxygen masks when all of a sudden I heard her say, "Did someone loose a wallet?" As soon as EVERYONE started reaching for their carry-ons, we were informed that it was merely a way to get people to pay attention. Boo Marcie, boo. " ~Another gem from Sally
1.5.05 - Marie is going to Italy...she is gonna find a big, buff, sensitive, beautiful, English-speaking (but cute Italian accent), wealthy, dark haired, chisled featured, big-nosed, funny, witty, exciting, intelligent man to fall in love with. after she introduces him to me - i suppose that she can start looking for a man for herself. ~ My buddy Joe. (Yes, Joe with an E, he is a boy.)
TOTD (I still don't know if you kids like this feature or not, and whether or not to keep doing it... some feedback would be appreciated)
Madonna - "Frozen" (because we've got snow and coldness here)
Stroke 9 - "We were wrong" (because I like it when people can say they are wrong as I noted above.)
Bright Eyes - "Lover I Don't Have to Love"
Monday, January 03, 2005
I do have to work today, I need to go to the bank, and I DESPERATELY have to clean my room, but after I'm done with all of that you can bet that you kids are tops on my list of priorities.
I had a dream last night that I ran into Paris Hilton while shopping and she bought me some really expensive stuff... and I felt sorry for her. Although now I can't think of why I felt bad. But then again I don't shop anywhere Paris Hilton would ever shop, and I REALLY don't think she's going to buy me anything... so I'm not too concerned about that.
I'm going to need to overstock on quotes of the day because I'm getting ready to go on my real vacation to Florida and I will not be posting for a week... either that or I can just post the good quotes from the trip when I get back along with a trip recap... we'll see!
I miss Dave... he is a poop about keeping in touch lately!
Happy Birthday Nicole!