An epiphany of sorts.

I have actually known this one was coming for quite some time. This has been one of those slow moving ideas that kind of rolls around in your head like a little snowball, and after it rolls around for a little while, it gets bigger and bigger, and it includes more and more information, until all of a sudden it falls off a cliff and SPLAT, it lands right on your noggin.

This particular revelation has to do with relationships. (Friendships, romantic relationships, etc.) and it took an episode of Sex and the City to cause the SPLAT. (SPLAT being the ultimate epiphany.)

I've been formulating this for quite some time. I looked at my successful friendships. I looked at the friendships of people around me, (the friendships of my friends with other people which I found hard to understand). I looked at the successful romantic relationships of people around me (as I obviously don't have any successful romantic relationships to speak of at the moment, or for quite some time for that matter...) And I think I've figured it out. I think I know what it is that makes it all work... the thing that holds all the real relationships together. It's not sex, it's not money, it's not sharing the pursuit of a common goal. Although all of these things can be found in certain successful relationships, that's not what makes them work.

So, what is it then? What holds it all together? What keeps us coming back to people for love, friendship, etc? I'll tell you. It's the understood knowledge (whether we realize it or not) that being with this person, this friend, this significant other, makes us better. It's not that they complete us, it's not that they make us feel better about ourselves, it is that being with this person makes us better because being in their company brings out the best in us.

We are that much better because we are understood, we are not judged. We are that much more easily able to laugh or to smile. We are supported when we need help, and we are told the ugly truth when that's what we need (even if it might not be what we want to hear).

So there it is. My advice to you. Go where the wind blows you, be who you are, and surround yourself with people who allow you to be you, and make you feel better for being no more or no less than what you are. Keep close ties with those who make you better, and let the rest go. The rest is just unnecessary baggage. It's money, and things, and goals, they blind us from what's really important, just being us, and being the best versions of us we can be, and cultivating the relationships with those who make us better. Because in the end it's not about the things we owned in life, the wealth we amassed, but rather it's about the lives we touched and the people we cherished.

The relationship might not be the prettiest thing to an outsider, then again, it might be deceptively pretty and simple, but then again the reality of the insides can also be dramatically different than the outside might appear. It may be impossible to comprehend for anyone who doesn't know it on an intimate level, but that doesn't matter. All that matters is that unspoken understanding that exists inside the safe confines of the relationship itself. The unspoken knowledge that this other person makes you just THAT MUCH better.