I do sincerely apologize for my lack of posting this weekend. There are many topics to cover, so let's just dive right in!

• Friday was Jennifer's birthday, so instead of going to class I went to Jewel and got all the stuff I needed to make her a cake. (Jennie left to go to NW Indiana for the evening before the cake was completed, but that's ok, we celebrated on Saturday instead!)
• So, Friday night I had the apartment to myself, I wanted to paint but didn't. Instead, I drank alone, cleaned my room, and toyed with the idea of making out with a boy. (Fortunately for all involved that didn't happen... Just trust me here, this one was a good makeout for me to avoid.)
• Saturday I loafed about, did some reading (though not as much as I should have) and then went to Joe's for beer and the IU game.
• Saturday night was VIP time. We pre-drank a bit at home, I called Dave from the cab, and in typical form he didn't answer, nor did he return the call. (I think he's ignoring me in the hopes I will forget that he hasn't followed through with Christmas gift exchange yet... no such luck.) So, we went to Hi-tops (where I nearly had to choke a bitch, but more on that in a bit) and Barleycorn's (where, unlike my birthday weekend, I actually remember being upstairs this time) to celebrate the anniversary of my roommate's birth, and we actually called it a night pretty early. (We all know that while I love Wrigley, and all it stands for in the spring and summer months, you also know how much I hate the wrigleyville bar scene.) So general tiredness of all of that plus a little drama (once again not MY drama) and the impending field trip (more on that in a moment) caused us to phone it in and end the night fairly early. (Sorry Natey-kins, no rockstar effort this time.)
• We came home, had some cake and other drunken carbs, and went to bed. Pretty standard evening with the added bonus of birthday cake! (I also had the most cracked out dream ever, involving the alien thing from the Predator movies, my buddy Jeff, a tennis ball, a giant shrubbery maze, bad breath, and people I went to high school with and have not spoken to since graduation... but that has nothing to do with anything else... but I digress.)
  
• Sunday I was required to get up earlier than I honestly wanted to because I had to go to the Art Institute for an art history field trip. (Yes, a class field trip on a SUNDAY MORNING... I'll get into the details of this in a moment... but let's just say that this trip caused me to further detest my professor and this class.)
• I then bought a loaf of bread entirely in change because I am poor.
• I took a nap.
• I watched a Cold Case Files mini-marathon for like 4 hours because I LOVE that show.
  
• I watched Project Runway because it is the one reality show I can actually handle, but only because it's done by Bravo Network, and it's about artistic design instead of just being cute people with money and problems. I'm hooked. Oh, and sincer we're on the topic of the Bravo Network, I would also like to take this opportunity to add that when I get the chance to watch, I also love Inside the Actors Studio with James Lipton, and Significant Others. BLOODY BRILLIANT! (I heart Bravo Network!)
• We are once again current.

Ok, so now we're going to take a more in-depth approach a few afforementioned topics.

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Ok, I said I was about to choke a bitch at Hi-Tops, here's why: (A tip sheet of sorts.)

1. When people are three-to-five deep at the bar waiting on a drink, this is not the time for you to start thinking you are cute so you can slide in front of me right when I get to the bar.
2. If you do decide to make the mistake of sliding in front of me, this is not the time to camp out at the bar... In fact, I advise you to get what you came for and hurry away before I have a chance to memorize what you look like so that I can track you down later and throw down.
3. If you decide to compound your previous mistake of sliding in with camping out, this is not the time to continually flip your hair in my face and pretend I'm not there, especially when I have already voiced my problem with your existence at the current place and time.

We all know that Lizzle has been in a bar fight before, and she did not lose. This might be the one time I am grateful for my current build. We all know that Lizzle will step outside, bodyslam and/or choke a bitch, and walk right back in. Please violate guidelines at your own peril.

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So now that we've covered the Saturday night perils list, let's move on to my Sunday field trip to the Art Institute. (A list of issues I have with the field trip, as well as the art institute itself)

1. I don't like having to cut any weekend evening adventure short to do school-related things... this includes field trips, some reading (though certainly not all) as well as attending things that I would not ordinarily attend on a weekend.
2. I don't like having to get up earlier than normal (Weekend wakeup time should be significantly later than school week waking. This applies to phone rules as well as school nonsense.)
   
3. I don't like being told that attendance is mandatory when in fact roll is not taken so I could totally lie and say I was there.
4. I don't like having to spend my laundry money to attend this field trip which I was told was mandatory, and thus not be able to do laundry, and also have to buy a loaf of bread entirely with dimes and pennies.
   
5. I do not like spending three and a half hours in one thirty yard span of one hallway listening to my professor drone on about the same features of the same or HIGHLY SIMILAR works of art that she has aldready, or will eventually drone on about in normal class lecture. When in doubt, say the most basic facts, open it up to questions, and let people look at what they are actually interested in.
6. Rule #5 applies especially harshly when I am only expected to listen to said professor in 50 minute stretches on a normal school day. Four times longer than standard lecture is especially unacceptable on a Sunday morning.
7. Do not act like you're teaching us something new, when you are merely reading the tags that describe each object and then re-stating the things we've already covered in class.
8. Do not repeat the same thing 9 times, even if it applies to 9 different objects... BELIEVE ME, we made it into college, we understand that culturally stylized features apply to multiple things.

Now, lets address my love-hate relationship with the Art Institute:

• Being an art student, and one who is generally appreciative of the fine arts, I LOVE going to the Art Institute.
  
• I love the different smells in the galleries that you just can't find elsewhere, sometimes it's the smell of fine paper, sometimes it's the smell of oils, or acrylics, sometimes it's the slight remainder of India Ink, or the cold stone smell that seems permanently mentally associated with big old churches and the fine marble they tend to contain. (It takes an appreciation of art and a sensitive nose to really get this one.)
  
• I love looking at all the fine details the master works that you can't see in a book.
• I love the feeling of being totally inspired and ready to create something beautiful and lasting that I get while I am at the Art Institute.
• I hate visiting the Art Institute, because while I have all those other reasons for loving it, at the same time looking at all the masterpieces makes me feel very inadequate as an artist.
• I hate it because I think you should have to know something about art in order to go and talk to people in your group about it because I am forced to listen to people who are content with their artistic ignorance. Nothing bothers me more than standing in a room full of incredible pieces of modern art, like a Jackson Pollock, and have people walk up and say, "It's just a bunch of splatters." (*Example from today: I was standing in a room looking at a Pollock today, an ignorant old woman was looking at another painting on the wall behind me... (A Mark Rothko, 4 color modern, featuring an orange ground, with 3 horizontal rectangles one purple, one red, and one white) and she was like, "Oh this one is PATRIOTIC!" I REALLY wanted to turn around and say "You are an idiot. You either need to read the tag and educate yourself, or get out of this gallery and stop breathing my air.") (This is probably the kind of comment that makes me a bad person.)
  
• I also hate the Art Institute because of the presence of kids and parents. Please don't get me wrong, I love kids, and I'm all for exposing kids to viewing artistic masterpieces, but COME ON PEOPLE! TEACH THEM about the art, don't just walk up to a Salvador Dali, a VanGogh, or a Picasso and say "Look at the pretty colors!" Try to explain to a kid what it is that they are looking at (within reason) Tell them about line, and form, and texture. EDUCATE YOUR CHILDREN, I mean if you're going to bring the kids to see the art, then you should do something to bring the art to a kid's level, even if it's just reading the tag next to a work that the kid seems to show an interest in. Engage them in some kind of thought process.
  

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In the next entry I will catch up the quotes of the day and cover the Lizzle scale for irritation. But at present it is after 2 AM and I must be going to bed so that I can get up and go to art history in the morning.