I know in that last post I mentioned how well my family knew me, and how well they can shop for me, but I don't think I'd be anything resembling truthful if I neglected to mention that this is a rough Christmas for me this year.
I'm not fishing for sympathy, or looking for your pity, I just think it's the kind of thing that bears mentioning.
So why are things so rough?
Well, there are several things, not the least of which is that I don't get to see my mom at all during the holidays this year. (I know she reads this page, and if she sees that written before it makes it to the bottom of the page, it will break her heart; that is also not my intention.) The fact is that my mom is my best friend, and I haven't seen her since this summer, so also missing her during the holiday, especially when I am this close to home is kind of difficult for me. In addition to that, my dad is taking me to see my grandmother at her nursing home in a couple of days... That is ALWAYS rough. She is bed-ridden and mentally "out to lunch" as my father so eloquently puts it. It's hard to see anyone you love take on such a helpless way of life. Especially when you know it is not something that was characteristic of them in better times. I hate to be such a "Debbie Downer" but it tears me apart and drains me of the little joy I've been able to manage recently. If it weren't for my sisters and my nephews being the incredible people they are, you'd probably find me curled up in the fetal position, drooling and incoherently mumbling. I would be a broken shell of my former self because, well let's face it, aside from the joy they bring into my life, it's been hard to smile lately.
I've got a few pictures and some quotes, but I will post them later because they are not handy at the moment... and after that depressing post, I need something to hook you into coming back later, because lord knows you don't come back because of the inspirational writing.