Thursday, December 07, 2006

Slinking quietly in through the back door, trying not to wake anyone...

You all know the feeling, I'm sure. Knowing that my writing caters mostly to current (and former) delinquents, I have no doubt that you have all at one time or another come home EXCESSIVELY late, curfew blown completely and utterly to bits, and you've done everything in your limited power to stalk in and stay under the radar of one or both parents or a particularly anal retentive spouse or significant other who knows down to the millisecond when you actually walked in the door as opposed to when you were SUPPOSED to walk in the door, no matter how stealthily slick you thought you were. And of course your social calendar thereafter went much the same way as a post-Katrina New Orleans... Blown to bits beyond recognition, and rebuilding would undoubtedly take an extended period of time and immense amounts of effort... Yeah, you've been there... And I know it! No need to hang your head in shame. You're in good company.

Well, basically, that's what I'm trying to do. Slink in the back, hoping that people won't realize that I've put off my posting "curfew" for a week, and that when the inevitable wrath comes down hoping it won't be too harsh... Based on the comments in the last post, and the fact that I just pointed out that I've been gone for a week, (twice now,) I am not too optimistic about my stealthy-slinking-back-in skills. In fact, I basically pulled into the driveway with the high-beams on and the horn blowing, then I slammed the back door, and I yelled, "I'M HOME! DEAL WITH ME AS YOU SEE FIT." (I've found in my time that this tactic can actually be quite effective, provided you're dealing with someone who respects honesty, and you don't come in reeking of booze, smoke, with dilated pupils, or smelling like someone else's perfume/cologne as the case may be... But I digress.)

Basically I have hit a giant wall (think: formidable and height-equivalent to Everest)... And that wall is covered in ice, reinforced with solid steel plating, covered in thorns, riddled with pockets of sulfuric acid, and everything else that makes the proverbial wall pretty much indestructible and unscalable. Yeah, that's the wall I've hit. Basically VERY few people are hiring anyone, and those that are hiring are paying slave wages or are looking for someone with 10 or more years of experience in any given field. (Seriously. 10+ years of experience to get a foot in the door!?!?! No, really, stop laughing. I have seen multiple ads like this.) The callbacks are extremely limited and the interviews are virtually non-existent. Basically, it's a REALLY shitty time to be out of work. And so after submitting my resume to any and every position I think I am even REMOTELY qualified for on a daily basis, I reside quietly in my apartment and I climb the walls in a mix of desperation, depression, and boredom. I have been knitting like mad just to keep my hands occupied and come up with cheap, but lovingly-crafted Christmas gifts, because let's face it, I'm not buying anything for anyone at this point.

I try to live by the axiom that excuses are like assholes, everybody's got one, and it's usually just covering up a bunch of total shit. But if it's an excuse, or even a line of reasoning you want, then just know that I didn't want to bore you with the tedious nature of my recent days. And seeing as I can't really afford to get out much, I don't have much of anything new to report about the outside world either. That's the gist of it.

There's other stuff to say, but seeing as I've got nothing else going on, I'll save it for another post on another day... And I'll try to post it in less than a week next time. And I'll try to manage some pictures for you too...

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