Monday, January 21, 2008

Get your ass to the ER!

Ok, so if we're related, if you haven't already checked yourself in, you're probably going to be in the hospital in the next few days... At least that's what'll happen if the current trend continues!

First it was grandpa and his broken elbow.

Then it was my eldest sister with a ruptured cyst causing her to bleed into her abdomen, and require surgery.

Then my other older sister gets hit by an idiot running a red light, totaling her car and requiring a hospital stay and an epidural to control the pain in her back...

Now momma isn't feeling so sparky, but she thinks she'll live, and I've been nursing what feels like a seriously pulled muscle in my ass for a few days. Basically, we're all just falling apart.

To add insult to injury, I quit smoking on Friday, (I didn't smoke heavily to begin with, but just enough to notice a difference in my demeanor when quitting, which adds another reason to jump on that wagon,) and I lost my debit card on Saturday.

Losing one's debit card when working with the degenerates I have the dubious pleasure of calling my clients REALLY challenged my commitment to the quitting smoking thing. I admit I wanted one when I stressed out because I couldn't find it. I admit to wanting another when I had to retrace my steps in bitter cold and still couldn't find it. ...And then had to call the folks in India who handle the outsourced call load to Visa because apparently my bank's telephone doesn't get answered on weekends, and having to speak VERY SLOWLY, VERY CLEARLY, and having to spell everything out anyway, I admit that I wanted more than one when struggling with that mess! But I didn't give in. Largely because I had only checks to pay for things, and when I called my mom to tell her that I needed Dr. Pepper to get through the cravings, and that if I were to go to a gas station or grocery store to get Dr. Pepper, and I had to use a check, there is no way that Dr. Pepper would be the only thing I'd be buying because at this point my dedication had been challenged to the upper limits, and momma being the wonderful woman that she is, she braved the cold, brought me Dr. Pepper, and prevented me from further polluting my lungs. (YAY MOMMA!)

Based on the current trend though, I'm expecting to either hack up a lung anyway, or be diagnosed by some doctor on the street with emphysema by random chance... Either way, I'm glad that my insurance premiums are paid up.

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