Tuesday, January 01, 2008

"In and out" is more than just a burger joint...

So the new year brings all kinds of good intentions and resolutions. Out with the old, and in with the new. Well, after seeing pictures of myself at the new year's party I attended, I very rapidly adopted the resolution to lose weight by any legal (reasonably healthy) means necessary. I am taking a different approach though. I am taking an approach which is not adherent to numbers on a scale. Basically, I have opted to forgo knowing my starting weight, and thus I will have no CONCRETE idea as to how much weight I will lose. The goal is not a number, because as far as weight goes, the numbers can lie to you. The goal is to start living healthier, looking better and feeling better. I am tired of feeling tired. I am sick of seeing pictures of myself and becoming ill at the sight of my image. A lifestyle change of improved diet and increased exercise is in order. This basically means that in addition to other changes, I'm going to have to set up a system to curb the consumption of empty calories in the form of cocktails after work. (We all know that quitting altogether is not an option, not with my history as a bartender/lush, or my current job which frequently drives me to the bottle as a coping mechanism.)

But with the resolution portion of this post out of the way, let's get on with the 2007 recap... I promise to try to keep it brief.

2007 did not start off well for the Lizzle. In January I had to leave my old Chicago home for reasons beyond my control. This was a devastating blow, and when you go through that kind of earth shattering, ego-crushing shift of reality, (especially when you consider the shitty 2006 that I had,) you need to take a little time to reassess everything you thought you knew. I decided to forgo the paradigm shift contemplations, opting to put a lot of emotional and otherwise difficult issues on a back burner and focus solely on finding gainful employment.

Within three weeks of my return home I had physically recovered from the efforts involved with moving, and then continually living out of boxes. I had tracked down the most key parts of my interviewing attire in a wardrobe which was still almost totally in boxes and bags, and I had found myself a job. Was it a high paying awesome job which required little or no actual effort on my part? No. Was it a demanding job requiring all kinds of effort and dedication to an ideal for (in the grand scheme of things,) a pittance of a wage? Yes. But it was a job. And a job is what I needed. And was it rewarding in other ways? Yes... Kind of. Some days are better than others, and some days I might as well stand in a corner banging my head against the walls while wailing for all I end up accomplishing... But in point of fact if I were to bang my head on the walls, I would likely have to go to the hospital to get stitches where I would undoubtedly end up meeting a hot doctor who would eventually become my husband, and he would decide he wanted to support me totally and whisk me away to a paradise and all of my dreams would come true. But I don't want any more scar tissue on my face, so obviously that's out.

So then came the issue of housing. After roughly two months of cohabitation with my mother and her ultra-cantankerous codger of a father, it was concluded by all parties that the living arrangement was not working for anyone, and that while my finances were sure to recover faster if I didn't have to pay rent somewhere, the fact was that I had to get out... And FAST. So I moved into the empty residence where I had grown up, and lived alone there for the sake of my sanity... Unfortunately for me, about a month after that decision, the house sold, and I had to find a reasonably priced apartment where I ran no risk of running into my clientèle. After making the rounds on my limited days off, (because time off is something one only dreams of when you're starting out in my office,) I found a feasible option and moved YET AGAIN and upon signing my lease, relinquished my title as nomadic Lizzle for the time being. So I finally got settled, removed my life from the carefully packed boxes, invested in rent, security deposit, and required furniture, and continued working hard for the greater good, aspiring to improve the lives of abused and neglected children. This of course comes with some major frustrations, and occasionally feeling like I was totally out of my depth when scoring parenting inventories and on occasion going through psych assessments to avert suicides on my caseload... (Yeah... I work for my money.)

But summer came and went, we had the annual family reunion, and along with fall came my trip to visit The Admiral. The trip to see The Admiral brought with it a new goal, and of course, copious amounts of hilarity and amusing pictures and anecdotes. Then my best friend in this neck of the woods decided she was going to have herself a baby, and I lost her to motherhood forever, further cutting into my already languishing social calendar.

Then came winter, and my trip to Chicago. It was an emotional ride and I was suddenly faced with a lot of those emotional and otherwise difficult issues which had been placed on the back burner much earlier in the year... I'm still working on that mess.

The year finished out with a couple of Christmas parties, and a new year's bash at cousin Tarreck's house. 2007 was sent off in fine style considering its incredibly high level of craptastic-ness. Pictures will be posted... EVENTUALLY.

So here it is 2008 and I'm really hoping that things improve from here. I mean there are only so many things which can go awry, and most of them already have, so 2008 doesn't have much further to descend down the tubes before hitting rock bottom, right? (I suppose I shouldn't say that, because by saying it, I tempt the fates to prove to me that things can totally end up sucking worse and encouraging them to start mining down into the bedrock... My luck does not EVER end up with magically mining into a vast cavern encrusted with diamonds and slick with untapped oil reserves, so we're just going to hope that things take that turn for the better.)

Cheers to sending out that craphole of a year known as 2007... And here's hoping that 2008 is all sunshine, moonbeams, lollipops, rainbows, and unicorns! I hope you all had a great new year!

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