The day I've so eagerly anticipated for the last 18 months has nearly arrived! It's almost finally here! The one handed countdown has begun! T-minus 5 days until I can make my way out of hell once and for all! Saints be praised! And I managed to do it all without contracting any funky diseases, without getting shot or stabbed, without so much as a black eye! I did have a few bumps and bruises, one sprained ankle, a few scrapes, one dog bite, and a lot of nights where sleep was fitful at best and nonexistent at worst, but all in all, I made it out relatively unscathed.
I can't say the same for the poop shoes, which tragically did not survive to see this glorious day, nor the articles of clothing worn into the scabies and lice house... but all in all, we've made it out in one piece.
I am composing this post now, instead of at the end of the week, because I can say without much hesitation that nothing is going to happen to me this week... I know this, because contrary to what my superiors believe, I am perfectly ok with phoning it in for the last few days when I don't have to worry about accountability. I've already passed my cases on to other people who will work them in a manner less impressive than my own, so I'm not overly concerned with someone questioning anything I have done so far... I know this because I got results. And everyone knows I didn't walk out when I had to treat the scabies house for lice, so they probably figure I'm a person of principle... Those silly, silly folks! They've crushed my soul enough. I think it's only fair that I get one week of slacktasticness on the clock!
5 days mother bitches! FIVE DAYS!
On a scale of one to ten rating my happiness to exit that hell known as my workplace, I'm going to rate my pleasure somewhere in the 67.437 range.
... Man I rock so hard at life!