Monday, August 18, 2008

I took geometry back in the day...

When I was in high school, so very long ago, one of the required courses was geometry. I always found geometry came to me rather easily, and I found it very easy to work on a problem with concrete parameters and an easy translation for applications in real life. I never had a problem with algebra either, and I certainly see the real world applications there, too. But once we're getting into imaginary numbers and irrational functions... Well, I'm sorry, if I have to dream up a number because it doesn't exist, and I have to deal with the math being irrational, when I've got friends on the rag who bring plenty of irrationality into my life, well, sorry math, I just can't be bothered.

I mention the topic of geometry because during the recent job search, I have inadvertently stumbled upon the geometry lesson that they don't tell you about in high school.

Ladies and gentlemen, I am of course speaking of the grand pyramid scheme.

Every day, I go to the job search sites I apply to the jobs that look legit, I look for new ads in the paper, I avoid the ads that look a little hinky, or where the salary seems ridiculously high or low for the demands of the job, anything requiring an initial investment on my part, or anything else which raises the ol' mental red flags. And along with the bevy of typical response e-mails indicating that my application has been received, I somehow always manage to also capture the attention of bitches who think I'd be just GREAT at selling life insurance or financial planning services... Trust me people, my life is not insured, and my finances are a wreck... In fact, my life isn't insured probably as a direct result of my finances being a wreck. Simply put, I'm not your girl! And yet they keep calling and e-mailing and stroking my ego by telling me that my work experience and my resume are wonderful, then they tell me what they want me to do. Some of these companies have apparently never heard of, because when I check them out to do my pre-interview homework, the vast reaches of the internet reveal a plethora of disgruntled folks who were taken in by the superficial glitter applied in attempts to conceal the congealed, pale, moldy underbelly of their corporate reality. And can you believe it, those disgruntled people who thought it would be ok to work for those folks because they just wanted a job, and then found out that they were being taken advantage of, well believe it or not they take to the realms of the internet to give voice to their displeasure.

Apparently I am the only one doing my homework, because there are a crap ton of these people out there saying that they had no indication that they were involved in a pyramid scheme until they were hired and being taken advantage of, in the form of being asked to recruit friends and family, or supply contact information of loved ones to the assholes in charge so that the newly hired peons could advance beyond their unpaid training period.

Well, my momma didn't raise no fool! And unlike those poor bastards, I am smart enough to do my homework in advance. This means I don't waste my time with those asshats... I've had enough employers taking advantage of my work ethic and loyalty while under-compensating me.

So there you have it. I'm not an idiot. I've got a legitimate college degree, and the school loan debt to prove it. I've got a solid work history, and skills which would make me a total asset to any company intelligent enough to put me to work and reward me with fair earnings and perhaps a decent benefit package... (I don't think a few days of PTO in the first year is asking too much.)

The fact remains that I took geometry. And you know what? I aced that bitch! And just like those poor Hebrew slaves thousands of years ago, I don't want anything to do with those fucking pyramids!

This post sponsored by: Momma! (Happy birthday, Miss Becky!)

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