No, I'm not talking about little Suri Cruise, but I am definitely referring to a small child.
I am currently working, supervising a visit. The visit is scheduled to be 2.5 hours long. The first half an hour went smoothly. From then on, one of the kids has been screeching.
We've still got an hour left of this mess, and this kid is crying and making that alien noise that little kids are spectacularly good at. Seriously, he sounds A LOT like E.T. It's one thing when it only lasts a few minutes, this has been going on for over an hour, and I'm starting to understand why the parents did drugs... I'd do drugs too if that was all I heard all damn day... Oh wait, that IS what I hear all damn day. Silly Lizzle!
On whatever day that I no longer work in this position, whether through retirement, firing, quitting, or whatever, I am going to have to go on the biggest drug binge ever. You might as well just keep an eye out for Amy Winehouse, because by the time she sobers up, I'll be WASTED all the time like she is now... Only I plan on bathing, maintaining my current tooth count, and not sporting a beehive. Ok, so that makes me more like umm... Well, all the total wastoids I can think of don't tend to bathe, so maybe I'll have to settle for not being a total train wreck and just be a functional recreational drug user like Charlize Theron... Either way, the alien screeching of other people's children will not go without remuneration as far as I'm concerned. I just have to wait it out until I don't have the possibility of random drug screenings threatening my income.