The only thought in my head!

With the holiday this week, (one of the few which my office chooses to recognize and for which they give us a damn day off,) they decided that they didn't want to have to work harder in the office to process our paperwork, so they make us work harder and have it in a day early. (This is another of the lovely ways they choose to fuck with the field workers, but really, that's a whole other ball of wax.) So anyway, I opted out of a nice night of binge drinking and like a good little soldier, I got my paperwork in. But as I was driving along, there was one thought repeatedly cycling through my brain... This one lone thought was was on that automatic one track repeat mode... And I relished it.

All I kept thinking was, "THANK FUCKING GOD I ONLY HAVE TO DO THIS FOR TWO MORE WEEKS!"

Now, while I know everyone's gotta eat, and that usually entails working hard and earning a paycheck, I also know that its not any good for anyone to stay in a working environment which creates a hatred so penetrating that even after notice has been given, the one thought is, one of the "Thank god I'm getting out" category. I mean yeah, we've all had crappy jobs at one point or another, but the thing is, that once you know you're out, your sole all-consuming thought shouldn't be that, but rather focused on, "Oh I'm going to miss so and so..." or "Oh, I hope my new job has X, Y, and Z." Instead, I was focused on getting that paperwork out of my hot little hands, and not gnashing my teeth so hard that I ground them into the tiny broken stubs I see in the mouths of my meth addicted clients every day.

This is especially tragic when you consider the field I'm in. It's one of social service, where we know somewhat about what we're getting into before we ever get there, and we do it anyway out of a sense of service to humanity and helping those who can't seem to help themselves. This is a field where the people doing the heavy lifting are doing it because they have a deep passion for the job, and they are committed to making things better for kids who wouldn't stand a chance otherwise. And in spite of all the positive, socially and morally just reasons to do what I do, I can't wait to be done with it because my office makes it so unbearable that they suck all the passion and humanity out of everyone who works there. So, yeah, I'm leaving a job with a steady paycheck at the beginning of a recession... But I'd rather be unemployed and miserable for a year than work another day for those conniving, scheming bastard assholes. And that's saying something!

A need for clarity

Being as this is a two post day, and comments were limited on my "I'm quitting" post, I feel the need to issue a clarification statement on my own behalf after that last post... Hopefully a few of you out there will give enough of a damn to read the posts and catch up if you're feeling out of the loop.

So here's the thing. My last post mentioned that I told a caseworker that I wanted to punch a woman in the face after spending three hours in a meeting with her. I don't think it's any huge shock to any of you that in the event that if I should (and do) get stuck in a room with someone who lacks any common sense, and who is contradicting my every statement with every breath she takes and every word she speaks when I am speaking on behalf of a child who's interests I'm looking out for, and who she supposedly loves due to familial ties... Well, I'm drunk right now, and losing track of that complex sentence... Anyway, it was obvious that I was looking out for the kid, and this lady was looking out for her worm of a brother who is only in this situation because he was manufacturing meth... If I'm more of an advocate for this kid than her own damn aunt, that's saying something, and I had every right to want to punch her in the face. The case worker loved it, and even if I wasn't leaving in two weeks, once they'd left the room, I'd have said the exact same thing in the exact same context. I didn't say it in front of the boss who runs the show that pays my salary, and even if it was, I'm pretty sure he'd have been right there backing me up, and in point of fact, probably reiterating my point by stating that he too wanted to punch her in the face! The doc is down with that in certain situations.

The fact is that I implied to the doc weeks ago that I was leaving and that I would be grateful for a letter of recommendation for my grad school application. He indicated then that he would be more than happy to oblige. So unless over the course of the next two weeks I lose my gourd completely, and show up to the office with my handy dandy grenade launcher, and a borrowed uzi, I think I've got my recommendation in the bag.

Either way, I'm out of there in two weeks and the end can't come soon enough! Every day my smile grows a little wider, and is a little bit harder to wipe off, even in totally inappropriate situations... In fact, I'd say that now more than ever I smile at the worst times, because I just think to myself, "Oh, I am so out of here, and in two weeks I'll never have to think about putting up with this particular brand of bullshit EVER again!" And if that ain't worth a smile, I don't know what is!

In the words of William Wallace, "FREEEEEEEEDOOOOOOOM!"

Knowing that I'm not going to be around my workplace much longer has certainly afforded me a newfound freedom. Yeah, I was pretty liberal with running my mouth around the office before, and caring very little what most people thought about what I had to say, now that I don't have to worry about retaining my position, I don't worry what comes out of my mouth AT ALL.

It has gotten so ridiculous that after a lengthy meeting with a case worker, (who dictates how things go on the case) my co-workers, the family involved, and people whom they were allowed to invite to the meeting, I waited until the room was cleared of everyone but the caseworker and my coworkers, and said, "I don't know about any of you, but for the last three hours I've just wanted nothing more than to punch that woman in the face!" This statement might have been a compromise of my professionalism to an extent, but judging by the response it got, I know that I was not alone. Either way, it's probably not something that could or should be said in front of a case worker when one is interested in keeping their position.

This shit just cracks me up and makes me so damn happy that I won't have to deal with it anymore!

Well, there's that...

Ok, so the doctor's visit was kind of bullshit. We're not going to get into it because the more I think about it, the madder I get. The upswing is that I'm pretty sure that the river has run dry. (YAY!)

And then there's work... I went in today and despite being able to put it off a bit longer, I went ahead and submitted 3 weeks notice... So basically, I'm feeling like this guy:



Like him, I quit my job, and will soon have no income, but who cares, because right now, I FEEL GREAT!

To use one of Elaine's favorite words, HOLY FRIJOLES!

Skip this italic paragraph if you don't even want to think about something vaguely gross..

Ok, so... Turns out that my original calculations of my ongoing battle with Aunt Flo were inaccurate. We are now at day 25. Still no signs of stopping. I have got an appointment to get things checked out, but that won't happen until next Monday. I've tried getting in before that, and, well, it just ain't happening! If things haven't improved before then, I'll probably be a shriveled mass on my bathroom floor, because this constant fluid loss is taking it's toll on me. Seriously... There is absolutely NO REASON that this should be happening. It's totally uncalled for, and if I weren't so drained of all energy due to a chronic fatigue which set in around day 9, well, let's just say I'd be hell on wheels... Much more than usual.

Ok, now that that's behind us, let's move on to more pleasant things. The Admiral's visit went well, and we are both getting excited about my transition to Ohio... Yeah, you read that right, I'm actually excited to move to Ohio. I hope that's an indication of just how ridiculous things are here. We've already had a firing and two people quit without giving any kind of notice this week... That's just this week... We had something like 4 people quit and 2 get fired last week... It's an ongoing trend, and considering the whole company over the vast expanses of the state only employs something like 150 people, this turnover rate is obscene! One would think that the company would wise up and start treating their people better so that they could keep them a little longer, but apparently they are happy with killing our souls, and destroying their own reputation to the point where no one will ever want to work there. It's sad that I've been there for 18 months and I have a year's seniority over people who are considered senior staff members... I mean if you've been there 6 months you are considered a senior member of the staff? ARE YOU KIDDING ME? I honestly don't even bother learning people's names until they've been there for 4 or 5 months, because so few stick around for any real length of time. But hey, it's not my company, and I'm leaving in a month, so what the hell do I care?

I'll have pictures up from the Admiral's visit and a few other events up in the not too distant future.

As the Admiral was a political science major in her undergraduate studies, I will now leave you with the BEST political rant that I've seen in a VERY LONG TIME.

I know it sounds like I'm just brushing you off...

I'm not trying to imply that your words of wisdom are not worthy of my attention, but I REALLY don't think that this issue is stress related.

Despite all the other crap going on in my little corner of the universe, I'm actually pretty calm about all of it. I've mellowed considerably since giving notice on my apartment so that I can move when the time comes, and that has put a light at the end of the tunnel for my working woes, and those woes really are my worst. I mean yeah, like most people, I still have the occasional worry about money issues, and I've still yet to figure out how I'm going to get all of my crap moved, but honestly, I don't think that this is a stress generated issue. The only thing that's got me stressing is the fact that it's been going on for 16 days, and shows no signs of abating. I've been taking iron supplements just to make sure that I'm not so anemic that I pass out on the job.

And the upswing of that mess, is that I'm a really cheap date when I head to the bar! Seriously, like three drinks, and I'm properly buzzed, which only further reduces my stress levels.

The Admiral is headed into town on Friday evening, so I'll be getting properly schnockered all weekend long! Pictures and post to follow!

Dear fan, prepare to meet a large heap of shit...

Yeah, as miserable as things have been lately, there are no signs of any kind of improvement.

As excited as I am to quit my job, I am not putting in my notice until the last possible moment. I will give appropriate notice, but I'm not saying anything until I absolutely have to. Why? Because I don't want to get stuck with some half-wit trainee who I would get the dubious honor of training. Yeah, our office, despite an astronomically high turnover rate, and an abysmally low job satisfaction rate, expects the current workers to train the folks that they hire to replace those of us who have the good sense to get out now... Even when we're on our way out the door. Personally, I think it's beyond unprofessional to ask people who are quitting to train the newbies, I mean it's a more accurate picture for the newbies, but once you've established to the supervisors that you're outie boom boutie, there are all kinds of things you're willing to say to some slack-jawed peon who is just coming aboard which you wouldn't be willing to say if you were at all concerned about long term job security.

In other work related news, the Tuesday morning staff meeting was just loaded with all kinds of half-cocked, harebrained idiocy which serves no purposes other than to reduce morale, cheat the field workers who are the ones out there doing the work that generates all the money, and generally piss everyone off... But someone thought it sounded good... (Someone was HIGHLY mistaken.) And from what I gather, based on numerous reports from my friends at various levels and positions around the office, things are only going to get worse... I can't imagine how, but someone over there will dream up a way! They always do. I'm told to be glad that I'm getting out now because things are supposedly going to get REALLY REALLY ugly, and they are supposed to get really ugly REALLY fast.

In other working world news, the job that I was counting on jumping to once I moved is not mine. They hired someone else because they were already local and they didn't want to wait for me to move... So I'm moving anyway, and hopefully I'll find something to go to. And if I don't, I'll just leech off of The Admiral for a little while.

In more personal news, I was originally just joking about that Lyme disease thing... Turns out, not so much a joke anymore, as the site of the tick bite on my hip has remained red and itchy... Not a good sign. I've been taking antibiotics as a precaution, but things are slow to improve. This really fits in with my luck.

Speaking of my bad luck and apparently poor health, (please cease and desist all reading now if you are at all squeamish about the human body or it's many disgusting processes).

I've called to get a doctor's appointment not only to get that tick bite checked out, but also because I am suffering from major fatigue, and anemia. I'm suffering these problems because I have had a really long bout with the female curse. We're talking like continuous uninterrupted flow for over 2 weeks now... I have called my doctor, but it seems the first available appointment is in 2 weeks. Meanwhile, my hemorrhaging and my general misery might very well persist.

When I called to make the appointment, the receptionist asked if I was just scheduling an annual exam. I told her I needed to schedule an annual too, but at the moment I was having a pretty significant problem. I noted that I'd been flowin' down the red river for a good 16 days now, and she asked if that was it, or if I had any other symptoms such as cramping or headaches... I think this woman must be some kind of rocket scientist, because I told her, "Yeah, I've been having headaches and cramping, and some serious fatigue, but last time I checked those were part of the standard period package... The heavy bleeding for 16 continuous days on the other hand, not quite so much something I was ready for." I'm calling again tomorrow and getting upset if they don't at least make an effort to squeeze me in sooner, lest I bleed out in the meantime.

Someone just shoot me and put me out of my misery.

Heebie Jeebies...

If that last post didn't make you itch merely out of the power of suggestion, then this one should be a cake walk.

So I went about my business today, working hard. (Yeah, right, who are we kidding here?) And upon the completion of my duties, I came home, had dinner, made some calls, and then went to Traci and Addison's house to wrap gifts for a friend's bachelorette party. (Yeah, just an FYI, it's not a wise idea to invite me or Traci to your bachelorette party... Rather than being all demure and getting cutesy lingerie, Traci and I raunch it up in the best/worst possible way!) But all of this is beside the point.

After having completed our wrapping, Traci and I were sitting out on her balcony. We chatted for a bit, and before leaving I stated that I needed to use their bathroom. After doing my business, I look down at my hip to see a little dark spot that I was not accustomed to seeing. I look a little closer, and wouldn't you know, it's a tick! Naturally, I was surprised by the presence of this creature on my person, as I have not been camping, or hanging out in any wooded areas at any point during my work day, and I know that I rather thoroughly check myself out for any other abnormalities any time I shower, (i.e. EVERY NIGHT, unlike the folks at the scabies and lice house!) And given its conspicuous location, I'm pretty sure it hadn't been there for very long. It had bitten me, but wasn't all giant and engorged... But being the informed and paranoid jackass that I am, I get all worried about the potential for Lyme disease, (read "potential for Lyme disease" as "just my fucking luck!")

God, I hate that I know enough to worry about this shit.

So upon announcing this to the rest of the folks at Traci and Addi's place, I was informed that apparently it's going to be a really bad year for ticks. And like I said, I haven't been out in the woods, any wooded area, humping any trees, or anything of that sort, so I kinda believe them.

So if I suddenly start complaining of a rash on my hip, or of flu-like symptoms, just know that I probably have a nasty case of Lyme disease, and will then promptly turn up dead. It's gonna ROCK!

I have since had the mental suggestion of all these things causing more psychosomatic itchies, and have been compulsively been checking for more ticks, scabies, lice, and everything else that I seem to be at risk for since apparently it's my lot in life to be constantly exposed to hazardous crap which will ultimately be my demise. AWESOME.

Go check yourself out. Make sure that the ticks haven't invaded your body too! Let my downfall be a lesson to you... No need for both of us to die!