Monday, June 30, 2008

The only thought in my head!

With the holiday this week, (one of the few which my office chooses to recognize and for which they give us a damn day off,) they decided that they didn't want to have to work harder in the office to process our paperwork, so they make us work harder and have it in a day early. (This is another of the lovely ways they choose to fuck with the field workers, but really, that's a whole other ball of wax.) So anyway, I opted out of a nice night of binge drinking and like a good little soldier, I got my paperwork in. But as I was driving along, there was one thought repeatedly cycling through my brain... This one lone thought was was on that automatic one track repeat mode... And I relished it.


Now, while I know everyone's gotta eat, and that usually entails working hard and earning a paycheck, I also know that its not any good for anyone to stay in a working environment which creates a hatred so penetrating that even after notice has been given, the one thought is, one of the "Thank god I'm getting out" category. I mean yeah, we've all had crappy jobs at one point or another, but the thing is, that once you know you're out, your sole all-consuming thought shouldn't be that, but rather focused on, "Oh I'm going to miss so and so..." or "Oh, I hope my new job has X, Y, and Z." Instead, I was focused on getting that paperwork out of my hot little hands, and not gnashing my teeth so hard that I ground them into the tiny broken stubs I see in the mouths of my meth addicted clients every day.

This is especially tragic when you consider the field I'm in. It's one of social service, where we know somewhat about what we're getting into before we ever get there, and we do it anyway out of a sense of service to humanity and helping those who can't seem to help themselves. This is a field where the people doing the heavy lifting are doing it because they have a deep passion for the job, and they are committed to making things better for kids who wouldn't stand a chance otherwise. And in spite of all the positive, socially and morally just reasons to do what I do, I can't wait to be done with it because my office makes it so unbearable that they suck all the passion and humanity out of everyone who works there. So, yeah, I'm leaving a job with a steady paycheck at the beginning of a recession... But I'd rather be unemployed and miserable for a year than work another day for those conniving, scheming bastard assholes. And that's saying something!

1 comment:

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