Monday, June 27, 2005

HAPPY FAMILY REUNION... AND BY THE WAY, I'M GOING TO HELL.

So sorry children, I got so excited over posting my reunion pics that I totally forgot to write a post explaining them… Basically, the idea behind my family reunions is for all of us to gather once a year in a central location, get drunk, play games, and roast one another… this invariably results in a good time for all.

This year there were three new babies, though only 2 are pictured. There were 2 new husbands, though only one pictured, (and both of the husbands had attended before as boyfriends) and there was one new boyfriend, though he was not brought by me because I am as tragically single as ever… and I have no doubt that as soon as I bring a boyfriend to one of these functions he will instantly dump me because of all the crazies he met while at the family reunion.

This brings me to an important distinction. This is actually a reunion of my step-family (My step mom's sisters and their collected families). I have no blood relationship to the vast majority of those in attendance. This is not all that important though, because I do consider the rest of them family, and I love them. (And I love attending the annual family reunion.)

This year the reunion saw a couple of changes. We changed localities to a lovely ranch in the Paoli/ French Lick area.

(Those of you not from Indiana, please try to compose yourself after reading the words “French Lick.” …Take your time… ready? Ok, moving on.)

I also was informed by my cousin Tiffany that I am going to hell.

Yes, that’s right, my cousin Tiffany, who I see once a year, told me that I’m going to hell.

And yes, this is the same cousin Tiffany who three years ago was slapped for openly denouncing God/Jesus at the same family function…Apparently now she’s married, and has become an uber-Christian…Go figure.

So why does Tiffany the new-found Catholic think I’m going to hell? Because I won’t drop everything that I have going on right now and join the Peace Corps.

Yeah. That’s right.

I said that I was all for doing charitable works, and giving back, especially when you are as blessed as I have been, and under different circumstances, I would gladly join the Peace Corps… but the fact is that right now I have a lease, and a mountainous student loan, so it’s probably not the best time for me to gallivant off to Africa to ruin my credit rating by ditching out on my lease and my loans to feed the pygmies.

Hell, going to Africa or wherever would probably do wonders for my waistline… but then again, I’m a big fan of being malaria-free.

Aside from that mini-drama, all went as expected. We ate, we drank, we sang karaoke, played games, we roasted on each other, and we parted ways… a glorious time, really. (Amusing pictures below.)

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QOTD

"Don't make me turn my meaty flank in defense." ~ Kim

"You can kiss my shiny metal butt!" ~ Kim

"Julia, you might want to try breathing... I read somewhere that breathing is kind of important." ~Kathy

"Damn, if I could throw up as easily as he can, I'd be thin!" ~ Kim

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