Thursday, July 05, 2007

Erm... Uhh... Wellllll...

Ok, so one of my friends had a baby. This is all well and good. I am happy for my friend, and happy that she has a healthy, happy baby with all 20 little fingers and toes.

There is just one problem.

(And once again, I'm probably going to hell for this...)

The baby is NOT cute.

Like REALLY not cute.

I mean anyone who has seen that particular kind of bun when they are fresh out of the oven can tell you that sometimes at first it's tough to tell if they are going to be cute. There is often a squished face, a misshapen head, you know, the obvious signs just how tough that trip down the birth canal is on everybody involved. Quite frequently the babies, regardless of sex, look a great deal like puckered old men. This one CERTAINLY looks like a puckered little old man. But here's the thing, she's a SHE, and she's not quite fresh from the oven anymore. (I thought that the not-cuteness would pass by now... It hasn't.)

I would post a picture of this not-cute baby, but I'm not sure whether or not mom reads the Happy Hour, and I don't want her to be offended. (I am honest with people about things, but so far I've been able able to avoid direct comment about the baby's physical appearance when addressing mom... Rest assured that if I tell you your child is cute, your child IS cute.)

I mean this one is REALLY, REALLY NOT CUTE!

I've only seen one baby who was less cute, and well, quite frankly, that baby had some kind of horrible skin disorder and looked like a lizard. (I'm just being honest.)

... I'm so going to hell for this post. I need to go prostrate myself at the nearest church as soon as possible, and then bathe in holy water for like a month! God should understand though... I mean God was the one who allowed for the genetics to merge in that particular fashion, so essentially, God hand crafted that baby in a non-cute manner! God is responsible for my friend's FUG baby! So this is SOOOOO not on me!

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