Sunday, October 07, 2007

Stop beating yourself up!

It was a big weekend in Chicago sports...

As we entered the weekend, the Cubs were still in the playoffs, the Bears had a hugely important game looming against the Packers, and the Chicago marathon was scheduled to take place.

The Cubs let me (and all the other die-hards) down, got swept, and turned to a shameful place in the history of baseball by going 100 years without a World Series victory. I love my Cubbies, but even I freely admit that this has just gotten to be ridiculous. Triple digits without a championship is not good.

The Bears on the other hand, pulled out a win when they really needed it. And to go into Lambeau Field with a 1-3 record, and face the 4-0 Packers on their turf, that was no easy task.

The Chicago Marathon is really where I want to focus my attention at the moment though... I'm an athlete, but admittedly not a runner. Never have been. I have NEVER gone for a run and enjoyed it, and how anyone else does is just a mystery to me. As a result of my disposition towards running in general, the Chicago Marathon, or any other marathon is just mind boggling to me. Why would anyone want to torture themselves so much as to want to run for more than 26 miles? Let's not even get into the months of running one has to do to train for such an event. I mean I've been to the Chicago marathon. I've seen runners take their shoes off at the end of the event and peel off blisters which used to be the sole of their foot. I've seen runners who forgot to put band-aids on and come away with bloodied nipples because their shirts rubbed the protruding skin off over the course of the 26.2 miles. I have seen sports-related stress fractures, shin splints, and tendinitis galore. I understand that when you've trained for months and months to do something that when the day comes, you really want to do it... But in addition to saying I don't understand the appeal of that training, I'm addressing the fact that the people who ran the Chicago marathon today were flat out crazed... So much so that of the 35,000* who registered and ran (*there were an additional roughly 10,000 marathoners who had enough sense to say "88 DEGREES AND HIGH HUMIDITY? F-THIS!" and stay at home,) but of the idiots who ran, 300+ landed themselves in the hospital, and one ran himself into the morgue. THE MORGUE!


The dude was from Michigan, not Kenya. Which basically means, he wasn't going to win the marathon, and he had to know that going in. Despite that fact, the dude literally RAN HIMSELF TO DEATH! What kind of masochist says to himself, "Hey, I know I'm not going to win this race, and I literally feel like I'm going to die, but I think I'll keep going!" I mean, REALLY, who does that? Because the body does give you clues and cues to let you know that things are shutting down and not functioning normally... And most of them are pretty tough to miss.

Here's a tip: If you're doing something that is already as physically taxing as a marathon, and you're so determined that you are willing to do it on a day when it's 88 degrees with high humidity, if your body starts sending you messages that you're not going to be able to finish, then STOP. Trust me when I tell you that no matter what you think, a 4,679th place finish ISN'T WORTH YOUR LIFE! Just slow down, walk off to the side, have a Gatorade, and then you can go home, hug your spouse and your kids (if applicable,) and start training for the next big race.

As I've already said, I don't understand runners as it is... but I REALLY don't understand a marathoner or any other runner willing to run to the point of death. I know that people unexpectedly die while running every day, and that people die doing all kinds of other things too. They die in their sleep, they die jumping motorcycles over gorges, they die from heart disease, they die by choking on the cheeseburger they were inhaling, I get it... People kick it all the time. And there is no controlling when we kick it... But let's not get into all that.

In fact, let's just move on after noting the fact that I think anyone who ran that marathon in the heat is beyond crazy.

Moving on, I got a lovely new bag on Friday, because it was payday and I wanted it... Actually I in the capitalist, consumerist mindset, I needed a nice brown bag to go with my newest brown heels. Pictures to come for those of you who give a rat's ass. I've also been meaning to post pictures of my apartment, and pictures of assorted social events I've attended... I've been too busy and too lazy to do so thus far. I figure if I keep pointing out that I plan on doing it, eventually one of you will get so fed up with me that you will demand it, and seeing as I have a habit of pandering to my limited audience, eventually I will do it.

I guess that's the update... Now go look at that cute little pygmy hippo in the post below!

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