Monday, August 13, 2007

I'm a broke ass...

No, it's not what you think.

I have an acceptable bank balance at the moment.

I mean I HAVE a BROKE ASS... Though I suppose grammatically it is really a brokEN ass.

I don't know what I have done, but based on what I'm physically feeling, I think I've either strained or pulled a muscle in my butt.

And it sucks.


I can't find a comfortable position to sit, lay, stand, whatever. The thing is, it's not just my butt right now, because depending on how I sit, or stand, or lay, it puts some kind of additional strain on other muscles I haven't yet hurt in my back and in my thigh.

This kind of informs, though certainly doesn't excuse, the fact that I have not been posting lately. Yeah, I'm really just lazy, but the fact that I can't sit comfortably makes sitting down to blog just that much more difficult.

In other news, I got word today that I finally won a battle which has been raging for over two years now. I have been fighting with my alma mater over a bill for $1000.00 that they seemed to think I owed them, and I begged to differ.

Basically I graduated, and had a zero balance with the university... And POOF! Six months later I get a letter saying, "Uhh, hey, we know that you think you've gotten out unscathed, and that you've already signed away your first and second-born children to us, but now you also owe us $1000."

I called them and said, "UMM, NO."

They said, "Umm, yeah, and if you don't fork it over, we're turning it over to collections."

To which, I replied, "Go ahead! DO IT! Because I don't owe you a dime! In fact, do me a favor and tell me WHY I owe you this money."

That one had them stumped for a year.

When they finally got back to me with an answer, it was, "Well, after you graduated, we did an audit of your account, and we discovered that we gave you $1000 that you didn't submit all of the paperwork for."

Now, I'm no dummy. I did earn that college degree. "So you're trying to tell me that I owe you money because someone on your end made a mistake and supposedly gave me money that I didn't submit the required paperwork for?"

"Well... Yeah."

"Oh, so if I were to take you to court and ask you to prove that I received this money, and that I received it with fully disclosed knowledge that it would have to be repaid, and I asked to see a promissory note where I signed saying just that, you all would OF COURSE be able to provide that, right?"

"Well, uhhh.... No. But that's why we need you to pay it back."

"Well, see, that's not how this works... You give me something that PROVES I owe you, and I'll pay it, until then it looks to me like you're shit out of luck."

"We'll get back to you in a week."

"You do that."

::: Two weeks pass :::

"Yeah, so this is Liz, you said you think I owed you money but that you would call back in a week, but that was two weeks ago... Any news?"

"No. We'll get back to you."

"I can't wait!"

::: Six days later :::

"Yeah, so you don't owe us anymore."

"Thanks... But we're going to need a letter to the credit agencies, because I never owed you to begin with."

"Oh, we never turned you over to collections."

"Yeah... and you thought I owed you money for two years... Forgive me if I don't exactly buy that story."

Either way, that's a grand that I don't have to worry about... Which is nice.

And now I'll leave you with a QOTD:

Drew: "Hey Liz, can you take on a new juvenile mentoring case?"
Liz: "Yeah, I've got a little time, what's going on with her?"
Drew: "Well, let's see... Apparently she was recently molested by her uncle, and I guess she didn't like it very much."
Liz: "Well, I know that you enjoyed it so much when your uncle molested you."
Drew: "Why wouldn't I? I mean he was gentle... And he always gave me candy afterward."
Liz: "Drew, I'm so happy that I'm going to get to see your familiar face when I get to hell."

No comments: