Monday, August 27, 2007

I'm hoping to get off with a slap on the wrist...

This post is an apology.

To all my readers, and my friends, I apologize to you.

The truth is that I've become a BAD BLOGGER.

I don't blog the way I used to, or the way I'd like to.

The fact is that I know a lot of what I currently say probably bores you to tears. I don't want to exacerbate the problem by adding to it with posts about my new shoes or anything like that...

Another problem I encounter is that in doing a job where so much information is confidential, I don't want to further expose already exploited kids. I feel guilty making my jokes and stating my judgments about people who I work with. I mean I'm not worried about divulging too much information... I'm smart enough to conceal their identities. But what little portion of my soul remains intact just knows that these people need a little compassion and someone to take up for them because nobody else ever has.

Sure I make the crass remarks, and sure I go in and I do my job down in the trenches, trying to make a little bit of a difference, but there's something else going on that I find tough to express... And thus, I run into problems when trying to talk about my life, because that's what I do all day every day... I go into the trenches and I try to help people turn it around.

There is also the fact that I want to shield you all from some of the things I see every day. It's not fair to you all to come here, for whatever reason it is that you come here, and for you to have to deal with some of the awful things and shit, (literally,) I deal with... I mean I signed up for this, and they pay me to do it. You don't get any compensation for the occasional heartbreak posted here. That's not fair to you.

I am not fishing for compliments here. I don't want flowery sentiments about my doing noble work, or anything like that. I don't want you to feel like I'm trying to draw you into some plot to inflate my ego. Like I said before, this post is an apology. It's me saying I'm sorry for being boring. (And no, don't lie to me, I know I've been VERY boring lately.)

I'm going to try to do better. I want to make an honest effort. REALLY. Anyone know how I can do that?

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