Saturday, January 17, 2009

How about a knuckle sandwich?

Let's talk about some cold ass weather.

For those of you not currently residing in Canada, or the midwestern U.S, I feel the need to inform you that it has been cold here... But cold isn't the word for it. A more appropriate way to put it would be A TRAUMATIC AND BRUTAL ASSAULT ON THE SENSES.

When talking to my mother, I mentioned that despite living in Chicago for more than six years, (a place widely reputed for brutal winters,) I noted that I believed that despite all my memories of all the winters I spent there, I have absolutely no recollection of the existence of such cold, and that I must've mentally blocked it out like an abuse victim mentally blocks out traumatic memories.

Knowing that it was as cold as it was, (seriously, NOT counting wind chill, we're talking -18,) I was not thrilled about the prospect of getting out of bed to go to work my crappy retail job. But as I mentioned in my last post, I need the money so that I can get the hell out of Ohio as soon as possible, so I was thinking in more long-term parameters. So I got up, shivered, and said to myself that if the car didn't start on the first try that I would not feel guilty about calling off. And given the temperature, and the fact that my car is 10 years old, there was a distinct possibility that is was going to sputter for a second and tell me to bugger off. But in the interest of putting forth an honest effort, I went out, put the key in, and tried it. And wouldn't you know it, that thing turned over like nothing. So as it ran for a few minutes and warmed up a little, I ran back into the house, tried to shake off the cold, and went to layer up appropriately for work. And after bundling up, I went to work. My coworkers were not quite so diligent.

Three of the five people who were supposed to work under my watch called off, and the other two were late. The one person who my supervisors were supposed to send to help me out, was taken back to answer phones or something. Basically, I was doing it all myself as usual. I wasn't too upset though, because the extreme cold seemed to keep most rational people away, so things were relatively calm. I noted to a few of the people that I worked with that I genuinely questioned the intelligence and judgment of anyone coming to the store to get anything other than prescription medication, diapers, or a space heater.

Once things picked up and my late comers arrived, I was managing to juggle three or four things at one time, when a customer decided to get her nose all out of joint. She threw a fit when she had to stand behind one other person in line, and essentially demanded that I stop what I was doing to wait on her. I went ahead and opened up a register so that we could take her money and get her the hell out of there. As I bagged up her items and informed her of her total, one of the items in the bag shifted and was sticking partially out of the bag... At which point the bitch clearly lost her mind. She pitched a royal fit, calling my rush and my bagging skills "disgusting" and stating that she couldn't believe any of it! Seriously... Things shift once bagged. And if that makes me "disgusting" then I'm fine with it, as everyone who ever placed items in a bag only to have them shift is "disgusting" right there along with me. I, of course, wanted to punch her in the face, and as she sat bleeding on the floor, I'd have shouted at her, "What is disgusting is your attitude. Now get the hell out and don't come back until you've learned how to treat people." But seeing as I need my paycheck at the moment, I didn't.

I'm in hell.

Talking about the weather and my desire to assault people is really the best I can manage at the moment.

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