Thursday, January 01, 2009

An open letter to 2008...

Dear 2008,

First off, let's not beat around the bush, because 2008, you sucked. I'm glad that we're done forever, because you used me and abused me, and now as far as I'm concerned you can suck a big fat, scabies-ridden cock! Yeah, that's right! I said it!

The start of 2008 still had me doing that social work bullshit. That is bad enough. Early in 2008 I took a mini vacay to use up a few of my remaining paid vacation days to go and visit my family down south. The vacation was nice enough, and I bought new sheets while I was there. But part of my time down there was spent belly-aching to my aunt about my crappy job. Her take on things was that I'd pretty well already made up my mind to leave that crap, but that if I wasn't already thinking that, then it sure sounded like I was ready to bounce. I got home and went back to drinking, working, and plotting my escape.

In an effort to genuinely forget the hell of my life for a few days, I went to vegas. That trip didn't go off as planned, but it was still a spectacular time. That was really the highlight of 2008. Which isn't saying much because it was little more than an abberant long weekend where I was allowed to live on someone else's dime.

In late spring/early summer, Kirsten came to town to take her LSAT, and I really made the final decision to leave social work for whatever Ohio had to offer. In the meantime, the job continued to suck the life out of me though. I quit that shit for good in mid July, and had moved before the month was out. I then went to the family reunion which wasn't bad, but certainly lacked it's usual luster.

Shortly after my arrival in Ohio, the economy collapsed. And I shat myself metahporically. And of course my car decided to stop working and require $800 worth of work... $800 I REALLY didn't have.


In discussions regarding the economy all over the U.S. it was widely stated that Ohio was economically the worst state in the union. The job market was total bullshit, and despite sending out something like 700 resumes, I got a ridiculously low number of interviews, and got pissed off.

Then Hurricane Ike blew through. That bitch knocked out the power at my house for a week. During that week, Kirsten essentially took to living at Mike's house, so I spent a great deal of time alone with the cat.

When the power came back, the refrigerator did not. It took another 6 weeks before the landlord decided to fix that shit. (In case you were wondering, 7 weeks without the use of a refrigerator for ANY purpose SUCKS DONKEY BALLS.) And somewhere in there I had a shitty birthday, improved only slightly by the fact that I actually got to see Kirsten for the first time in weeks.

And after having only the cat for company for roughly 2 months, Kirsten came and got him and took him with her to Mike's house... My only friends in Ohio were now living elsewhere, and seldom heard from thereafter.

Right around the time that my bank balance hit absolute zero, and the refrigerator got fixed, my computer stopped working correctly, and I got a call telling me that I'd gotten a crappy retail job. GREAT!

So I spent most of the fall and early winter months cursing under my breath while fetching carts, change, and plastic bags for people, and wondering why I bothered getting a college degree, let alone a degree from a respectable university... I still do the cursing during my retail shifts, in case you were wondering. (And then I remind myself that it's not the poop house... but it still sucks.)

Then Kirsten got engaged, which didn't suck for me, but didn't really do much to improve things for me either. It did, however, solidify the fact that I have no reason to stay in Ohio, because the one reason I came to Ohio decided to fall in love and get married, and sledom be heard from ever again.

To round out my shitty 2008, I spent Christmas alone because I had to work on Christmas eve and the day after Christmas, effectively isolating me for the holiday season. I worked some of that shit, and then started having intensely painful back spasms. I then spent a few days on pain killers, and to really round out a shitty year properly, I had to have more work done on my car to the tune of $300. (I know, AWESOME, right?)

(Oh, and I got sued.)

So 2008 can suck it... In fact, 2008 DID suck it.

2008 sucked a golf ball through a garden hose.

Thank god we're done with that piece of shit year!

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