Tuesday, March 27, 2007

She remembered... kinda.

So I went and got my "welcome to spring" pedicure.

I went to the same pedicurist I went to back in my high school days. And she remembered me... kind of.

She told me she missed me, and that she hadn't seen me since she was at her last store location. (She's seen me a couple of times since then, but that's OK... She sees a lot of people, so I don't hold it against her.) She asked about my mom, and why I was back after 6 years, and all that other good stuff.

And as she was doing her thing, she said the one thing that no respectable girl ever wants to hear while getting a pedicure.

"Oh my god! When was your last pedicure? Have you had one...EVER?"

Ok, I know it's been a WHILE since my last pedi. I freely admitted that. But hey, 8 months of unemployment and winter will do that to you... You wear shoes that don't show off your neglected feet, and you save the money. But since I am not unemployed anymore, I knew I couldn't hide behind that excuse and that I needed to start taking care of them again... And that first trip back is never pretty.

But seriously, she asked me if I'd EVER had a pedicure.


Do you all grasp the gravity in that statement? That means that in 8 months my feet had gotten gnarly enough to look like I'd totally neglected them for 24+ years.

Let me make a point in noting that I don't have seriously gnarly feet. I don't have corns, or hammer toes or anything of that sort. My heels weren't cracked or bleeding or anything like that either. They did have some admittedly gross callouses though. (But hey, I leave the treatment of callouses to trained professionals. I've seen amateur jobs go seriously awry, and I know better than to press my luck by putting a blade to the sole of my own foot... I'm sometimes dumb, but I'm never THAT dumb.) And pumice stones are great and all, but unless you're willing to commit yourself to an hour of soaking and scrubbing, those bastards are limited in their powers.

But I suffered the embarrassment of letting someone else take care of my feet, and from here on out, the embarrassment should be vastly reduced considering I plan on keeping up with them. Because really, I know I don't want hobbit feet, and I know that nobody else wants to see hobbit feet doing anything other than picking mushrooms or saving middle earth by scaling Mount Doom, so really we're collectively working for the greater good here.

So that's that. (Pictures to be posted later.)

In other news, remember when I told you that one of my friends dropped a serious bombshell on me the other day, but that I couldn't really talk about it? Yeah, well, now I can.

My best friend in this neck of the woods (I've got a few closer friends, but they all live elsewhere, in more rational parts of the country...) informed me that she is completely unexpectedly pregnant. She is 23, still in school, and was on the pill at the time of her conception. (So when those bastard doctors tell you that it's only 99% effective, you can now say that you know of an actual case that falls in that 1%.)

She's handling it all very well. Much better than I would in that situation, I must say... But then, I don't have that worry since the hot co-worker is married, and well, we just won't get into the Lizzle's pathetic excuse for a romantic life. That's a whole other can of worms. (Though returning my feet to an acceptable condition is a step in the right direction! So is waxing... but I'm pretty good about staying up on that one.)

So now it's going to be my duty to help pull off a kick ass baby shower, (Debbie, I'm looking to you for hot tips on this)! Help pick out baby names... (She likes some odd names, and I'm more of a classicist, so I don't know how much help I'll be in that department.) And make sure that this kiddo knows (s)he's got a hot momma, and that Aunt Lizzle will fight a bear for either one of them! I think I'm up to the task.

Since the revelation of this pregnancy, I have come to find out that something like 9 of my friends from high school (who I pretty much disavowed any and all knowledge of upon leaving after graduation) have had babies, or are currently pregnant. (Those are just the ones I didn't know about. There were a lot of marriages and babies in there that I did know about.) It's a lot to process when you find out A LOT of people you knew have reproduced under your radar!

I only hope that they don't ever find themselves in need of my services... Because that would be a sad day for both of us.

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