Thursday, March 01, 2007

My POOOOOOR dear cousin! (And my chunky butt.)

My cousin STILL hasn't given birth. The doctors told her that if this baby doesn't decide to make an appearance all on its own by Friday, then they are going in! So until then, it looks like my pooooooor teeny weeny little cousin will be waddling around utterly miserable because she can't function with this kid being all lazy and putting off it's birthday until god only knows when.

Friday should be the day though!

As for me, my recent hangover isn't the only thing telling me that I'm getting old. I went out for a mentoring visit today, and after finding some other kids to join in, we played a rousing game of hide & seek/tag. I'll be the first to tell you that the lizzle does NOT move like she used to. The lizzle tried to duck under a suspension bridge made out of chains on the playground, and well, not only did I bruise a rib or two, I aggravated an already irritated muscle in my neck and shoulder. I might be in my mid twenties, but I felt like I was fifty. (At least I didn't get all winded and wheezy though, which was something of a marvel given the amount of running around I did, and the ever-increasing size of my ass. Though I still have winter weather to blame for my ass at the moment... If it keeps up in the next month or two, I will have no excuse, and this will be a problem, because let's face it, the lizzle scares off enough men with her abrasive personality, and she didn't have much better prospects when her ass was smaller, so increasing the ass factor is not a move in the right direction.)

Being out of work for (more or less) 8 months (not counting that month long respite right around my birthday as anything,) and thus not being able to afford any kind of gym membership certainly didn't help matters. (I say that like I'd have diligently been running 2 miles a day 6 days a week, but we all know that isn't the truth, but still, I like the gym...)

But I am hopeful. Not unrealistic, but hopeful about reducing the ass factor in the coming months. I am just incredibly grateful that for this job I will not have to don my old customary lifeguarding swimsuit and whistle this summer, as that was the last job I had here in my hometown, and well, now a swimsuit just AIN'T GONNA HAPPEN!

I have already been informed that upon completion of my training (which will end on Saturday,) I will already have a full case load. GREEEAAAAAT. I'm all for a challenge, but this kind of sink-or-swim right out of the gate is going to be a true test! I guess we'll see what the lizzle is made of next week! (I am praying that we don't come to find out that the lizzle is made almost entirely of something pathetic like butter and Nilla Wafers... I couldn't handle that! I at least want to be made out of something like chicken breast... Because we all know I am breastacular, and I have the potential to be a bit dry, tough, and rubbery...)

I'll let you kids know.

Be good eggs today!

1 comment:

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