Sunday, April 10, 2005

And so ends that chapter... We must move on from here.

"There are moments which mark your life. Moments when you realize nothing will ever be the same, and time is divided into two parts, before this and after this. Sometimes you can feel such a moment coming; that's the test, or so I tell myself. I tell myself at times like that strong people keep moving forward anyway, no matter what they are going to find."
~Illogic
"Have no fear of moving into the unknown. Simply step out fearlessly knowing that I am with you, therefore no harm can befall you; all is very, very well. Do this in complete faith and confidence."
~Pope John Paul II
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FYI, this is going to make more sense to some than it is to others... and for all I know it might be a complete muddled mess to everyone, but I'm writing what comes to mind in the interest of personal catharsis rather than informational or entertainment purposes... feel free to skip this post.

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Forgive the cliche' but from what I can gather, life is a lot like a roller coaster. It goes really fast, it can be an enjoyable ride, some of the rides are wilder than others, there are twists and turns that you never saw coming, and if you don't open your eyes, you're likely to miss most of it. It's also a lot like a roller coaster because it can bring you great joy and great thrills, or it can terrify you to the point of tears and illness. And your place in life is very much like where you are on the ride... what you've already ridden through, and what lies ahead.

The first quote I posted refers to those defining moments in life. Those are the sharper moments, the tops of the hills that will send you into whatever comes next. The apex that you build up to. For a lot of people these are the sharp, defining moments that we spend large parts of our life avoiding. These are also moments that must come so that we can move to the next part of the ride... Sometimes we're ready to move on to the next phase, sometimes we aren't but we have to do it anyway. Such is my case at present. I have been forced into a sharp moment, the hard part is over, now it's just coasting downhill, and seeing where I'm supposed to go.

Life is also like a roller coaster because we are sharing the ride with others. We might all experience the same things in different ways, and we might have different interpretations at the end, but the fact is, no matter how much we might want to be alone, or feel like we're alone, unless you're the hermit who is going to live a life completely deviod of other people, we're inevitably sharing the ride. Whether we like it or not, even subconsciously knowing that they are on that ride with you, be it somewhere in the background or right next to you, just knowing they are there will change your experience in some way.

To ALL those who are reading this, (yes, even you Dave,) I am glad to be sharing the ride with you. I am glad to know you all have been there for me in the past, and I hope that I can continue to share my journey with you in the future. It's not always going to be fun and games, sometimes it's going to be downright terrifying. But it's going to be a wild ride that we have in common. There might be a time when our ride is no longer shared, a time when we go our separate ways on this twisting and turning journey, but today is not that day.

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All things are possible except skiing through a revolving door.

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Thank you. I am grateful for knowing you, and for your continued presence in my life. You all mean so much to me, and there are so many of you who deserve more credit than I could ever do justice to here and now. I look back on my ride so far, and there is not an ounce of anger, not a hint of regret. There is only gratitude, bewilderment at how I ever made it this far, and hopeful anticipation of what lies ahead. You are all the shining stars in my sky.

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