Now, everybody just calm down!!!

Now, I know this is going to come as a bit of a shock to all of you, but it's going to be ok, I promise.

Brace yourselves....

I was not elected pope.

I know! I know... Please, calm down. Furious rages won't solve anything.

Yeah, they went with that OTHER crazy German.

Bastards!

I thought I had a lock on it when it was revealed that I was never a member of the Nazi party... I guess I was wrong.

Oh well, there's always the next conclave!

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What is it with all the beautiful weather showing up when I've got TONS of shit that I have to do, and then as a result of doing all of it I am too tired to enjoy it during my few spare moments? Seriously, what is that shit?

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Shoutout to the Mendez crew. Hugs to momma Mendez. And a footlong sub sandwich to Nenny... that skinny little fish-eyed garbage disposal who we all know and love... and how about some chips and a whole cheesecake while we're at it.

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I think it's a safe assumption that Dave failed Spanish 101. I hate to be the one to point this out, but it's SEÑOR... not SENIOR.

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You wanna talk about liberating? Try studying Titian with no pants on. (I'm not quite that liberated yet... it is a goal I hope to achieve before my death at age 96. I just thought I'd mention that to you all.)

When I study Titian, (or any art history for that matter) I ALWAYS have pants on.

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QOTD

4.20.05 -
Pat: "Girls, or as I like to call them, 'skirts' scare me! ...I'm very scared of the skirts!"
Doris: "Well, for your sake I'll keep wearing pants."

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FYI, I will be filing a sexual harassment lawsuit against Jennifer Westfall.

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I am actively procrastinating at this very moment.

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If they had elected me Pope, I'd have chosen the papal name "Pope Skippy XVI"

Because I would want to listen to all the news anchors and laugh my old ass off as they sat there referring to me in my old age as SKIPPY!

(And you can bet I'd be callin Xzibit to have the pope mobile pimped.)
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You have yourself a pleasant day now, ya hear?

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