Saturday, April 16, 2005

I hate to say I told ya so...

But I definitely told you that there would be a strong likelihood that I'd end up here, jackin around, composing a blog entry rather than working on my bloody paper.

I think this is probably because A. I am home on a Saturday night, not drinking, B. I am a procrastinator of epic proportions, C. I would rather gouge my eyes out with a fork than write about the mummy case of Paankhenamun, and D. all of the above.

Couple this with the fact that I really want to tell you about my day spent training a new little flower slinger, and well... here we are.

Yeah, that's right, they left a newbie in my "capable hands" ...SUCKERS.

I'm gonna go ahead and be blunt, I don't like this character. His name is Marco, and he creeps me out!

For those of you who have ever seen the movie Napoleon Dynamite, this kid reminds me of a creepy version of Pedro! FOR REAL! I half expected to come back from my lunch break and find signs on all the flowers saying "VOTE FOR MARCO!" (For those of you who have not seen the movie, and thus do not get the reference, rent it... not the strongest on plot, but certainly one of the most fun, quotable films out there!)

But anyway, this kid is like Pedro, with a couple of exceptions... He's a "close talker" (Am I the only one out there who HATES CLOSE TALKERS?!?!) He has a habit of invading my personal space when I'm trying to explain to him what he needs to do. Secondly, he further invades my personal space by trying to touch me... this is not cool. I had my hand on my hip today and he it all up in my grill touching my hand unnecessarily... and when I ducked under a hanging basket so it wouldn't hit me in the head, he felt the need to touch my head too... It would be one thing if I'd been working with this kid all season, and I knew him a little better before he goes and tries to touch my hand or my head, but today was our first meeting, and forgive me, but I'm a little stand-offish of creepy 19 year olds until I've known them for at least a month.

My dear friend Doris suggested that I go and buy him a wig so that he would look like a medeival warrior, and I would, but I'm afraid I'd come in the next day to find that he'd built me a cake or something... (another Pedro/ Napoleon Dynamite reference, sorry.) Anyway, I get the feeling that this is gonna make for a long summer... and not in a good way.

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10 Things I love:

1. My mom. (Aww hell, I love my whole fam! With the exception of my dad, they are awesome! ...don't get me wrong, I love my dad, but he is not awesome. Punctuation is key to the proper reading of this parenthetical expression.)
2. My friends. (They are pretty F-in' sweet, too!)
3. The Cubs. (a girl's gotta have her priorities)
4. Sleep.
5. Cheesy music... (lame love songs, 80's jams, you know.)
6. Laughing. Who doesn't love to laugh? That's like saying you don't like sunshine!
7. Large bodies of water.
8. Roasting on people... What can I say, when you're good at something, you grow to love it.
9. Driving. (I don't get to do it very often, but dammit, I love it.)
10. Tie: Alcohol and The internet. (Like Kip, I love technology... and the internet makes papers go a hell of a lot faster than looking up facts in books.)

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10 things I do not love.

1. Double standards.
2. Condescention.
3. Hypocrisy.
4. People who lack consideration for others and people who lack empathy.
5. Stupid people... especially those who think they are smart.
6. People who chew with their mouth open.
7. Close talkers... (unless I know you, and you've got a reason to be that close, then GET OUTTA MY GRILL!)
8. Loud breathers.
9. Bad drivers.
10. People who don't know how to walk (this includes, but is not limited to people who don't pick up their feet when they walk.)

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I don't know why I felt that I needed to tell you kids all that in a top 10 list format... but I guess it's important that you know that stuff.

Feel free to list your own top ten lists (lists about anything) in the comments... I wanna learn about you, my little readers!

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Did anybody other than me and Mendez see the humor in Dave referring to himself as DJ White Bread? Was that really lost on everyone else? REALLY? Because I thought it was pretty damn funny.

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Thin mints are by far my favorite girl scout cookie... always have been, always will be.

(And for the record, no those keebler knockoffs ARE NOT the same. A thin mint connoisseur knows that there is a very real difference.)

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Last night I fell asleep to the American Justice profiles of Jeffrey Dahmer and Ted Bundy... and I don't know whether or not that is really weird. I mean I was interested in it, which is kinda twisted to some people I'm sure, but I fell asleep to it... so I was apparently comfortable with it. Eh, what are you gonna do about it?

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I have wasted a lot of time on this post that could've been used to compose a large part of my paper... BLOODY HELL.

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