Wednesday, May 18, 2005

I live the most ridiculous life... and things are totally going my way!

Yes, that's right kids, I live a life of utter ridiculom (Ridiculom is a made up word, but Nenny got to make up hilariom, so I get this one!!)

Ok, so you know how when one thing goes wrong, everything else seems to fall spectacularly to pieces as well? Like an awful trend of things going wrong? I am famous for having these.

Today, however, I learned how the other half lives! I am in the midst of a REALLY GOOD streak and ...

To recap (for those of you who have fallen a little behind lately):
  • I have a new home that I am very excited about.
  • That new home will house only me!!!
  • My mommy is coming up tomorrow... well, technically today, as it is after 12:oo AM.
  • I will officially graduate from college on Friday.
  • My art history professor found my paper and changed my grade.
  • Grandma's hip replacement surgery went well.
  • You know that regular history class I failed because the final was impossible and worth 50% of the overall grade? Yeah, well I looked at my official grades today and I totally passed it! This means I will not have to spend and ASS LOAD of money on a summer history class.
Yeah, you read that right!!! I passed my history class!!! HOW EXCITED AM I!?!? God loves me. I'd send God a thank-you note, but I don't know the zip code.

Hot damn! I'm on a roll! (Shay, here's your optimism!)


I got the sweetest message from Meljoy today. (And in case you were wondering, Meljoy is an incredible Dutch woman, who loves tulips, windmills, and wooden shoes... and she OOZES DUTCH SEX APPEAL.) She told me that she loves me and that she misses having me in her life.
I am still in her life, but we no longer work together, so we don't see each other as frequently as we once did.

But she rocks my world, so today's post is dedicated to MELJOY!


Speaking of people who ooze sex appeal...

This evening, I watched Labyrinth, starring a very young Jennifer Connoly and David Bowie.

Can I ask a question of my readers? What is it about David Bowie that just OOZES sex appeal? Ordinarily, I don't dig men in lots of glittery eye makeup, somewhat odd teeth, (typical because he's a brit,) spandex, (among other fashion errors of the 80's and early 90's) But with Bowie, there's something about him that makes this all ok. And considering he's actually a talented musician, and we know he is capable of a commitment (because he's been married to Iman for like 300 billion years or something) Am I the only one who thinks Bowie is hot? (P.S. - He looks way the hell hotter nowadays when he's all dressed up in a nice suit for award shows and whatnot... but no matter what, the sex appeal is there!)

Prince is another one of these people... he's TINY, (only about 5'2" and probably like 80 lbs,) but this guy just has something about him that is ALL SEX!

What is it with the androgynous men?!?


Let's have a quick chat about the people I work with/around... (MORE RIDICULOM.)

Marco. - Marco is about 5' 1" - he is a little mexican fellow. He's 19 years old. He is a close talker. He is oddly creepy. He is a boxer. These are all facts, but none of these facts are more true than this, HE IS SLOW. I don't know for sure if he has been clinically diagnosed as slow in other ways, (because that is VERY possible) but I'm really referring to his speed on the job. (Although I have noted that someone who functions as slowly as Marco does, REALLY shouldn't be boxing and suffering further blows to the cranium.)

Much of the time you can give Marco a job that would take anyone else about 20 minutes, and it will take him 2 hours... Let's keep in mind that in the 2 hours, it does not mean that he will do the job right, and that you won't have to undo and redo all the things he did in that 2 hours... because you will. This is utterly maddening... because you know he's getting a paycheck just like you to do the same damn job... only he SUCKS at it.

If you don't see Marco screwing up the flowers he's supposed to be fixing, odds are you will find him making a fumbling attempt at macking on the home depot cashiers... or possibly just standing out in the parking lot, mouth agape, glazed look on his face. (I've seen both... and this is usually maddening when you know how much work needs to be done.)

David. - I have actually not met David yet, but from what I gather he is equally slow on the job, if not more so. Personal details about David: He is a Rastafarian Jew. Yes... you read that right... and if you need to go back and read it again, go ahead. RASTAFARIAN JEW. The kid has dred locks, and he goes to temple. Do I really need to say any more? OY, MON! (I've been waiting for a chance to bust out this link, and it's finally found it's place!!! ENJOY!!) ...And yes, I am aware I am going to hell!

I'm going to be honest here... I would rather have trained monkeys. Literally. At least the monkeys would be somewhat entertaining, not creepy, and would have an excuse for organizational problems.

If you kids need a summer job, please let me know!!! You can some sling flowers with me, and we can get rid of these AWFUL workers... Really! Nate is looking for good people to replace them!



Liz: "I just saved 1200 bucks with that passing grade!"
Meljoy: "By switching to GEICO?"

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