Monday, April 23, 2007

HOLY CRAP!

It's been a week since I updated here?

REALLY?

Jeez! I'm sorry! I've neglected the few of you who actually give a crap about what goes on here.

To be perfectly honest, I have been very busy, though with nothing of any particular interest. In the last couple of weeks, every waking moment not spent working has been spent trying to find a reasonably priced, decent apartment. I've been supervising visits, and visiting apartment complexes pretty much 18 hours a day. And after all of that, quite frankly I was tired. And I didn't think it would be of particular interest to you, so I spared you really.

Long story short, I found out that there are apartment complexes around here that are just utterly ridiculous! Here are some highlights:

One complex, while demanding roughly a third of my gross monthly salary for rent (not including utilities) determined that I actually made too much to live there. Seriously! I made too much to live there, but they wanted 1/3 of what I do make to be spent on rent. So I said to the woman who was showing me the apartment, "Wait, you want $XXX.xx for rent every month, but because I make $XXXX.xx a month I make too much to live here? How does that work exactly?"

Her response surprised me. She said, "Well, we're a tax abatement program."

"So... What, you're like nicer looking section 8 housing?"

"Well, no."

"Well based on what you're telling me, you expect people to move in here, and spend like HALF of everything they have coming in just to have the privilege of saying that they live here, and that you don't even include utilities for half of a person's gross income... You're telling me that you're a tax abatement program, so here's the question, is there some kind of incentive for people to live here? Your residents don't OWN the unit, so who is actually benefiting from the tax abatement?"

"Well... Uhhh...."

"Basically, you're advertising to your residents that you're robbing them blind by overcharging on rent, and that you get to write off your profits and that they won't reap any real benefits?"

"Well... Uhhh... Um... Have I mentioned that we have a pool?"

"Have I mentioned that I make too much to live here, and that I'm not an idiot, so you need to stop trying to sell me on this place?"

Basically I totally shut down her game. We parted ways shortly after that. I just wanted that woman to know that she didn't have me fooled.

I talked to several of my co-workers, and ended up finding a really nice apartment complex that is a little out of the way, where I will never have to worry about running into any of my clients, (because that was a concern with a few of the complexes I toured). I submitted paperwork to apply for a place there today, and pending approval of my application (which basically consists of them finding out that I have some cash in the bank and no felonies on my record) I will be moving into a lovely new apartment with a washer & dryer in the unit, a dishwasher, delightful balcony, and a view of the tennis courts in just a couple of weeks! And I'm genuinely hoping that this will be the last move I have to make until I make my way back to Chicago.

In other apartment complexes, I found that people seem to think that it makes more sense to pay huge sums of money to a leasing agency on a monthly basis for an apartment that they will not own, rather than paying somewhat less to a bank for a whole HOUSE that they WILL own. I mean I understand why some people opt for apartments, but after seeing some of the rates that these places are charging, and seeing that they are pretty much totally rented out, I just gotta say WOW! People are nuts!

Before some random person attacks my last statement, I'm electing to rent because my finances are still in recovery, and because I don't plan on living in this neck of the woods long enough to commit to buying a house. And I'm not directly attacking anyone who elects to rent, because I'm sure they have their reasons too, but I just want it known that I think there are a bunch of people out there who are insane for paying the rates they pay around here, SO THERE!

In other news, I was tempted to entitle this post, "My mom said she thinks your mom is a bitch! (And by 'your mom' I mean mother earth.)" The reason for that? My mom spent earth day signing papers to seal the deal on her new SUV. I found that totally hilarious.

The only other tidbit I have for you is that I bought a few more acres in hell today. I was talking to a coworker of mine, and she made a smart ass remark. I retorted by saying, "You know, if you weren't pregnant, I would totally punch you in the mouth!"

Yes, that's right, I threatened to punch a pregnant coworker! Sweet little eight pound, six ounce baby Jesus, forgive me!

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