The other day while I was headed to work, I got a phone call from my mother. She was calling to tell me that she was doing something else extremely nice for me... and when I told her she was spoiling me rotten, she matter-of-factly told me something that can only be described as a knife to my heart. (Here's how it went down:)
Liz: Mom, I can't let you do that, you're already spoiling me rotten.
Mom: I like spoiling you rotten, it's fun!
Liz: Yeah, and I think it's pretty fun being spoiled, but I can't get a guy as it is, and I have the feeling that if I was spoiled to the point of being ROTTEN it's going to be that much harder!
Mom: Well, then maybe I will spoil you just to the brink of being rotten.
Liz: That'll work.
Mom: As for getting a guy... well, you know, the rules that applied to your grandmother, and the rules that applied to me don't really apply anymore... so if you wanted to go out and get pregnant and not be married that's fine. We'd love you and the baby just the same!
Liz: MOM! Don't say that! I'm 22, I don't want to go out and get pregnant!
Mom: Well, I'm just saying that "Happily ever after" might not exist, just look at me and your father.
Liz: MOM! DON'T SAY THAT! You and dad, you were together for 20 years.
Mom: Yeah, and look at how that ended.
Liz: Well, you got me and Scoot (My brother) out of it!
Mom: Well, yes, but if I'd held out maybe someone else would've asked me to marry them, and I'd still be married and happy... I'm just saying that certain sacrifices have to be made, because "happily ever after" is a myth.

Now while I know my mom wants to encourage realism in her children, this is not the type of thing that she should say to me, an unhappily-single girl who is only 22. I have never been the type of girl who seeks a relationship to "complete me" or to fill some mysterious void in my life... I do however still hold out hope for one day getting married and having a family... or at least I did until my mom stomped on my heart and essentially told me that my dream was a stupid and unattainable myth. This in the same week that I declare that I've officially lost Dave... WOW.

I mean I might be wrong about this, but I think I've got a lot to offer a guy. Aside from the physical stuff, I enjoy sports, this means that not only could we watch sports together (both of us knowing the apropriate times to speak/be silent/celebrate, thus enhancing the sports-viewing expeirence for both parties,) and it also means that you're not going to have to sit and explain to me what it means to "box out," or what a safety, or a bootleg is. I am also VERY understanding of the "man time." Hey, if you wanna go spend time drinking and playing poker with your buddies, do it! As long as you don't lose our firstborn child and/or the deed to the house, that's all fine by me. I'm also understanding of that quiet time you need after work. I know you don't want to have a three-hour-long conversation begining the second you get one foot in the door, and if that were the case you would be the one to initiate it... you gotta have a chance to unwind, have a beer, etc. Futhermore, I actually drink beer, and I like camping, and fishing, and grilling out. This might not seem like much to some of you out there, but from what I hear, a lot of guys dig that stuff. (Not that I'd know considering it seems even my mom is aware that nobody wants to touch me with a 50 foot pole.)

So why does my mom think I'm such a hopeless case that at 22 she feels the need to tell me that my dream is a myth? It might have to do with the fact that when she was 22 she was already married... meanwhile I don't even have any decent dating prospects... but I thought she said the old rules don't apply... Oh hell, I'm not going to figure this out today, but if anyone else gets it, let me know. Thanks!

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On a lighter note, let's talk about something else that bothers me. Specifically: BREATHERS.
You all know who these people are! These are the people who constantly breathe as though their lungs are spasming, or as though they have just run a marathon, even though they have not moved from their chair in the last 45 minutes.

I'm not referring to the out of shape people (such as myself) who have just climbed 6 flights of stairs, or who have actually run for any period of time. Nor am I referring to the sick who have no choice but to breathe loudly rather than suffocate because they have what feels like a Nike sneaker lodged in their sinuses, or the girl who constantly breathes too deeply or sighs too much in a bid for attention... (Although she's annoying too!)

No, I'm talking about those people who get off the elevator and come sit next to you in a room and make you think they are going to have an asthma attack. The loud breathers...

Picture it; a dead silent room, where you quietly sit attending to your own business, and in walks a guy who sits down and wheezes in your ear for the next hour and a half... Welcome to my life.

It would seem that I am a magnet for people who don't know how to chew with their mouths closed, and these people who don't know how to breathe silently. I don't know if they just never learned how to breathe sliently, or if this loud breathing is the learned behavior, or if it is somehow ingrained into them at birth (likely something to do with amniotic fluid,) but these people need to be rounded up and re-educated... So do the open-mouth chewers!

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QOTD
2.26.05 - "Yeah, I think I'm going to have to take a mulligan on last night." ~Holly

2.27.05 - "I was gonna say, 'Did they have cars back in 1945? And if so, what were they made out of, wood?" ~Mandy