Between the fumes coming off the chemicals in the stuff used to do her fake nails, and the chemicals in the hair dye (note: This is AT LEAST the SECOND time she has had her hair dyed since the pregnancy announcment.) This baby is going to come out looking like the mermaid baby!

Can we just go ahead and call in a standing order with the department of children and family services to intercept this child as soon as it leaves the womb, because you know otherwise she's gonna want to go on vacation and leave the baby in the kennel with little Bit Bit and Lacy Loo.

This poor kid is going to have one hell of a tough time growing up, because you know all the other malibu rich kids are going to make fun of baby Spederline for her white trash folks. (Photo credit: Michael K.)