Life is a beach...

Going into this weekend, despite my hobbling, I knew that I had both Sunday and Monday off of work. And so I decided that I had every intention of spending as much time as possible at the beach.

Well, I guess I underestimated the lure of a day game for the Cubbies when I had that original thought, as I never made it to the beach on Sunday. But the Cubbies don't play until 7 today, so you can bet that if you're reading this at any time between 10AM (certainly no earlier) and 4 PM (maybe later) that my happy ass will be lounging on a Cubs towel on the sand listening to the waves of Lake Michigan, or some nice tunes... Whatever!

I have already packed up the necessary provisions for this beach trip, meaning that parked right next to my front door is a backpack containing the following:

• Afforementioned Cubs towel
• Sunscreen (for application to the parts of me that are already tanned, because we're looking to even things out a little bit)
• Tanning lotion (to catch up the tan on the parts of me that are usually covered by that sexy polo shirt I wear to work every damn day.)
• A big bottle of water (Because I might get a little thirsty out there.)
• A diskman cd player and an assortment of cds (because I was laid off from my real job about 2 weeks before I was set to buy that ipod I've been lusting after.)
• Extra batteries for that cd player, (because lord knows every time I think I am all set for a day of musical enjoyment in the sun the batteries konk out on me, and I have usually forgotten to pack more, and then I get all pissed off.)
• The BIG, noise cancelling headphones that completely cover my ears. (Because I really don't care how tan my ears get and sometimes applying bronzer to the ears is a hell of a lot easier than tolerating the incessant screams of wayward children who have been left unattended by their stupid, trashy parents... I used to be a lifeguard, I know that scam!)
• A really good book. (Because a day at the beach ain't a day at the beach unless you're reading a really good book out in the sunshine, to kind of take your mind off of how burnt the paler parts of you are going to be tomorrow.)
• My phone (which will only be answered for calls which can't possibly result in the ruining of my day at the beach)
• My camera (because when I get home I will probably be all happy and wanting to gloat about my day in the sun, so I'll share it with you!)
  

I know those of you at work right now are grumbling under your breath. You're bitter because you are actually sitting at a desk, earning a paycheck instead of enjoying the SPECTACULAR, sunny, breezy, cloudless, humidity-free, perfect 82 degree summer weather we are having up here today. And to you, the office drones of America, I offer this word of advice - Save your sick days for use during the summer for days EXACTLY like this... And USE THEM when the opportunity arises. Because being sick of the office totally counts as being sick... and what the boss doesn't know won't kill him.

And when I get home, rest assured, I will shower, have a nice meal, and a nice cold beer while watching the first pitch of the ball game ***... Every Monday should be so good.



*** -(To the fellas out there - if you are straight and single, what the hell is wrong with this picture? A moderately attractive, outgoing, educated, single female is spending all day at the beach, then going home to drink, and watch baseball. Oh, wait, I know what's wrong with this picture... I'M DOING THIS ALONE.)

Whoa, I lost consciousness there for a second and when I came to, I saw that the readings on the singles-bitterness meter just went off the charts there for a second... I don't know what the hell just happened... My sincerest apologies!

Anyway, I hope you kids have an enjoyable day in the salt mines!