Saturday, February 17, 2007

Odds and ends...

This is going to be one of those posts where you just get the little nibblets I've got left over, the ones that can't really hack it as a whole post. You either love them or you hate them... I find that I hate them unless the writing is particularly good... So 99% of the time yeah, I hate them.

Sorry, I'm gonna post it up anyway...

  • So my dad was supposed to come into town today... But something came up, so he put off the visit until next week, which was fine. He asked me what time I'd be available, and I told him that I wasn't entirely sure because my new job requires me to schedule my time around when my clients are available to meet with me. He said, "Well, surely you won't be working at 8 or 9 in the evening." I told him that it was entirely possible that I would be working then, but I don't know for sure until I set the appointments. He then replied, "Well, whenever you get finished, we'll go have a nice dinner and a few drinks. Surely there will be a bar open somewhere!" ...Upon hearing this, the epiphany bulb above my head went on. I now know that my dad has begun to acknowledge that our visits go better when one or both of us is drinking. The benchmark for this theory, of course, is the annual family reunion. That visit always goes well, and I think that is due in large part to the free-flowing liquor involved. I'm convinced that the theory is sound.
  • My cousin hasn't had her baby yet. Apparently she spent the whole day walking around, trying to help things move along, but to no avail... The wait continues. I am just anxious to know if it's a boy or a girl, and what name they picked out. I hate it when they wait to find out the sex when the baby is born... You can't plan anything in advance!
  • I got flowers today. And getting flowers made me think a little bit. I thought about the scientific standpoint of flowers... Technically speaking the flower is the plant's housing of reproductive organs... So when you're sniffing a flower, you're actually sniffing the plant's vagina... Of course, this is the reasoning behind men giving women flowers... They just want to smell vagina.
  • The sooner I can get back to making my own cup of coffee in the morning, the better. Grandpa tries so hard to make coffee, but what I end up with is about 1/4 of the strength I would like it to be, and it usually is absolutely riddled with grounds. Most of the time I pour it out, but occasionally I'll drink some of it and humor him. I just don't get how EVERY MORNING there are grounds in my coffee... I mean I have personally rinsed out the coffee maker half a dozen times, and he does use a filter... WHERE THE HELL ARE ALL THE GROUNDS COMING FROM!?!?!
  • I love all of my cheerleaders! (You kids are included here.) I don't have much history on many of you, (though there are some exceptions) but if you've been a reader here for very long, you know that I've been on the bottom of a rather sizable shit heap for quite some time, and it sucks, but when you're under there, you lose sight of all the people who are rooting for you, it's not until you find a way out of the shit heap that you find them still there, and they're cheering because you made it out of the shit heap alive. So to all of you who were quietly rooting for me, and those of you who were more vocal in your efforts, I thank you for helping me to survive the shit heap... The next step is to shower and get all that smelly mess off of me!
  • Speaking of those who have been here for a long time... I imagine you've probably noticed a marked reduction in the number of comments that the Lizzle has been leaving for you... Allow me to explain. I thought the warranty on my computer expired next month, so I took it to the shop to get all of the minor crap that was wrong with it fixed, so that it was pearly and perfect before the warranty expired and I was left to deal with the bigger problems that were sure to arise from the minor stuff that was going on... It turns out I still have another year on the warranty, but still, I figured since I was there, and the computer was handy, I might as well let them fix it, so as a direct result I've been contending with the craptastic world of DIAL-UP. (Yes, there are still people in the stone age of DIAL UP! And in this particular case, it stems from grandpa's unwillingness to have cable of any kind installed, and thus there is no internet unless you're willing to grind it out over the phone lines. Though we might be better off with Morse code, I hear that's pretty fast!) So anyway, once I have my computer back, I'll be back to using my wireless, and I'll be able to leave you all comments galore without having to wait five minutes for the comment window to load.

I suppose that's all for now. My visits drop wayyyy down on the weekends anyway, so hopefully I haven't bored too many of you. Please resume your regularly scheduled weekend amusements.

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