Tuesday, June 12, 2007

The bartender is rich... The Lizzle is still a lowly social worker...

I checked the bartender's email. DAMN! I gotta say, in addition to the 12.5 million I was getting from that first banking scam, I'm also expecting 35 million from another banking scam, and 4 million from "international lottery winnings." Seriously, I got three e-mails in the 24 hours after that last post, and they were all pretty much the same tone... And they apparently got my e-mail without reading the post it was solicited from, because they all seemed to think I was a damned fool. You bitches have been around a while. You all know that I am NOBODY'S fool.

Speaking of which, while working in my full time gig as a social worker, I've noted that I am frequently lied to... And I don't want to toot my own horn here, but I have picked up on it every time... But let's face it, when you're in a position where you have a case worker, it's pretty tough to lie and not get caught, because we have all the resources we need to check out your story, and well, WE DO. If you're getting services from multiple social service agencies, and we all know about each other, I hate to give away the trade secret here, but I will... WE. TALK. TO. EACH. OTHER... WE ALL KNOW WHAT'S GOING ON. We might be good at building a repoire with you, and making you think we're friends and all, but when you've signed a consent form stating that we can discuss your case with other people on your case, WE'RE GOING TO. (We cover our bases with that consent form SPECIFICALLY for that reason.)

Anyway... I haven't noted much on a personal level lately...I'll update you, hopefully without boring you... So here goes.

1. Last week we played softball against the department of child services. (This was the specific reason we got into this particular league.) We demolished them. Final score 17-3. I had a double, a single, and a ground-out.

2. That hygiene case I've got? It turns out that it's the saddest case I've seen so far. The other day I went to see them and they noted that they didn't have bread or toilet paper. I went and bought them bread and toilet paper, and based on the look I got from the little girl in the house, you'd have thought I was Santa Claus and the Easter bunny rolled into one. She was utterly amazed that I would go and buy them bread and toilet paper. She was as excited about a few rolls of toilet paper as a lot of kids would have been to get a pony, or a playstation or something.

3. The Sopranos ended the other night... A lot of you are saying, "So what." Most people I know haven't watched The Sopranos in years. The few people I do know who still watch it were pissed off at the ending... As it seems to be a major topic of discussion lately, and since I don't watch enough TV to warrant having cable, let alone premium channels, I tracked down the ending on Youtube. Youtube has since deleted it. See? Anyway... For those of you who haven't seen it and are still waiting to view it on your tivo, skip ahead to #4. (There be spoilers ahead!) Ok, so the rest of you have either seen it, heard about it, or don't really give a rat's pink ass. Personally I fall in the last category. But since I watched the youtube copy of the ending before the deletion, I will give you my take. Tony and his posse are sitting at a table eating onion rings and as his daughter walks in, YOWZA! THE SCREEN GOES BLACK. You wanna know what I think? I think that the writer (who in the future is likely to see people burning all his former writing credits in effigy) was using this ending as a social commentary. Here's what I think really happened. Tony and his crew functioned out of New Jersey, right? And they have banned trans-fats in New York, right? Well, I think that since they were in Jersey instead of NYC, Tony and the other folks were eating onion rings cooked in trans-fat-ridden oils, and they all silently collapsed on the table as a result of massive heart attacks. The end. The writers just want you to stop listening to Journey music and enjoy healthier snacks.

4. I am pissed off because my dining room table still hasn't arrived. We were told when we paid for it that it was on order. (Note: this was in late APRIL.) We were told it would be in sometime in early May. I was fine with that at the time, well, considering we still hadn't gotten a call seeing when they could deliver it, we went into the store to see what was up.

"Uhh, yeah, it probably won't be in until early July."
"Early July? That's ridiculous! I was told it would be two weeks, now you're saying it will total TWO MONTHS?"
"Well, we've got two in the store, but you're fifth on the list for this store... and nationally we've got 441 coming in in a couple weeks... Let's see, you're #371. So you should get yours about July 7th."
"You must be joking."
"And seeing as it's been more than a month already, when were you planning on letting me know that I wasn't going to have a place to sit and eat dinner FOR ANOTHER MONTH?"
"Well someone should have called you."
"Well, they didn't... And while I don't mean to shoot the messenger on this one, you're the only one here, and we're unhappy... So what are you prepared to do about it?"
"I can give you 10% off... That's the best I can do."
"Well then do that, and know we're pissed off because you already have our money and you're trying to jerk us around."
(These bastards are the only ones who are standing between you crazy assholes and a photographic tour of my awesome new furniture in my fabulous apartment in a less than fabulous city.)

5. The wonk has returned with a vengeance. It was so bad that I skipped the mandatory staff meeting this morning because I had a NASTY case of the wonk coupled with unexplained nausea. (And no, there's not even a remote chance I am pregnant, unless it was an immaculate conception, so just drop that idea.)

6. Speaking of pregnancy, I found out that my best friend in this neck of the woods is having a boy... I promptly went out and bought things once I found out the sex.

7. Jamie has been waiting on a letter from me. I wrote one initially, and it was delayed because my retarded ass couldn't make it to the post office to make sure it was covered as far as international postage was concerned. Since then it has been further delayed, because I wanted to wait long enough to send a gift with it, but the gift was special ordered... I assure you Jay, I have not forgotten you. Your letter and gift ARE coming.

8. I've consumed 2 bottles of wine while composing this post. And I need to get to bed now, because I have to meet with my supervisor in the morning. But before I go, does anybody know what happened to Laurie over at beauty and the beer? She just up and disappeared! I was a regular reader of that mess, and I saw no indication that she was giving it up... but BAM... Her blog is gone! Help a sister out!

I love you sluts!


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