Ok, so I'm not moving to Nepal. But I'll tell you all something, there are moments the idea is tempting.
The only problem with moving to Nepal? It'd be tough to find a wireless signal. And I'm pretty sure that I couldn't afford airfare right now. (...Note to self: Check into pricing on one-way ticket to Nepal.)
The fact is that I am struggling to make heads or tails of my life at the moment. The fact is that I am a college-educated, reasonably attractive girl, (Stop giggling! I can be cute if I try!) and I've got what can only be described as 'OODLES of personality.' Apparently that and a dollar seventy-five will get me a ride on the el. Because I know it's not enough to get a bartending job in this crazy town.
So I decided to make myself a little more marketable by going to bartending school. I figured it would help to actually know how to make some of those crazy drinks, and at least look like I know what's going on behind the bar. That hasn't seemed to help either.
In my quest to get a bartending job (insert "in the last week" when reading "quest") I have applied at 18 different bars/restaurants (ALL of which placed ads seeking bartenders!) ...And do you want to know the result?
Well... I did get a "trial position" at Reza's on Clark, but that bitch wants me to wait tables hawking Persian food instead of pouring drinks. You know what I say to that? FUCK THAT! I didn't spend an ass-load of money on a college education to wait tables. And I didn't spend money on bartending school to wait tables.
The fact is that I know that bartenders in this town make a killing, so that's why I spent the money on bartending school. Well, that, and I know I'd be fucking brilliant at it.
How do I know this? I know this because in addition to the 30 or so people who have repeatedly told me that I would be an incredible bartender, alcohol is in my DNA!
And no, I'm not merely referring to the negligible amount that is presently coursing through my veins as I sit here, drinking as I type, feeling sorry for myself.
I'm referring to the fact that my dad, who has since been unsuccessful in other businiess endeavours used to own a liquor store. (We had a kegerator/tap system in my basement when I was a little kid!) My brother is a bartender. I got into bartending school cheap because I know people who operate bartending schools... etc.
So, despite the fact that I know what the fuck I'm doing behind a bar, I graduated at the top of my bartending school class, bartending being something I was born to do, and a track record for being a reliable, selfless, and honest employee, and having the right personality for the job, I am apparently only fit to waitress.
LOOK OUT, NEPAL! HERE I COME!