Flower slinging isn't the most fun job in September, but it's keeping Lizzle out of the poor house for the time being!
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Yesterday I met up with Anthony, and we had a couple lunchtime margaritas and walked around with a decent buzz for a couple hours... it was delightful.
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I think that the reason that I can't find a lobster is because I am too busy cultivating my many relationships with all of my gay boyfriends... I'm a total flame dame!
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I'm always amused when people talk about the things that give them really bad hangovers, or the things that make them feel really gross the next day... For Caro it's any amount of white wine, for Anthony it's white wine (but only if he has 2 glasses or less), for Erin it's champagne, for me it's tequila... and it's not so much a bona fide hangover as it is a REALLY NASTY headache.
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Murphy is a siamese fighting fish, but I think he's also part chameleon, because he changes colors when he gets mad... and I'm not the only person who has noticed it!
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I hate the internet right now... actually no, I don't hate the internet, I hate being too poor to afford a proper internet connection and thus I am frustrated with not having a solid internet signal... either way, I can't update my itunes, and I can't carry on an IM conversation... so I'm ready to destroy the whole of the internet... a few specific sites will be spared.
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I need a haircut.
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I have a kind of weird facsination with the song "Wicked Game" by Chris Isaak... I can't explain it, it's just one of those songs that I always find myself coming back to.
And since we're on the subject, the video for that song is HOT! Yeah, you know the one, with Chris and Helena Christensen out on a black sand beach... Even non-smokers need a cigarette after watching that!
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I saw a baby the other day that looked like it was half lizard... There was obviously something wrong with it that couldn't be corrected, or hasn't been corrected yet... Either way, it made me sad.
God will likely punish me for all my misdeeds by seeing to it that I birth a lizard baby.
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I'm the first to admit that I occasionally venture out of the apartment looking dreadfully short of being a fashionista, but really people... we need to address some serious fashion crimes here.
- Velour pants. - They are out of style, and if you're bigger than a size 4, they never looked good on you to begin with.
- Shirts with the sleeves cut off. - This is only a problem if you have flabby arms... unfortunately most of the people choosing to make this fashion statement haven't worked on their biceps and triceps in quite some time!
- Ugg boots. - If you haven't figured out that these are not cute, and not in style anymore, then god have mercy on you.
- Exposed midriff. - If you don't have a flat tummy then please spare the rest of us... we don't like walking around being embarrassed for you, and we certainly don't enjoy ogling your nasty roll hanging out over your too-tight jeans... really, we can do without it!
- Trucker hats. - For real. They are done. Over. And they aren't coming back any time soon... so dispose of that atrocity promptly.
- Leg warmers. - Unless you are actually making a living as a dancer there is no reason that you should own a pair of these... and I don't think that many ACTUAL dancers even sport these anymore.
- Mini-skirts. - We're getting into that time of year when temperatures drop, and mini-skirts become stupid... does that mean bitches will stop wearing them? No. That's why it's a problem.
- Thrift-store finds. - Vintage is one thing, finding a ratty old moth-eaten jacket and sporting it like it's the height of fashion is another. Let's face facts, you get what you pay for, and there is a reason that VINTAGE RESALE SHOPS charge premium prices, while the salvation army will let you pick up a 3 piece suit for $2.50.
- GIANT sunglasses. - Seriously, we know you all want to look like Nicole Richie, there comes a time when you stop looking cute, and start looking like Elton John.
- Any fashion pairing that you think Fergie would sport. - It might be brightly colored, but it ain't cute. Get over it.
- Insert other fashion crimes here. - I'm sure I'm forgetting a bunch of things, but I get so frustrated when dealing with this nonsense!
I have gotten a chance to sit and think about my own level of popularity. I understand that I'm kind of an acquired taste, and thus my popularity is limited by the fact that I don't openly embrace the accolades of large masses of people and vise versa. But take a minute and think about it... think of a VERY popular person who you know but don't necessarily like. They are probably super-popular because they are either too dumb to know better, or because the people who adore them are too dumb to care deeply about anything.
Don't believe me?
Just remember, MILLIONS of people LOVED the macarena.
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QOTD
Liz: What are you doing?
Anthony: I was waiting for you, so I thought I'd see what this smelled like.
Liz: And? What's the verdict?
Anthony: It smells like... cheap.
Liz: OH, look, they have another variety!
Anthony: Yay! Now I can smell like 2 kinds of cheap!
"Oh no she didn't! I will beat that bitch with a bat!" ~ Anthony
Anthony: You're looking good!
Liz: I'm feeling good!
Anthony: Well that's good!
Liz: Well, in a word, yeah.
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