Well, kids it was family reunion weekend once again, and you know what that means... An alcohol-soaked, gossip-and-laughter-laden bullshit fest at the cabins on Patoka Lake. This year we had new additions to the old stomping grounds, which included four horses (more about them later) and a GIGANTIC rooster! As for family additions, Tammy has had yet another baby, Sandy announced that she wants to adopt YET ANOTHER child, Shelly got married, Tiffany got engaged, Tarreck is robbing the cradle, and nobody outside the family has any idea what the hell I'm talking about. But all in all, I'm amused, and it was a good weekend. (Oh, and it's official, I'm going straight to hell.) I guess I should go ahead and recap for you all... Here goes.
FRIDAY -
12:01 AM - I refer to my plagued mother as a leper and call her "Lep" for short (this is reason 712 why I'm going to hell)
6:30 AM - get up and leave to drive to family reunion
9:30ish AM - I LAUGH at my mother for a 40 minute detour taken through Hammond Indiana going the wrong direction
2:00 PM - I arrive at my brother's place just in time to watch a police chase of some idiotic criminal in CA, and it becomes a running joke for the weekend ahead.
3:45 PM - Bill and Lisa take quote of the day.
4:15 PM - First sighting of the now-infamous "Squizard!" (This ends up being another quote for the annals.)
4:30 PM - We arrive, and drinking begins promptly.
Sometime shortly after dinner - drinking and bullshitting increase steadily.
Time gets hazy - Lots of sports and alcohol talk with uncle Steve, lots of alcohol consumed. Sleeping on shitty couch with shitty blankets commences.
SATURDAY -
roughly 7:00 AM - Post-alcohol vomiting.
roughly 8:00 AM - Post-alcohol dry heaves.
roughly 8:20 AM - Post-alcohol dry heaves, round 2.
9:05 am - Wake-up call, Bill takes quote of the day again, Babysitting begins, alcohol consumption and vomiting become part of family reunion lore.
10:00 AM - 1:30 PM - Horses nearly trample small children and beloved pets. Other family socializing/gossiping, golf/assorted game-playing napping, etc take place.
1:45 PM - Family softball begins.
2:00 PM - Becky takes softball to the face, rallies like a champ!
2:25 PM - Family softball game gets organized & gets serious.
4:30 PM - My team wins family softball on a walk-off 2 run homer. Final score 13-11.
6:00 PM - Dinner consumed, alcoholism resumes.
7:00 PM - Campfire commences.
7:00 PM - 8:09 PM - Jamie babbles only occasionally coherently about sand people, ice people, a dog, someone named Bob, a marshmallow-stealing monster with no teeth, and god getting married to mother nature... (parts were really amusing.)
8:10 PM - I confirm my seat in hell with another smart remark.
8:30 PM - Marshmallow/S'more consumption begins.
9:00 PM - 2:00 AM - Bullshitting, family games, and general roasting of people seem to rule the evening. (which is exactly what we expected)
SUNDAY -
8:00 AM -Wake up call (Becky + Pot + spoon + 2 sleeping sisters at 8:00 AM = not funny.)
10:00 AM - Time to hit the road.


Other assorted madness available upon request. I'm tired though, so I think I'm going to put up the quotes of the day and call it a night.
QOTD - 6.25.04
Bill: I have an idea! How about I climb in the trunk and we pretend like I didn't come along!
Lisa: Bill, any idea that starts off with "How about I climb in the trunk..." is generally not a good idea.

Also 6.25.04
Lisa: did you just see that? It looked like a cross between a squirrel and a lizard. WOW, I just saw a squizard!

QOTD - 6.26.04
Dad:(in his booming voice) OK, everybody, time to get up!
Bill: IT'S GOD!
Kim: What time is it anyway?
Bill: Single digits... and not the good ones, let's go back to sleep!

Also 6.26.04 - (The comment that confirmed my seat in hell)
(After Jamie's incessant babbling.)
Jessica: And to think that was me just three years ago.
Liz: Wait, Jessica, three years ago you were a small black boy?

QOTD - 6.27.04 (share this one with your friends.)
Kim: Why does Snoop dog carry an umbrella?
Liz: I don't know, why?
Kim: For drizzle.