Thursday, September 07, 2006

This is your post. (Updated)

SarahReznor writes:
I'm with summer - I want a getting drunk at Christmas story! What? That's not what she said?

I'm not sure that I have a real "drunk at Christmas" story... I think the best I can do is to give you the basic details of a Christmas pub crawl in which I participated.

The 12 bars of Christmas... I heard about it through some friends. The idea behind it was to pay the up front fee, have food and drinks provided at each of the establishments, and to bring a box of cereal. Some of you are probably thinking that the cereal was to donate to some food bank or something similarly "giving in the spirit of Christmas"... Huh, no. The cereal was for we drunk asses to nibble on between the bars. It was lovely. The conversational highlights from that particular evening escape me now, but I do know that at one point it became my mission to try all the different cereals present. I think that was the alcohol talking... But a good time was had by all.

Loni writes:
if you could be in ANY band at ANY time, which would it be? What instrument would you be rockin out? or would you be the lead singer/tambourine girl? and don't worry, if you choose to answer, I won't psychoanalyze the shit out of it. I hate Freud.

Hmmm... Any band. Any time... With options that broad and all-inclusive, I'd say I'd probably want to be a Beatle. If we're not taking into account the untimely end and the whole Yoko Ono DISASTER, I'd want to be John Lennon. I mean really, the music was mainstream while still being revolutionary. And if I were Lennon I'd have made the call that the Beatles were more important than that hussy Yoko! (That bitch!)

Brenda Love wants to know: I really really want to know what the Lizzle thinks of Suri Cruise....In detail!

Ok. For as much as I joke about conspiracy theories and all, having seen photographic evidence that there is in fact a baby, I'm going to go ahead and concede the point. Heavily photoshopped or not, I think the baby is theirs. But I think that all the conspiracy theories do have some kind of basis because Tom is so whacked. I think that while the baby is real, the relationship is not. It's too all-or-nothing for me. It's all grand gestures when the cameras are rolling, and little or nothing otherwise, and that smells a little fishy to me. I'm of the opinion that while the baby is really genetically their baby, that it was most likely conceived with a turkey baster. I also think that little Suri (with the fringe on top... Literally) is going to have a sad life. She's gonna be trapped in the life of scientology-induced-weirdness, and I have the feeling that she's going to have trouble finding herself and end up in some kind of rehab. I don't have any franchise on this as truth, but that's my take.

Jay queries: Successors to the throne of "Crazy foreign guy with animals" now that dear Steve Irwin has moved on. But I understand if it's too soon for this one.

Of all the crazy animal guys, I can only think of three right now that have any chance at stepping up the game to try to be that guy. Two of those guys aren't foreign. One of them has been around forever without ever achieving "Crikey-like" fame levels, and the foreign guy, well I don't know what the hell his name is.

Ok so for the domestic Steves, I'm thinking either Jack Hannah, or Jeff Corwin... I'm thinking Corwin really has the youth advantage and the potential to step up the game.

If we've gotta go foreign, the only guy I can really think of is that kooky red-headed Irishman who goes out and harasses anacondas in India and similar places where anacondas hang out. But like I said, I don't even know what the hell his name is, so I'm not putting my money on him.

Dream job/vacation/meal?

HMMMM... Dream job. Ideally I'd like to make a living in a creative field. I would love to sustain myself as an artist, but seeing as there is little appreciation for most things artistic in this day and age and I don't have some kind of trust fund or patronage to live off of, I don't see me following my bliss any time soon.

Dream vacation - I already got to travel to Europe. And though I would love to see the rest of the world at some point, I think my dream vacation would involve going back to Europe with my favorite people. I would love to go back and tour Italy and Greece again and take a cruise through the Greek islands with people like my mom and Anthony because while I have been there, and I've seen it before, I would want to go with them and experience it with them, seeing it and experiencing it through their new eyes. The great part about touring in Europe is that not only can you do some serious shopping and live the high life in the beautiful cities, you can also do some hiking in the hills and the ruins, and you can lounge on the beaches too. It's all there!

Dream meal - I don't know. There is a lot of food out there that I've never tried, so I can't really factor those choices into what I think a dream meal consists of. So I'd say that I would want to just re-create the best meal I've ever had, which was a 5 course tour of delights that we had while I was in Europe the first time around. It started off with a lovely bruschetta, some wine, and I am pretty sure there was a prosciutto with melon, there was a cheese course, the single most incredible pasta dish that I've ever had in my entire life, and tiramisu for dessert... Simply magnificent!

Planeswalker inquires:

How about the first crush you ever had that you actually acted on?

Umm, I believe it was 7th grade, his name was Clayton, and it just so happened to be a mutual crush. We met at one of those little middle school mixer dances, we slow danced, we sat in metal folding chairs and chatted. We held hands. We were an item for probably three weeks... maybe a month, (and again during my freshman year of high school briefly.) Yeah, that's really the long & short of it.

And Kimberlina keeps me real with her question:

Who's your favorite sister?

Kim, if you have to ask who my favorite sister is, then you apparently don't know me very well. And so I'm not going to dignify that question with response.

Ha! Just kidding. What word, more than any other word, do you think describes you as a person?

Damn... one word. That really kind of limits the field. There isn't a real opportunity to kind of temper one word with another. So I'll just do what I do and make my one word "Genuine."

What you see is what you get with me.

And there you have it. Anything else? Let me know. I'll keep going!



Deb wants to know: Hey Lizzle, I didn't realize that we were asking questions. So here's mine... What would be your perfect date?

Well Deb, at this point I'm thrilled to have a date period... I'm not holding my breath for a "perfect" date any time soon. That said, I think it has more to do with the guy than the activity. Ok, so we're pretending that I've found some really great guy. This in itself is something of a stretch. So we're assuming that the chemistry is there, and that he can conversationally keep pace. As for the date itself, I've gotta say that while I don't mind a guy who uses the fail safe classic date, I love a guy who thinks outside the box. I would love it if a guy took me horseback riding or something. The zoo is what I'd consider a safe date, but when I've gone on the zoo date, I've generally had a pretty good time. Maybe a trip to the planetarium or a picnic on the beach. Despite all my jaded missives, I really am a hopeless romantic. And homegirl loves it when a guy who is date worthy knows how to throw in a little romance. Doesn't have to be expensive, I'd just like to see that he put a little thought into it.

And SarahReznor issued this statement and query:

this is awesome - it's like the best post ever! i loved it.

Sarah, you are way too easily amused... but I'm glad I can make you happy with such a minimal effort.

i got another couple for you - what's the best gift you ever got? and what's the best gift you've ever given?

Best gift I've ever gotten... Hmm... I would have to say that the best gift I've ever gotten would be a gift that I got without any special occasion. My mom took me to the art supply store and she bought me a set of sable brushes, (EXTREMELY EXPENSIVE,) some paints, and canvases. I think it was the best gift I've ever gotten because it wasn't expected, it wasn't a special occasion, and it was a gift that was supportive of something that I love doing.

The best gift I've ever given, well that's a bit tougher. Other people might have a different opinion of the gifts I've given, but the one that really stands out as a great gift was a painting that I gave to my cousin. She had a baby that was diagnosed with a fatal birth defect. The baby was not expected to make it to term, but she did, and actually survived 8 weeks. Knowing about the defect in advance, I had an opportunity to think about a way that I could do something. I know that given the gravity of the situation it might not have seemed like much, but I painted a pink rose (the flowers that were used at the baby's funeral) on a multi-colored pastel background, and an inspirational quote. I think it was probably the most thought and labor intensive gift I've ever given, and so I think that makes it the best. (It was also probably my best work to date.)

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