Sunday, October 15, 2006

A Change of Space for a Change of Pace...

Contrary to what the title would indicate, I'm not going to go all Dr. Seuss on you... Although, maybe I should, because that guy made some serious bank talking about frickin' a cat in a frickin' hat. I could frickin' do that... (OK, ENOUGH!)

In case you didn't notice, I took a little hiatus from writing. It wasn't a particularly long hiatus, but for someone who usually posts something EVERY SINGLE DAY, (sometimes two or three times a day,) a four day break is kind of note worthy.

Friday I celebrated my birthday with a couple of friends. It wasn't a late night or anything, just dinner and drinks, but it was nice. (I did drink enough to place a couple of drunk dials... my apologies to you kids, you know who you are.)

Saturday I did a WHOLE LOT of nothing. And that was the case for much of Sunday as well.

Sunday evening was a different story though.

About midday I got to thinking that something was amiss. I thought and thought about it, and realized what it was. Despite having a job now, part of me was still firmly lodged in that old rut. But why?

And then I had it. I realized that while I am making a livable income, I had simply exchanged one thing for another, and left the rest of my life alone. I exchanged the job search for the job. And for the first few weeks, that alone was enough. It's not enough now. The rest of my life stayed the same. And that was a problem.

In my unemployment days I became accustomed to doing nothing with much of my time. (Doing nothing costs nothing, thus the appeal, and thus the rut.) I realized that I had become comfortable with nothing. I got used to coming home at the end of a day, having a meal, and going to sleep, only to get up in the morning and do it all over again. Weekends spent doing nothing at all... After so long it got REALLY comfortable in that rut. And today I realized that in the process of getting comfortable there, I lost something of myself. And the part I was rapidly losing touch with was all that same part of me that was once fun. I was watching it ride away into the sunset... And we all know that I couldn't let that happen. Sure I'm ok with staying in from time to time, I am perfectly capable of entertaining myself, but the fact is that while my time alone was once cherished and productive, now almost totally sedentary and miserable. Hell, I even put off doing my laundry for three weeks simply because I knew I could get away with it. And today, the gravity of that hit me like a ton of bricks.

Upon realizing this, I decided some change was in order. And I needed to make a BIG change in a BIG way... And I needed it NOW. So what did I do? I rearranged my furniture.

My bed used to be pushed against a wall in the corner. I saw this as a large part of my problem. I have my reasons for thinking this... I won't bore you with them.

So I moved my bed to the middle of a different wall. I moved other furniture too. (And yes, I moved it all by myself, because like I've said before, I'm hardcore about my independence like that.)

I figured changing things around in my apartment might be the starting point to changing my overall situation. I like my apartment. (I mean for the money I pay, I'd be stupid not to like it.) I don't want to move. I've had enough moving for a while. (This is yet another reason I was so vehemently opposed to moving home.) But the change was necessary.

Basically, I decided I've got to get my act together and I think this was a step in the right direction. (And yes, I finally did my laundry too!)

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