Suffering from March Madness induced Bracketosis... already.

I called Kirsten today to go over the NCAA bracket, as we traditionally discuss it every year, and we ended up talking for an hour and a half. (Since I work in an NCAA Division 1 athletic department, it is necessary for me to say that despite not having our team in the tourney, I am not gambling on the tourney, I am not in any pools, and I was filling out the bracket just for fun... so now that we've covered that, and I get to keep my job, on with the story) Me talking on the phone to anyone for an hour and a half is a big thing... I'm not big on the phone in most cases. There are, in fact, only a few people who I can stand having long phone conversations with. They include Dave, who inexplicably no longer talks to me, Kirsten who is always busy when I call, Momma who is never too busy when I call, and my friends Beth, Karla, and Griggs who I only consult by phone in instances of extreme drama that I can no longer deal with. (We all know I don't do drama very well.) But anyway, being on the phone that long garnered me some strange looks at the gym, where I happened to be while I made the call. But long story short, Kirsten reminded me of something that got quote of the day before this page was founded, so I decided it needed to be immortalized here and now.

A little background: In past years Kirsten and I have sweat every decision regarding the brackets, some years are obviously better for us than others, but in spite of all the basketball we watch, and as much as we might know about college hoops, it seems that we are almost always bested by Kirsten's older sister Kelly who watches little or no basketball and picks teams based on "Who has the better name" or "Who has the better uniform colors" ... NO, I'M NOT KIDDING. (You'd think this would never stand a chance, but actually in years when the unthinkable happens, ...like, oh, say... Kenyon Martin snapping his leg like a toothpick the year everybody had Cincy winning it all... That year it worked out better for those who didn't know enough to pick Cincy)

So last year when Kirsten had Wake Forest winning it all, and they crashed and burned, and Kirsten's bracket looked as though it were bleeding from all the Xed out teams that she'd picked, she took her bracket down. And when the time was right, Kirsten LITERALLY did what she always said she felt like she ought to do with her bracket.

SHE WIPED HER ASS WITH IT.

And no, I'm not kidding about this.

*Side note, we have all learned our lesson with Gonzaga, and this year for some reason we like Old Dominion in the first round... don't ask.

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I have great conversations with Mendez, and since I'm too lazy to actually compose a real post right now, you'll get to read this instead... Enjoy (P.S. - I don't care if you read something that offends you... so get over it, you politically correct piece of crap!)

*For those of you who are unaware, I'm "Damn Liz Forgot" and Mendez is "Nenny 82"

Damn Liz Forgot: you've been online for a fucking hour and you don't say hey to a nigga, BITCH, PLEASE
Nenny82: lol hey lady!!! i'm not really like online online. i just have this shit on... what are you doing?!
Damn Liz Forgot: living life... momma told me that she's giving me money to go out drinkin with you because she would've spent it on us if we had gone out on Sat
Nenny82: lol are you serious?
Damn Liz Forgot: yup.
Nenny82: awwww thats like so sweet of her to say and funny too. very funny.
Damn Liz Forgot: she said I could spend it on drinks or go to the grocery... I told her I'd likely be drinking it
Nenny82: LMAO nice
Damn Liz Forgot: yup... so what are you doing over there? lookin at porn?
Nenny82: LOL
Damn Liz Forgot: hardcore S&M shit?
Nenny82: no i'm doing some gay ass hw
Damn Liz Forgot: oh, so it's GAY porn
Nenny82: lmao youre so stupid
Damn Liz Forgot: I believe you have mistaken the word stupid for HILARIOUS
Nenny82: LMAO maybe i have... youre cracking me up tonight
Damn Liz Forgot: I think you're just loopy then, because I'm not in my best form.
Nenny82: well i did pull an allniter last nite and havent slept since... that could be why youre extra funny to me now, BUT you always make me laugh
Damn Liz Forgot: I just told one of my friends that I would roundhouse kick her in the head, encase her in cement, put her in a freezer and sink her to the bottom of lake michigan... I'm mean.
Nenny82: LOL wtf?! thats all dahmer without the cannibalism
Damn Liz Forgot: yeah, I'm not into eatin' folks... and I'm not into gay male sex either... Nenny82: no, i dont suppose folks would be tasty. Now llamas on the other hand....
Damn Liz Forgot: llamas probably taste like ham... or lasagna.
Nenny82: LOL lasagna
Damn Liz Forgot: I like lasagna, what of it?
Nenny82: i hate it
Damn Liz Forgot: WHAT!!?!?! You crazy brownie!you obviously have no idea what's good for you.
Nenny82: i like pizza, i like bagels! i can even eat a baby dear! who's that baby dear on the lawn there?!
Damn od Liz Forgot: I hope you mean a baby deer... because otherwise you just called me Dear and told me that you'd eat a baby... YOU EAT BABIES!!!!
Nenny82: lmao i totally DID misspell deer, but babies are delicious.... I MEAN, ummm
Damn Liz Forgot: you're a fuckin baby eater!!!
Nenny82: um, BABY deer
Damn Liz Forgot: we can't be friends once I get married and pregnant.
Nenny82: i'll feast on your children
Damn Liz Forgot: I'm not going to allow you to feast on the flesh of my young. I will stab you in the face with a soldering iron!
Nenny82: yowsa! youre feisty today lizzle-cake!
Damn Liz Forgot: and then I'll make taco meat out of you and feed you to your own family!Damn Liz Forgot: Lizzle-cake?
Nenny82: i felt like your name needed a little something extra... like, cake
Damn Liz Forgot: great... I like cake... now I'm fuckin hungry.
Nenny82: mmm i want cake too
Damn Liz Forgot: I have alana's b-day cake here but I'm already a hoss... I don't need cake!Nenny82: hoss? whats that?
Damn Liz Forgot: umm, gigantor, disgusting lump
Nenny82: SHUT THE FUCK UP BEFORE I SHANK YOU
Damn Liz Forgot: don't make me come over there and choke a 106 lb bitch. I'll do it!
Nenny82: nigga i grew up in the hood, you dont know abt my shanking abilities
Damn Liz Forgot: bitch please... I might look big and cumbersome, but I can still choke a bitch with no problem.
Nenny82: lol choke a bitch. i like it when you use that expression.
Damn Liz Forgot: I busted it out in class today. it was pure comedy.

(So there I hope you're happy.)

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QOTD: (With regard to a girl in my Drama class who never shuts up)
3.16.05 - "Seriously though, is she like mildly retarded? I honestly can't tell!" ~Julie (and she said this in the middle of class too, so maintaining a level of decorum was difficult)