So I got to thinking. And since we know it's in the works already, I think we need to start making casting decisions for the made-for-TV-movie about the JonBenet case, since we now have a suspect pinned down for the cursory dramatic courtroom sequence at the end.
Well, Dakota Fanning is playing JonBenet... We know that much, even though she's like 27 now, she's known for being that cute little blonde girl that everyone loves so damn much. (We all know that Paris Hilton would REALLY be trying for a casting call on this one... but I've got to draw the line somewhere!) And I always thought that John Ramsey looked a little bit like Bill O'Reilly. Though Bill O'Reilly is a jerkface, and not an actor, so John Ramsey would probably be played by someone like Victor Garber in heavy makeup. Patsy Ramsey is going to be played by ... Oh I don't fuckin know... I can't think of anyone! Someone else is going to have to do some work on this goddamn movie too, you know! Though they'll probably fuck it up and get Joan Collins or something.
I DO, however, have the PERFECT guy to play the killer... He's a guy who is used to playing the killer! And he's a close enough match to work in a TV movie... His name is Bruce Payne.
I was watching Passenger 57 this weekend, and I was a little creeped out by the resemblance.**UPDATE** Ok, so I just saw on Cnn.com that they aren't charging this loon... So I guess we'll have to wait on casting the actual killer, but we can still cast this guy in a cameo role to give our little movie the right plot twist. I mean he REALLY does look like him!
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