Saturday, September 18, 2004

From a relative outsider's take, I understand addiction... I understand why people become alcoholics, and I totally understand how people can become addicted to pills, or other drugs. I understand these kinds of addictions only because with what little experience I've had with pain killers, (obtained legally for legitimate reasons) and other legitimate prescriptions, I can safely say that drugs are fabulous. As are the feelings that one experiences as a result. And we all know that I love my alcohol... perhaps a little too much, but still. Being under the influence at the moment, I can safely say that I understand most addictions... the one that eludes me though is smoking.

Here's my beef with smoking... the first time that anyone ACTUALLY smokes a cigarette it is not an enjoyable experience. You and your virgin lungs go into a hacking, coughing, near-convulsing/near-vomiting state, and unless I'm mistaken, this is not a pleasant experience. This is totally unlike a normal person's first experience with drunkenness, which is actually quite pleasant... Hangovers are another story, but still at least you've got a pleasant sensation for a little while in there first.

So I guess my question is why after smoking once would someone go back to it? Why would anyone say to themself, "Hey, that hacking, coughing, near-convulsing/near-vomiting thing was REALLY GREAT! Let's give that a second run!" It just makes no sense... so who the hell keeps going back to it enough to become addicted to it? Can anyone explain this to me? Smokers?

Admittedly once you ARE addicted, it's a whole other story... so that's not what I want to know about. I want to know what it is that gets you started on that. Let me know would you? Thanks... I'm going to go back to my fuzzy little world of legitimized addiction now!

P.S. - At what point does consumption and denial of true addiction turn from not being ACTUALLY addicted to being in denial about addiction? I think we need to check into this so that I can say with all certainty that I'm not a junkie and/or a total lush.

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