CONGLOMO!!!!!

Here's an conglomeration of a few smaller bits combined into one larger post... I think it'll be delightful.

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First off, it's Singles Awareness day... aka Valentine's Day.

I hate Valentine's Day for 2 reasons.

1. I've only ever had one Valentine's Day that I've spent with someone special... and over the course of 23 years, that's not the best track record. (The most exciting thing I did on my Valentine's Day this year involved spending $70 on groceries that will last me at least 2 weeks.)
   
2. Valentine's day leads to awkward conversations like these:

Liz: "Hello?"
Dad: "Hey, I was just thinking about my Valentine, and thought I'd give her a call."
Liz: "Oh, really? How is she doing?"
Dad: "Ha! You tell me."
Liz: "Oh, you mean I'm your Valentine?"
Dad: "Well, yes."
Liz: "Well I hope you've got a backup, because if I'm the only Valentine you've got, then it's a real shitty state of affairs!"
Dad: [Slightly bemused, awkward laughter]

-OR-

Liz: "Happy Singles Awareness Day, from the Chicago chapter of cold-hearted singletons and fag-hags!"
Mel: "HA HA, Oh well thanks! And Happy Valentine's Day from the girl in Iowa... So what's going on in Chicago tonight?"
Liz: "Nothing, remember, we just went through this... I'm single. Nothing happens for us single folk on Valentine's Day... No matter where we live."
Mel: "Oh... right."

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On an unrelated note (because this is a conglomeration post, you shouldn't expect things to run coherently through the little line break things...)

I've had some crazy dreams lately... Last night I had a dream involving befriending a beached whale, for some unknown reason carrying around a rather large talking catfish that apparently didn't need to be submerged in water, and my friend Alana being able to conjure up tidal waves in a manner not unlike Ludo from the movie Labyrinth calling the rocks.

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I almost had a brain hemmorhage trying to print something for one of the brokers today because he wanted it on legal-sized paper, and legal sized paper makes my printer WIG OUT.

Basically it caused a "paper jam" (Think like in the movie Office Space when Samir is saying, "Why does it say paper jam when there is no paper jam? I swear to God... One of these days, I'm just going to kick this piece of shit out the window!") And it would do this paper jam thing every 3 pages or so... which might not seem like a lot, but when you're printing 4 copies of a 47-page long document, it's a little excessive.

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