First a little ranting, then a little clarification

I am the first to tell you, that while I am nice to a lot of people the vast majority of the time, I am perfectly capable of being a total bitch. It’s a commonly uttered saying (a la “Champ Kind”) that when you mess with the bull, you’ll get the horns. And even though I am a professional at the fine art of bullshit, I’m no stranger to being the bull… and a bull with some nasty looking horns at that. This is especially true for cases when people aren’t in fact crossing me, but the people I love.

I save the “nice” for the office… By comparison, the mean takes a lot less out of me. So this probably makes me what people would call “protective” … But when I get protective, I get FIERCELY protective. And when I’m in protective mode, it comes out without rhyme, reason, question, or awareness of circumstance.

So my most recent venture into the mean was actually aimed at someone who under normal circumstances would have been in the protective blanket area. Obviously these were not normal circumstances. The person in question? My brother’s girlfriend of three years. The circumstances? She said shit about my family that was unquestionably wrong, and not the kind of things that can easily be laughed off… She meant them to be hurtful.

Now when it comes to dishing out hurt to the masses, if I’m involved, you’re probably better off literally stabbing me in the heart, because if you tangle with the people I love, you can bet that I’m coming after you, and I ain’t foolin around with any of that “fair fighting” mess. I’ll fight dirty, and I’ll win, because that’s just what I do. I'll rip out your heart, take a bite, and shove the rest of it down your throat. And you’d have nobody to blame but yourself for it because you were the one to start shit. (And I'll do even more damage if you consider doing something stupid... like say, bleed on my fabulous shoes.)

Reading back over this, I can definitely sense that there is a deep hostility in it… And not only because I’m writing about being hostile. The fact is that this occurrence is still pretty fresh. Though I have had several days to calm myself down. The brother and girlfriend are still together, so the hostility is in check at present, but if she knows what is good for her, she’ll be minding her P’s and Q’s for a long stretch.


Here endeth the rant.

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And now for the clarification phase.

As for the taxes, I'll be expecting a nice little check from the feds in a couple months, I was just ranting because I don't want to deal with those tanning salon cunts. (And I don't throw that word around lightly.)

As for the hell in a "handwagon" stuff, for those who were confused by the comments, back in the day, when I still posted quotes of the day with some regularity, one of my friends was kind of drunk and was talking about going to hell in a handwagon... And I quoted her, much to the amusement of those of us who worked with her on a daily basis. We joke about it on occasion still, as you can tell.

And speaking of QOTDs, I've got a few for you!!

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"Wow, you're like that deodorant! You kick in inthe clutch!" ~Doris

"I would totally punch a bitch in the face for you! That's how much I love you!" ~Anthony

"Well, we were going to fly our priest out to California to perform the ceremony, but that's going to get really expensive! I mean you've gotta pay taxi fare to the airport, airfare, car rental, hotel, meals... And you've gotta pay so that he has a little boy to fondle... And I'll tell you, the child sex market is EXPENSIVE!" ~John