Do you want to know what has been bothering me lately? Herpes commercials. I strongly suspect that herpes commercials are contributing strongly to my recent insanity. Think about it... the commercial always features some suspiciously hot looking chick describing about how excellent her life is now that she has starting taking these pills. In between her narrative, you see shots of her enjoying life with some guy who is probably going to wake up with one scaly dick. They go scuba diving together, they horseback ride, they greet friends to their backyard barbecue parties... and during all of this, the man has his arm casually slung over her shoulder and he’s grinning like he just got the prize fish of the pond.

Does anyone else have the mad urge to throw aside their remote control, get up and scream at the television, “GET AWAY FROM HER, MAN! SHE HAS HERPES!”

What a sneaky-ass disease-ridden whore. Here’s a hint gentlemen: If she’s hot and she’s constantly describing her life as ‘vibrant,’ then she’s probably burning.