When I have nothing to do, my mind wanders. It just does. I must entertain myself.

Anyway, here's a short list of the things that I think about when I have too much time on my hands -- you know, when driving, standing in the shower, waiting in line, watching prime-time TV, etc.

And, just so you know, these are only the ones I remember from today.

• Due to the rotation of the Earth, and the consequent creation of time zones, every New Year's Day the entire world does the wave.
• What if life had an "Undo" button?
• I bet I could wear my shoes on the wrong feet for an entire day and nobody would mention it.
• Integration is the Jeopardy! of mathematics.
• Retarded kids should have retarded teachers -- I think they'd learn faster if they had a teacher that could communicate on their level.
• "Hysterectomy" should mean the elimination of hysteria. Does that not make sense?
• How long will it be until we have orange juice fortified with awesome?
• "Bat tab" is a palindrome.
• What the hell is a "bat tab?"
• How long could I lie face down in a public park before someone would call an ambulance?
• What kind of kid has aspirations to become a proctologist?
• "Aspirations." That's a funny word. Doesn't it sound like it should mean "ass sweat?"
• Has anyone ever tried to exorcise a person who had, unbeknownst to said exorcist, Tourette's Syndrome?

===============================

And I'd like to thank Sally for this link... because only someone as awesome as Sally would have a link to this in her AIM profile.