I must be some sick kind of masochist.

Despite my knowledge and loathing of my drought, I torture myself. It's been 160 days since a boy has even kissed me as we all too painfully know... And in spite of knowing this, how am I spending my free time at the homestead? That's right, I'm watching whole seasons of "Sex and the City" in one sitting. Yep, I guess I've come to be of the belief that if I can't get any kind of lovin, I might as well watch other neurotic women get action and then either find a way to screw it up themselves, or to come to the inevitable conclusion that men really suck. Yeah, if I can't have it, I'll watch other people have it for a little bit (thus masochistically torturing myself) and then watch it crumble (being a little bit of a relationship sadist for the fictional world)... This is my life. (And I'm really starting to think that I really suck at it.)

Everyone who has been so kind as to tell me that I'll make it through this dry spell, give me advice on how to break it, how to get through it, etc... well, if you're not my mom, you all certainly sound like her. Examples:

1. No, Liz, you're beautiful...
   
2. You're funny, smart, cute, and any boy that can't see that doesn't deserve you.
3. You're going to look hot and you're going to go out and some boy is just going to throw himself at you.
4. If your bra and panties match, you can rule the world, and nothing can stand in your way.
5. If you just stop thinking about it, and relax it will happen.
6. It's gonna happen as soon you least expect it.
7. You don't suck at life.
8. You're a talented, sweet, loving, giving, genuine girl, boys don't know how to respond to that these days.
9. Oh, I know this cute guy... I could set you up!
   
10. Well, you've always got Dave.

To these 10 most commonly heard lines, I must almost invariably reply the same 10 ways:

1. Thank you for saying so, but I disagree... and apparently so do all the acceptable boys on the face of the earth, so at least I agree with them on something!
2. They might not deserve me, but I deserve to at least make out with one of them, right?
3. I've looked hot every time I've gone out in the last 160 days and look where that's gotten me.
4. I have worn matched bras and panties every time I've gone out in the last 160 days and look where that's gotten me.
5. I was relaxed until day 125, when I realized it had been that long since anything had happened... and in that 125 days of relaxation and not thinking about it, I got nothing then either.
6. (See #5 and change to "Not thinking about it for 125 days")
7. I do suck at life and apparently the men can smell the pathetic on me... it's like a 160 day old musk!
8. Boys might not know how to respond to my good qualities, but what am I supposed to do? Not be so awesome?
   
9. The "cute guys" are NEVER cute.... they end up being like Santana or Favier.
10. Yes, Dave loves me, and I love Dave... but I've got one word for you: BALTIMORE.

I highly doubt that there will be any kissin on New Year's, so that leaves me holding out hope for Florida... if I get nothing there, GOD HELP ME!