And BINGO was his name-O

I told my mom last night that she would know what this post was about the second she read the title... Odds are my mom is sitting at the computer doing one of two things: A) She is laughing already because she knows what's coming or B) She is shaking her head in disbelief saying, "I can't believe she's actually going to tell this story."

No matter mom's reaction, here goes!

It might be hard for some of you to believe that I was once a little kid, but it's true. I was. I wasn't so much a little kid as an adult trapped in a smaller, cuter body, with a sweet, innocent face and an overall lack of life experience. Even in first grade I was branded with the nickname "the walking dictionary" by my classmates and teachers. And basically, aside from being smaller, I had essentially the same personality then that I have now.

Now being the mini-me I was, even in kindergarten, I was never one to "play by the rules." Being the rugged individualist I was, even then, I was always ready to put my own spin on otherwise mundane work.

One day, after the class spent the morning learning the song about Bingo the dog, we were expected to draw a picture of Bingo the dog. And so, the class began their drawings. I wasn't having any of that simple- minded- draw- a- dog- like- everyone- else- bullshit. So I used the dog stencil, and while other kids colored their dogs brown or black, I colored mine brown with black spots... And yet, it still lacked the personal touch that I really wanted my work to have.

And so, I re-examined my work. I looked at that brown and black spotted dog. I evaluated all the ways that I could make this project my own.

Draw a dog house? No. That's cliche.

Draw a tree? Maybe some pretty flowers? No, that's been done.

Maybe a pretty red dog collar? No... That's not original enough for this rugged individualist! We need a stroke of true genius here! REAL INGENUITY!

And then it dawned on me.

I picked up my shiny little crayon, and labored over my drawing. My tongue twining its way out the corner of my mouth as I focused diligently on the task at hand.

And moments later, it was done. I laid down my crayon knowing that I had made my dog a true original among the masses!

I had placed my mark on this assignment, and in the process, I landed my work among the legendary masterworks of the day.

I had drawn Bingo taking a dump.

Yep.

There stood Bingo, a proud looking animal. Black and brown, with his tail in the air.

And below that tail, dog turds... Captured in mid-air... Rendered with all the realistic skill that was possible with my little 5 year old hand, armed with a crayola and the desire to stand out.

And stand out is EXACTLY what I did.

My teacher still displayed my work along with everyone else's. And mine truly was an original among the masses. So much so that the school librarian took notice of my work on the hallway corkboard display... And that same librarian promptly issued me a new nickname. From that instant on I was known to her, and to many of the faculty and staff at the school as "Bingo."

It was all down hill from there.