Being poor...

Yeah, so I have this great new job, right? And this job pays for my health insurance, right? And the pay is really good, right? So I'll be able to afford things, right?

WRONG.

Yeah, I still have the job, and yeah the pay is still really good, and my health is covered, but unfortunately, my health is not a market-valued comodity when it comes to getting other shit that I kinda need... And I don't get paid until THIS COMING FRIDAY!?!?!?

So... Here is my current situation. Since working at the tanning salon pretty much paid my rent, and nothing else, I had to put necessities on the credit cards while I was searching for something new... (And I wasn't able to pay them back with much of anything.) So currently, my cards are all in a state of denial because I haven't paid the minimum in a month or two... And since I don't get paid until Friday, I am living off the TINY (and I DO MEAN TINY) amount of available cash that I have until then.

What do you mean by TINY, Liz?

Well, I'll tell you. I have a roll of quarters that I had originally reserved for laundry, a transit pass with $20.00 on it, a check for $15.00 that I got from someone for Christmas, and about $7.87 in cash... That ain't much... Especially when you consider that I'm heading into a weekend with 2 men's volleyball matches, and numerous NFL playoff games.

(We must also consider that Liz will somehow have to manage to eat lunch downtown for 5 days before the paycheck magically appears in my account.)

So Lizzle is hurting on fundage. (Even after calling mom for a small cash infusion.)

So what happens now, you ask?

I'll tell you!

Lizzle relies on highly developed skills and instincts to sort matters out!

Today (Saturday) was the first of the 2 volleyball matches, and the first day of an NFL playoff weekend which must be survived... So...

I see people who I vaguely know while at the volleyball game. (And by vaguely, I mean I've seen them before, though I can't say I honestly know their names.) So during the volleyball game, these 2 people who I vaguely know are actively heckling the other team.

I am a smartass extraordinaire, I can keep pace with the highest grade of heckling... So I make friends with the hecklers during and after the game, and when I head to the nearest bar, they "happen" to show up. So of course, I make mention (in a sly, though completely socially acceptable way) that I don't get paid until Friday, and that I have roughly $7.oo to my name. And so, my new friends decide that I am worth the friendly investment, and sponsor my drinking for the whole of the evening. (I was appreciative!)

Tomorrow, I am scheduled to attend another volleyball game, and go watch the Bears play the Panthers at a bar with the beloved Caroline and Dave.

I will say this, I am ok with maintaining sobriety through the volleyball game... The NFL game is another story.

I feel that it's important to note that the last two times I've gone out with Caroline and Dave, the evenings have been largely, if not COMPLETELY sponsored by Dave. (Dave is a real estate agent, he can handle it... though I still do feel like an ass!)

Going out three times in a row with a couple of people and not picking up a check here and there makes me feel like more than a little bit of an asshole. (I freely admit that when people freeload on me I tend to devolop grudges in a big hurry!)

We'll have to see how tomorrow goes, but I have the distinct feeling that I will be paying my way through the day with witty banter, amusing commentary, and being generally adorable. I know Caroline is a regular reader, and that Dave stops by occasionally as well here at the Happy Hour, so please allow me to say that I am INTENSELY SORRY that I have freeloaded off of you for the last few outings (likely including this Sunday). It is not my style at all to be a freeloader. I am usually the first to readily pitch in my cash, buy a round or two, and tip well. However, the paycheck situation being what it is, I have been forced into a "Thank-god-I'm-likable" situation. And that translates into bumming rounds off of my friends.

That said... I would like to further announce that once I have a paycheck in the bank, I owe you kids a great debt, and I have every intention of repaying it!

Some of you out there are undoubtedly scratching your heads and saying, "But Liz, how will you eat this week?"

And to that I answer, "Two words: EASY MAC."

Fortuantely for me, my dear, sweet, sainted mother bought boxes of easy mac like she had stock in Kraft Foods, and was trying to be the sole customer keeping the company afloat! (Seriously, I have enough Easy Mac here to feed the entire continent of Africa at the moment!)

So, I'll be chowing down on the stale bread that I have, and mass quantities of easy mac until payday... at which point I plan on going out whole hog to the grocery store and the bar, and pony-ing up what I am due!

And that my friends is being poor!